Where can he go for advice. His son wants to live with him?

[Dotgreen]

Had a call from DH's friend asking advice with referance to his son. Background story 13 years ago friend was in love and about to get married. Girlfriend pulled out of the marriage but, had their son. (he is now 12 yrs) So they never married Friend is named on the birth cert as Dad. Ex-girlfriend a difficult re contact with their son. She cannot cope as a single mum looking after kid and gives the lad to her mother to look after. She then finds out that Friend/Dad has a new girlfirend comes around to his house with a knife, threatens them. Then calls the police and says the opposite and has him arrested. Friend is not charged as there is no evidence against him. Very aggressive problems continue. Until friend marries new girlfirend have two children and supports his son and son's granny. Friend tries to include son in holidays and stepmum loves him to pieces (we are unoffical godparents) Life goes on with ex being difficult but son living with granny and seeing Dad.
Phone call last night that Mother of son is now making threats that she will kill her son verbally on the phone. Son want to live with Dad but not leave granny. (he is her carer now!) Police already informed. Mother this week has said he can live with dad but will not allow him full custody of his son (he has been there before) Should he take his son in on her terms (no legal papers) or go for a custody battle again. He fears that during the process of fighting for his son she will harm his son, his other two children and his wife. Where can he go for advice? What should be my advice to him? HELP!

He should go to a family lawyer they deal with this sort of thing as well as divorce. They will advise on whether to apply for a residency order (not custody anymore) and this can be joint/shared if more appropriate and will involve formal arrangements for contact with the other party. The lawyer will give him some idea of likelihood of success.

This poor child though - only 12 years old and has been fought over, left with his Granny and is now expected to be a carer. I would think any court would want to make sure his future well-being was made top priority.

Thank you. Now I need to get on with looking after my own family. I'll be back later to check for more posts.

This is a very worrying situation. Children needs stability in their settings.

It is a good thing the Police has been informed and the necessary information logged in their system for future reference.

With regards to the her proposals, if he is not concerned with the proposals that the son is to live with him, he can arrange to see a solicitor on a fix fee basis for that to be drafted into a Consent Order for the seal of the Court. This means that she cannot go back on her word and take the child from his residence (dad).

In any event, if he is afraid for the safety of his family the Police should be notified.

If he decides to apply to the Courts for a Residence Order, the Court determining any question with respect to the upbringing of the child, the Child's welfare and his best interest shall be the Court's paramount consideration.

Also, the Court shall have regards to the wishes and feelings of the child concerned considering his age and understanding.

With regards to the ex attending the family home, there are options available to him such as a Non-Molestation Order or Occupational Order to prevent her from attending the home and harrassing him or pestering him and the family.

Visit your local CAB or get an appointment with a solicitor to explore all options.

Best of luck

Childcarelaw Thank you for your expert advice. I'm a police officer but don't deal with CPT cases or this type of law. I do not have this information to hand. I have read your profile and will get my friend to contact your comapny on-line. As for the child's safety. The police have been informed. The lad has been always been told that his godparents are here to help. I'm going to see if he can come over for Saturday tea with spare clothes. He can leave here. We do not have a spare room but just a spare bed. He has been told if he is scared even in the middle of the night to grab a cab and get to a police station (can/will contact me even if he hasn't got the number) or get over to us and we will pay the cab.
I worry that his ex-girlfriend will make-up stories about me. BUT hey! I can deal with that. Again Thank you I will e-mail him as soon as my DH gets home and gives me the address.

Is my pleasure and, do contact us anytime if we can be of any assistance to you.

I am happy that you can deal with the criminal path of the case and I think the boy is in save hands, however child abuse in any form should not be tolerated in our society.

Best of luck
bit.ly/aEfETj