Exh reduced maintenance to pay the school fees himself, he didn't and now the bailiffs are after me.

[Mongolia]

My ex was alwaays a very disorganised person, so when we split, he agreed to pay a certain quantity of money which included the costs for private school fees. We also agreed on a fixed schedule of when DS was going to be with him, and I increased my hours at work using that time in order to keep my head about water.

Then he lowered the maintenance as he wanted to pay the fees himself. And we started to get in arrears. He didn't keep to his part of the arrangement regarding the care of DS, meaning I had to ask permissions at work and time off to care for DS on the time exh was meant to do it. Eventually, that led to loosing my job.

Seeing how irresponsible he was, I insisted in moving DS to a state school, but there were still some monies owed to the school. Exh said he would pay them, but didn't.

The school has been sending remitance advices to my house (former marital home), I have contacted the school and insisted in them sending the remittances to him. I have no idea if they do, as exh and I are not talking to each other since the police got involved after he became particularly aggressive.

I have received another remittance from the school today with a post it attached to it saying:

"X,
Solicitors are instructed w/c 4/1/2010 Don't bother sending the statement out, bailiffs will recover money due. J"

Problem is, I have spent all my savings in solicitor fees in the divorce process (still on going), owe several thousands of pounds already to my solicitor. I have lost my job and with that my income. I depend highly in CB and CTC to survive, and even with that, I'm getting severely in debt as the child maintenance I'm getting is enough for me not to be considered for income support, but only covers less than 50% of house associated expenses.

To explain how bad the situation is, I have been moving from one friend's house to another over the last months as my boiler was not working. Even buying food is a struggle.

He on the other hand, keeps 2 houses, is very well known
in the social scene, has a company worth millions, according to the last information provided to court he regularly spend £700 a month in food, £300 of them in wine and delicatessen stuff.

So... obviously, he can pay, but he won't as this debt (£800) is part of "his case" in which he claims he can not support us and want to sell the house we live in.

I have been looking for jobs and I have just secured an interview with a financial company, but given the nature of it, my application will be dismissed if I have "credit problems"

So... he doesn't pay and still is &&)&*)&&))))&) me left, right and centre. I could obviously contact my solicitor but that will increase my debt.

What can I do?

Oh, poor you, I'm so sorry your shitty ex has dropped you and ds in it.

Could you try CAB? Not sure what the ettiquette is if you have your own solicitor, but must be worth a try (maybe you could explain that you can no longer afford to pay the solicitor)?

I would imagine - but am not an expert - that if the debt is in his name, they can't go after you for it.

The debt is in both names, but the address under which our account is registered is mine.

I have given them his address, explained the situation. But I'm still getting this. Obviously, I can wait allow them to take the very few things of value I have in the house (this computer and I don't know what else, all the house is IKEA and we don't even have expensive electronics)

Can only suggest CAB then. Presumably these are not court-appointed bailiffs, i.e. they don't have powers to enter your home? So if they turn up, keep the door tight shut. Whatever they say do not let them in.

No advice just poor you . What a bastard.

Will be queuing at CAB next week then...

Last time in CAB, I had the bad luck that the voluntary who was advising had very little knowledge of family issues on divorce, the only thing he did was to give me a list of solicitors to ask for a first 1/2 hr free. Hopefully I would get someone more informed this time :-(

Have thought a little bit more of it.

I think the post it mentioned below is a disgrace. And also the behaviour of my ex, but I can't allow him to ruin my credit record or risk my car being taken because the sod think he is untouchable.

So, I will arrange a meeting with school accountant, take all my court papers where he is claiming himself as responsible for that debt. Will tell them we have no communication between us because the police suggested an injunction order to protect me from his chaotic behaviour, that I have not talked to him in months and that he doesn't pick up the phone even in the events of emergencies related to his son.

Will also present them, again, with his address, his company card showing he is the b.... Chief Executive Officer and therefore has enough to pay them.

If they don't bulge and decide to take it on him, I will concede defeat and ask them to split the debit between the two and ask to pay my half in installments as I can't certainly not afford it otherwise.

Is this a good idea?, am I bonkers? Does anybody has any suggestion? I am also wondering if it would be better to send it in a letter so I can have proof that such conversation happened. As I passed exh's details to the accountant months ago but I'm not sure they are sending him the bills yet.. IF this is a good idea, can anybody help me with the wording l e a s e]

that thing at the end was a please

TIA

bump?

This is a horrible position but resolvable. It seems to me there are two very important things you need to do.

1. Do a letter to the school explaining your financial position and that matrimonial proceedings are ongoing. Ask them if they have indeed instructed a solicitor and get the details and send a copy to the solicitor. I do not understand the basis on which bailiffs can be sent round at this stage. You should ask them what the basis is. There would need to be a court order and it is nowhere near that stage. Make an offer to pay in instalments and tell them you will keep them informed as to the progress of your matrimonial claim. Only offer what you can truly afford and this may be very little. Offer to keep this underreview. Stick to the payments. They will know they would not get any more if they took it to court. (They would probably go for a charge on your house and only obtain the money once the house is sold).

1. You send a copy of this letter to yuor solicitor and ensure the claim for the fees is added to your claim against your (ex)husband. You are both jointly and severally liable for the debt it seems, this means the school can chase either or both of you.

The debt is payable and the school is entitled to chase for payment. You need to acknowledge that and let them know that the best way of obtaining the money is to work with you. If your (ex) husband is financially strong then it is just a case of organisation.

This will only strenghen your financial legal case against you. You are obviously an intelligent, capable woman going through sh*t. Don't let him control you and get your head up and start sorting this.

You must engage with your solicitor. Your solicitor could have given you this brief and simple advice. If you can't afford him/her raise this and ask how you are going to fund your case. You can get litigation loans or you may be eligible for public funding.

This is all highly sortable. Make a plan and good luck!

`Sorry Labra, didin't see your message until today.

Thank for the advice, the solicior has been involved and hopefully the school will put his attention where they should from now on.

But please, could you tell me more about litigation loans? Although I qualify for legal aid, I don't want to change my solicitor right now (firm doesn't do legal aid and the case is complex and advanced as to pass it to a new solicitor at this stage)