Advice re contact order

[wirral]

I've also posted this in Lone Parents so I apologise if I am repeating myself.

Does anyone have any advice? My ex currently sees our 10 year old daughter in line with a contact order. In addition to that he also has her when I occasionally work away from home.

Recently he has emailed me asking for more contact with her. I think some of his proposal is ok and the other untenable. I worry that if I agree to part of it then he will be constantly requesting more and more contact. Am I setting a precedent if I agree now? What happens in a few months time if he asks for more?

Thanks

At age ten I would take the lead of your daughter. What does she want?

It's pretty common ime for contact arrangements to change over time. I'd suggest you email him back to counter offer and say that you aren't able to compromise any more at this time because of x,y or z (though only say this if you really can't, and if your daughter doesn't want you to.)

Agree with Tiffany, you need to talk to your dd first to see what she'd like to do.

As you have an order, you don't need me to tell you what a faff court proceedings are and you should certainly try a compromise rather than drag the whole thing back before the district judge.

If you can't agree, you can still go to mediation even though there's an order.

If the arrangements are changed, I'd suggest you and your ex write a joint document describing exactly how you've agreed to deviate from the order, eg" Paragraph 2 be changed to include Wednesdays from 3.30 to 7.30 in addition to alternate weekends" or whatever, to hopefully avoid misunderstandings and more conflict.

Thanks both. I think daughter will willingly spend more time with her Dad. I do think that he will agree to a compromise but I do hate the idea of having this argument all the time. The court order was supposed to stop all this haggling.

He honestly does have a lot of contact at the moment - he works shifts so daughter and I have to sort out lives out around his work pattern.

Thanks again

totally agree with mumblechum. As usual

I think it ought to be 50/50 as a start. If he is wanting more than that then may be object unless he has good reasons and she wants it.