What legally constitutes "being married"

[OvertheBrush]

My partner and I have been together for 16 years. We've never got married and it hasn't ever been an issue for us except for now. Rather embarassingly when I was asked by someone who I know to be old-fashioned and religious whether we were married, I kind of insinuated that we were (God strike me down!!) It got me thinking as to what actually constitutes "being married". I know there is a legal aspect but don't exactly know how it works.

Now is there anyway you can have a ceremony with say a humanist/spiritual person and feel that you are married without actually ever going so far as to get a marriage certificate? If you have a pagan ceremony for example what is the next step that you would take to make it legal - do you have to go through a registry-office "ceremony" as such? Do you get the marriage certificate on the same day - how much do you pay for it? Do you present your ID on the day or do you have to do something in advance?

And, IF we decided we did want to get married, just how quickly can you do it and how much does it cost (and I am not talking for the dress and cake here!)

I did a quick Google but soon lost the will to live and thought I'd ask on here before attemtping a more thorough google when the kids have gone to bed

Cost - about £100
Yes would need the registry office to be legally married. Need to arrange about 4 weeks ahead unless you get a special licence, i think.

No id needed.

We had a humanist ceremony for the 'wedding' but did the bare minimum for legalities 2 days beforehand, no rings, in jeans, 2 witnesses.

being married is just that. being married.

british registry offices will accept a legal marriage document from any part of the world, as long as you have been married according to the laws of that land. what ever they are. even if its a tribal ceremony from the deepest part of some rainforest, as long as its done legally, it counts.
a muslim marriage certificate, done according to the laws of islam, but performed in a non appropriate building in england, does not count as a marriage, because it isnt carried out according to the laws of england, but exactly the same marriage carried out in a muslim country will be counted because it follows the laws of the land.

Yes, to be legally married you have to get the certificate.

DH and I did this summer about as quickly and as cheaply as you can!

1. You arrange an appointment at the local register office to give 'notice'. At this point you pay (I think) £30 each. The 'notice' then goes on the notice board for two weeks.

1. When 2 weeks is up, you then collect your notice and go and get married in a register office (or wherever you want that has a license to perform civil ceremonies).

1. The marriage ceremony - they give you suggested wording. With ours, the wording in bold was legally required, the other stuff was just a suggestion. I crossed out everything that wasn't in bold to make it as short as possible. I don't exaggerate when I say we were out of the register office in about 3 minutes! From memory, I think you pay £50 on the day.

And that's as quickly and as cheaply as possible! We then went to a bar and got drunk.

You have to give notice before at the registy office then go back within a certain timeframe. I think I took my passport when I gave notice but not on the day. We had a religious wedding in a Catholic church with 2 witnesses and a big wedding in a hotel.
If you want to get married in an approved venue, it costs more because the registrar has to travel.

Sorry, should have added, we had to take ID when we went to give notice at the register office.

registered ministers of recognised faiths can perform legal marriages and registrars.

As to pagan marriages I'm not sure.

You have to give notice of intent to marry though if e.g. you are getting married at a CofE Church they can handle that for you. And I can't remember how long the notice period is - I think approx 2-3 weeks. I think that's when you need to provide your ID.

A registry office wedding can cost under £100.

The best way to find out is to contact the registry office of your local council who can talk you through it (they may have a web site with the details on). They also often carry a list of registered premises where marriages can be held and can give you advice on who can hold one.

Basically a legal marriage is one recognised by the government so carried out by someone registered as being able to perform marriage in this country or carried out in a country (according to their laws) recognised as having legal marriages over here.

Thanks everyone for your speedy responses and some speedy marriage ceremonies too! I rather like the idea of being in and out in 3 minutes!

Another thing is the issue of the married name. Do you have to do anything special if you DON'T wish to take the husband's name. My kids have his name (it sounds nicer!) but I want to keep mine. Does the marriage certificate automatically convert you to a "Mrs Husband's name"? or is it just a record of the legal ceremony?

No, the certificate is just in your normal name and tbh it's such a faff getting things changed over I'm surprised more people don't stick with their "maiden name".

I got half way with the namechanging and then lost interest which means I have to remember what my name is depending what ID I'm using

You can also have a legally-binding Humanist wedding in Scotland.

But your local registrar is probably the least hassle.

Others have outlined what you need to do to legally be married, but I think the more important point is what difference it makes to your legal status - it does have major implications for e.g. for inheritance law, what happens to shared assets if you split up, etc etc. I think you need to find out more about that so that you a) understand your current legal position and how it would change on marriage and b)can then make an informed decision about whether you want to be married.
Do you have children?

overthebrush, No offence but you're having a laugh here, aren't you? How can you NOT know what it is to be legally married?
Basically, proof of marriage is usually provided by way of a marriage certificate (surprise surprise).
Living with someone, having 5 children with them and a mortgage is NOT enough for you to be considered married to them (the only time in this country that you CAN be considered married is if it was not physically possible for you to do so but this would only apply in extreme- and I do mean EXTREME circumstances- for example a couple who wished to marry while held in a prisoner-of-war camp or something like that and, obviously, they would both have to agree that they wished to be married but owing to averse circumstances couldn't. Basically, this won't wash if you live 5 minutes away from a Register Office.)because marriage is a legal construct that requires signatures and certificates and witnesses and stuff like that.
Seriously, I am stunned by this question.

If you want to marry, follow the advice given here- it is sound.

marantha - you would be surprised by the number of people who still believe 'common law' husband and wife exists, and that after living together for a set period of time equals the same rights as having gone and got married, there was a big government back campaign about 3-4 years ago to highlight this misconception.

bbc report from 2004 highlighting the misconception

In Scotland (as opposed to England and Wales) a humanist (or, I think, pagan) ceremony can be a legal ceremony and you don't need the register office bit -- but you'll still get and need a certificate afterwards.

To be married in a registry office or elsewhere by a registrar, I think you have to show them your birth certificate.
I know I did, when we got married. I had to send away for a replacement certificate as I had lost mine the year before at Glastonbury. long with all my money and DH's ( I was keeping it safe for him)

We had a pagan wedding - nipped along to the registry office in the morning to do the form filling/legal bit, then had a ceremony with a pagan priestess in a nice place in the afternoon.

Katz, I understand that there is a misconception, but if a person sits down and really thinks about the issue, it is sensible that the couple have to make some kind of a written statement that they wish to be considered- dreadful word- a "unit" because if they do not, the outside world cannot reasonably decide that they are a unit for them. How can anyone else possibly know?
I believe that the law commission are now involving themselves in the issue of cohabitee rights which involves giving cohabitees some of the rights of the married. The problem of such a proposal being made law is that not all cohabitees want to be regarded as married. Indeed, it can be argued that to class someone as being "married" when they have not actually gotten married is taking away their freedom of choice as regards their marital status.

Marriage is a legal undertaking - which is why there are proscribed wordings that has to be said and witnessed. It's a legally binding contract.

Reading all this made me wonder. If you're British, and get married abroad, do you have to do anything in the UK or are you just accepted as legally married? Sorry if this is a daft question...

It is not hard at all to change your name. Marriage certificate and some forms.

Common-law no longer exists.

OP- why didn't you just say you weren't married?