seperating and children

[pinkkoala]

my husband and i are going through a bad patch, i want to seperate, sell the house take 50% equity and have residence of our 5yr old dd.

the house is on the market, he keeps saying he is going to take it off. He can't take extra on the mortage to buy me out as his credit score has gone down. We have joint mortage.

he is also threatening to take our dd away from me if we divorce saying the courts will grant him residence, i am devasted and am a bit scared to try.

basically i need some legal advice if there is anyone there who can advise.

i would move to my parents for a while and take dd as i have nowhere else to go, i am a sahm so have no earnings, he works full time.

i konw our dd would devasted if she wasn't living with me as every time he says it she gets sooo upset.

anybody know how i stand

you have primary care of dd so the court would be in favour of keeping the status quo and giving dh reasonable contact. Unless you have done something really bad, ie abused her, then they will not take her away from you. divorce proceedings are dealt with separate, within divorce proceedings you can issue ancillary relief if he is being unco-operative and even force him to sell the house by order of the court.

you may be able to apply for an occupation order ordering him to move out but pay the mortgage.

dh may be concerned as you may be entitled to more than 50% equity in the house as you will have dd also you may be able to claim maintenance for yourself from him as well as for dd.

there are many options available to you and if i was you i would go and see a solicitor, as a sahm you probably will get legal aid, in any event most do half an hour free initial appointments.

i have told him that i don't want to stay in the house, i would like to sell it and move nearer my family which would enable me to go back to work and have child care from parents when she isn't at school.

i thought that the equity would be split 50/50.

i have never done anything bad to my dd, i love her more than anything. My husband is the one who puts words in her mouth and gets her to say things via him if you see what i mean.
she has now said that she doesn't know what to say anymore, that is sad as he has done this.

You're likely to get significantly more than 50% equity, based on the fact that you'll have, at the absolute minimum, shared residence (and I'd bet on you getting sole residence in the circs) and that you aren't earning.

Having said that, as your dd is at school, the court would normally expect you to at least be doing some p/t work which will mean, if you work more than 16 hours per week, you'll get tax credits on top.

You really need to get a solicitor on board as soon as possible and certainly before you commit to doing anything with the house.

Try www.resolution.org.uk to find a local family specialist.

Also see whether you qualify for public funding (you won't if your half of the equity is more than £100k) by going to the legal services commision website and then to the Legal Help Eligibility Calculator.