Wanting to take daughter on holiday, XP refusing

[DutchGirly]

I would be grateful for any advice.

I am the resident parent of my daughter of 2.5 years old. I want to go on holiday in Greece for 1 week but ex-partner is refusing to give permission.

He has no clear reasons except that he doesn't want to be separated from his daughter.

I need a break and I want to spend some quality time with my daugher.

Nothing official has been arranged between the two of us as I can't afford the legal fees although he is sometimes emotionally abusive and doesn't pay anything towards his daughter.

I would be most grateful for any advice.

My understanding is that if you have residence, you don't need his permission. I'll see if i can find the legal thing....

Ah saw you have not officialised anything. I can't see how he can stop you...?

If you are the resident parent and you don't have a contact order in place that would be affected by the holiday then there is nothing he can do to stop you, it's only a week after all. Does XP see DD every day?

Hi,

XP does see daughter almost every day, I have been very, very accommodating even though he is emotially abusive towards me but my daughter loves him.

He did go away himself for two week to go and see his family.

I still don't see how he can stop you, I say go and have a lovely time. Yo say that he is emotio nally abusive towards you, this is probably just another way for him to try and control you.

Found this:

Where there is no residence order in force, the consent of everybody with parental responsibility is needed before the child can be taken out of the UK, even for a holiday. If consent is refused, the parent who is looking after the child would have to apply to court for a specific issue order to give her/him permission. Anyone who does take a child under the age of 16 out of the UK without the appropriate consent may commit an offence under the Child Abduction Act 1984.

Some info here

The key thing would seem to be the lack of a residence order. Does he have parental responsibility?

he doesn't have the right to refuse anything. Just take her.

As for seeing her every day, it's very very important that the time he spends with you is absolutely minimal. So a quick "Here is DD. drop her off in 2 hours. goodbye" is ample

Portofino, thank you for the info. It seems I have to apply for residency via the courts, I will download the forms.

XP is emotionally abusive ie making snidy remarks, extreme jealousy, saying I am mad.

I have reported this to the police and I have help from Refuge but I think I will have to spend my savings for legal fees.

He does have parental responsibility as he is on the birth certificate.

My counsellor is convinced he is an emotional abuser, I am actually receiving counselling for this.

He has threatened to say I am mad and so an unfit mother which is a very cruel thing to say as I got sever PND as direct result of the disgusting behaviour of his family when little one is born.

Luckily I have plenty of medical report stating I am not mentally unstable but I do find his behaviour extremely hurtful.

Did he register the birth with you? As in physically going to the registry office...

try www.wikivorce.com.....the forums are good and can advise you

but i thought you could take child for up to 28 days without permission??

i dont have residency and kids go abroad regularly. ex doesnt know or care though,but see a solicitor,surely you dont need to go to court

who has the passport??

If he's not paying anything towards his daughter you could try the "Stop your objections or answer to the CSA" card.

iloveTIFFANY, the 28 days thing only applies if there is a residency order in place and it's the resident parent wanting to take the child out of the country. Where there is no residency order and both parents have PR then it is as Portofino wrote - permission of both parents is technically required.

It is true that a lot of people don't bother with this and, most of the time, get away with it. Particularly if you're going to another EU country as the immigration process is so simple. But it is a risk.

In such a circumstance a court would almost certainly grant the OP permission to take the child on holiday while also giving the ex a telling off for being such a knob.

I have both her passports (dual nationality).

XP has now given permission since I threatened with the courts, he is such a knob. I will ask him to put it in writing signed but I do have it on MSN

I am really starting to hate him, he is implying my request is unreasonable, for God's sake we're talking a week in Greece.

I have learnt though I have to make this formal as he is such a bully.

I answered this earlier on another forum. If there is no residence order you both have the same rights and consent isn't required by either parent to go abroad for a holiday of up to a month.

You mentioned the s1 Child Abduction Act 1984 Under s1 of the Act it is a criminal offence to take a child abroad without the appropriate consent but further down (s6, I think) it says it isn't an offence to take the children abroad if the consent has been unreasonably withheld. Witholding consent for a holiday abroad once or twice a year isn't reasonable. It would be different if abduction was a risk.

You might find this which is ­base­d on a schedule attached to a court judgment a useful guide to PR.

1. Decisions that could be taken independently and without any consultation or notification to the other parent.

• How the children are to spend their time during contact

• Personal care for the children

• Activities undertaken

• Religious and spiritual pursuits

• Continuance of medicine treatment prescribed by GP

2. Decisions where one parent would always need to inform the other parent of the decision, but did not need to consult or take the other parent's views into account.

o Medical Treatment in an emergency

o Booking holidays or to take the children abroad in contact time

o Planned visits to the GP and the reasons for this

3. Decisions that you would need to both inform and consult the other parent prior to making the decision.

• Schools the children are to attend, including admissions applications.

• Contact rotas in school holidays

• Planned medical and dental treatment

• Stopping medication prescribed for the children

• Attendance at school functions so they can be planned to avoid meetings wherever possible

• Age that children should be able to watch videos. ie videos recommended for children over 12 and 18.

www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/judgmentsfiles/j2253/father&mother.htm

Sorry, s6 is wrong. It should be s1(5)

"A person does not commit an offence under this section by doing anything without the consent of another person whose consent is required under the foregoing provisions if?

(a)he does it in the belief that the other person?

(i)has consented; or

(ii)would consent if he was aware of all the relevant circumstances; or

(b)he has taken all reasonable steps to communicate with the other person but has been unable to communicate with him; or

(c)the other person has unreasonably refused to consent,"

www.opsi.gov.uk/RevisedStatutes/Acts/ukpga/1984/cukpga_19840037_en_1#pt1-l1g1

STIDW, you're a star. Thank you for clearing that up.

Well, I have booked the holiday (got a really great deal) and I am so looking forward having a great time with little one.

good. was he going to deny your daughter the opportunity to ever have a holiday!!?

Of course he was.

He even asked me 'What about me? I can't go on a holiday!'

so his daughter should go without one! he sounds exactly like my x.....

ps, my kids were born in the uk and when we came to Ireland, their dad wouldn't give me the passports. I tried to get new ones but you needed his signature, I asked him to sign the forms he said no. eventually i had to get a solicitor to say that their sole residence was with me, and i got an affadavit signed to that effect, brought it with me to the police and they signed the passports. he delighted in making simple passports renewal a nightmare. but now they have irish passports and he's even more pissed off!!! but i didn't care too much either way! if he'd just signed the Effing form instead of thinking, hmmmm, I can push her buttons here! then he wouldn't have two children with irish passports. (that should be the least of his worries)