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US law regarding children?

8 replies

myermay · 27/02/2010 15:38

i am hoping that someone can give me some advise to pass onto my sister who lives in Florida. She is married to an argentine & has 3 children with him. he's cheated on her numerous time adn isn't into the family life, they never do things as a family and he works constantly. She is also not allowed to work over there so he supports her and children.

They have a terrible relationship, they make each other miserable. Eventually she has said it's over and she's had enough. He's moved out and for the last month things have been strained but civilised between them. Until he found out that she has seen another man on a couple of occassions, nothing serious but he has gone ape S*. He's moved back in and said he's calling the shots now, he's seen a lawyer and said that he's fighting for custody of all the children, he wants the house adn he wants her out.

Now, as she doesn't work, she has no money for a lawyer. He's seems to think that because she is not financially secure and has no means of supporting the children then he will get custody of them. He said he will work but pay a FT nanny to care for the children.

She is distraught, he's doing everything he can to hurt her, she got a free session at a lawyer who said if she comes back to the UK with the kids then it will be kidnap.

Does this sound right? i can't believe that there is justice to take children away from there mother just because the father has money to fight the case.

Thank you for reading this and if you have any advise that will be appreciated.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/02/2010 15:46

'She is distraught, he's doing everything he can to hurt her, she got a free session at a lawyer who said if she comes back to the UK with the kids then it will be kidnap.'

Yes. Because it is kidnap. If she flees an extradition warrant for her arrest will be issued. And the Brits will hand her over to US authorities and the kids, too. Just as, if you fled with your kids to America from the UK the British would come after you in the same way.

She needs to stay there until it's all worked out.

Joint custody is very common there, full, residential joint custody.

He will need to pay for her maintenance/alimony, to.

He can't just throw her out and take the kids anymore than she can.

Is she a US citizen? I really hope she either is or has a visa to remain in the US in her own right without being married to him.

expatinscotland · 27/02/2010 15:48

And be warned, the UK is way way way more into a mother's rights.

Things are far more gender-neutral in the US with regards to such situations.

A mother is not automatically considered to be the best one to get full residential custody.

Again, joint custody is much more common there.

myermay · 27/02/2010 15:51

thanks for replying. No she is not a US citizen and she is able to remain in America but as far as i know she went on a sports visa and not sure she can work now - she's been trying for years to get it changed.

OP posts:
myermay · 27/02/2010 15:54

the problem being, if he gets joint custody she has no means to buy her own property and support herself/kids as her visa does not permit her to work.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/02/2010 16:00

What is his visa status?

He may have to support her if there is joint custody.

But he may not and she may indeed have some serious immigration issues.

This can happen to immigrants to the UK, too, if they divorce and do not have the right to stay in the UK on their own. It's not just a US thing.

She really needs a lawyer. I'm afraid her issues are too complex for many answers on a net forum unless there is a poster who is a US family lawyer or divorce lawyer or immigration attorney.

But she can't just up and leave with the kids.

myermay · 27/02/2010 16:06

thank you. We are getting her some money together to see a lawyer. Just wanted to see if anyone knew about US law as it's the weekend and can't get hold of anyone. Thanks again

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/02/2010 16:09

You definitely can't flee to the US with the kids, though, that's for sure. That's just Hague Treaty Child Abduction stuff, though, not particular to the US but to all countries involved in the treaty.

Some states in the US require mediation before a divorce is granted if there are children, and some also require counselling.

Every state has a waiting period, too, which can vary from 6 weeks (in states like Nevada) to 18 months (Pennsylvania IIRC) or more.

I don't know of any state that allows a couple to be divorced without having all child custody matters resolved first and approved by a judge.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 27/02/2010 16:18

Scary that some states favor the grandparents over the mother

have a look

Could she ask her lawyer how it's abduction though if there isn't a court order in place?

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