Power of attorney - MIL doesn't want to do it

[bouncingblueberries]

It's a long story but basically, after my husband's nana was assessed for dementia, MIL was advised to obtain power of attorney. She's refusing to do it, but we don't really know what the consequences are - can anyone advise? MIL is full-time carer for nana and sorts out all her finances, pays her bills, gets her shopping, makes sure her pension is paid into the correct bank account etc. Nana is housebound and very frail. Can anyone advise?

Maybe she's confused about what it would entail? If she doesn't do it, then she runs the risk of your DHs Nana perhaps being persuaded to spend money where she shouldn't - by callers to her home, etc.

Perhaps your H could take the power of attorney himself, would that solve the problem?

Thanks Rebecca - we live south east England but the rest of the family are up in Scotland, so not really ideal. It is a problem that MIL already controls all of Nana's finances but doesn't have power of attorney??

Why does she not want to do it?

I have joint power of attorney with my dad for my uncle. All I had to do was sign the form in front of a witness. I'm only on it as an emergency backup to save hassle in the future.

We really don't know - she's just refusing point blank and claiming it's a waste of time. We really don't understand and she refuses to discuss it. Was hoping someone on here might have some wisdom we could use to convince her that it's necessary.

It might be worth pointing out ,that if things get too difficult ,they may have to go to the court of protection, which is much more complicated to sirt.
As others have said, we did this for my Mother(alzheimers) and my Dad as he wanted us too ,due to his advancing years.
With Mum we had to do it before she couldn't write her own name ( otherwise the court of protection), but with Dad we didn't use it until he was in hospital and needed bills and things paying.HTH

Sorry forgot, just because you set up a POA, you do not have to use it. I have one for my DH as he is in the forces and there has been 1 occasion when I needed it.

www.publicguardian.gov.uk/

This might help.

Thanks flossie

I agree - setting it up now means it is in place when the time comes that it is necessary. It is far less hassle to do it now.

I wonder if your MIL understands what a POA is. I didn't realise that it only gave you the legal right to deal with stuff if necessary and not force you to take 100% control IYSWIM. It's just about making things simpler.

No, I don't think she does understand, the more I think about it. But she has 100% control now, which is weird, so why not just make sure it's all legal and above board?

Thanks for all your replies!

Get some legal advice. My brother and I had it for my mum when she was diagnosed with dementia. Our solicitor had to draw up the papers with mum's consent. Mum was at the meeting and satisfied the solicitor she understood that if we registered the Enduring POA she would forfeit all legal rights to manage her own affairs. (There is temp POA to cover other events). When the time came to take over all that completely we needed a letter from her consultant to confirm she no longer had adequate mental capacity top take care of her finances etc. For us it made a big difference since we had loads of problems with mum's bank until we had registered POA.

One point to note, it seems that if the court of protection takes on someone's case, they are charging ridiculous sums of money to act of the person's behalf, and taking a long time to even release money for basic bills to be met.

The charges have to be met by the person whose affairs they are looking after.

I would seriously advise MIL to get the power of attorney sorted now. A little hassle now will save massive hassle in the long run.

If your husband's gran has dementia already, I doubt your MIL would get PoA. The person has to have capacity to give POA, the idea being that it would then come into effect when they were no longer capable of dealing with their own affairs.

If your MIL is doing all the financial transactions etc already, she can presumably access her (Nana's) funds, so there may be no benefit it getting anything official.

Alzheimer's Scotland would be good people to talk to about this.

In addition to AgentP - you can still get POA if a person is already diagnosed with dementia. My mum was already diagnosed with Alzheimers but was still deemed able to comprehend what a POA entailed by her psychiatrist and solicitor. If your husband's gran is beyond that stage AgentP is right but if she still has the capacity to understand it would still be possible.

It seemed to us (and to the solicitor) that attending the meeting and having the process explained very clearly and simply to mum made her feel relieved and reassured that she would be able to rely on the people who cared for her most to look after things as she would have chosen.