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Can I refuse to house SS?

3 replies

WkdSM · 25/02/2010 15:32

Very briefly - SS (can't call him DSS - sorry!) is 16. He moved in with DH and I 3 years ago when his relationship with him mum broke down. He then:
Stole from a charity account that we were treasurers for (and from us personally)
Stole my underwear and used it while watching porn on PC
Lied constantly about everything - got called in to scholl as he told them he had no liver and lived in a fantasy world
Viewed illegal porn (we had to contact the police as it involved underage children) - and yes as soon as were aware we took action - in the end we had to take all power cords with us when leaving the house as we could not trust him not to go on computer.
We took him to Relate and then contacted Youth Mental Health Team when they said his issues were too great to deal with.
It was incredibly stressful and the break point was when the police warned me that his escalalting behaviour was putting me at risk.
We gave him a choice of going to boarding school (where the same rules apply to everyone and they had 2 child psychologists on staff) or going back to him mum. He chose boarding school.
Now 2 years later he is doing his GCSE's and wants to go back to mums in the summer. But he is behaving so badly during holidays with her she has told him she is not sure she wants him back. If she refuses where do we stand - can we be forced to house him?
My DH does not want him to live with us either.

I know I sound awful - but Social Services were no help last time - they told me I would have to leave my home and would not give us any constructive advice at all.

Thanks.

OP posts:
ILovePlayingDarts · 28/02/2010 15:25

As your SS is now over 16, I think you can indeed refuse to house him.

darcymum · 28/02/2010 15:30

What do you mean-

Youth Mental Health Team when they said his issues were too great to deal with.

I dont think you have to have him to stay but it sounds as if he is doing better at boarding school. Maybe you should give him a chance with a back up plan where he could go (day or night) if he is to hard.

darcymum · 28/02/2010 15:32

Sorry read again about YMHT see what you mean.

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