Mesher order ending - do I still have exclusive occupation rights whilst house is being sold?

[channellinginnercalm]

Name changed for for this. V acrimonious divorce several years ago which resulted in a mesher order being awarded in my favour by our judge at the final hearing. The consent order included a clause ‘ the respondent shall be entitled to occupy the property to the exclusion of the applicant until the
determining event’. I have covered the mortgage and all bills since. That event has now occurred so the house needs to be sold which I am fine with. My concern is that there is a history of abusive behaviour from my ex towards me and I literally feel sick at the idea of being in his company, let alone him being in my private space. I know it’s a stress response after everything he has put me through. He remains extremely angry and hostile, determined to ‘punish’ me for what he sees as an unfair divorce outcome. He has form for vexatious litigation/ intentionally trying to increase my need for legal advice (& therefore adding to legal costs which I just can’t afford). and has already mentioned enforcement orders and the like, merely days after the trigger event. He is also very controlling so the access issue is very much a power play and to check up on me. My question is does he have any right to enter the property without my agreement, including for valuations or viewings? If so, what is the position regarding access given that the order provides for joint conduct of sale but no real detail within that. I would be so grateful for any insights from anyone knowledgeable about this.

No legal knowledge but in the event of confrontation do you have a safe place/back up plan?

Surely your divorce solicitor can clarify this for you?

I would say that the trigger event is for the house to be sold and for him to get part of the sale proceeds not for him to recover old rights of entry and use of the property.

i would say get the house valued by 3-4 agents and let him send one if he wishes. He doesn’t have to come with them.

@CostcoFanofThreeI think I will have to ask a family member or friend to be with me and there will be an estate agent there. I think that’s the best I can hope for. It’s such a strong visceral reaction to any contact at all with him, let alone in person in my private space. I haven’t been able to sleep thinking about it. I’m pretty tough but also dealing with other fairly big life ‘things’ at present so it just feels very overwhelming/ scary.

If the event has occurred then my guess is you do not now have the right to sole occupancy. Perhaps there was an expectancy for you to sell the property in anticipation of the event?

@KittyCorncrakeI am of course seeking advice but given the hourly rate is about two days pay and money I cannot afford I was hoping to see if anyone had navigated a similar situation or if there was someone with legal knowledge who could give me some insights. I can’t be the first person in this position.

@ByQuaintAzureWaspno - I think the order is at least v clear that there was no expectation of sale before the trigger. Believe me I actually want to sell and cut this final tie with him.

OP, can you start the process of selling, then make him aware, it looks like you are complying then and will keep him off your back?

Send something like, Ex, I've got agents coming round this week, once the valuations have come in, I'll list with the one I think it most realistic so we can both move on as quickly as we can. Will keep you in the loop.

Can you change the locks?

That sounds really stressful OP, as if selling and moving isn't stressful enough. I haven't contacted this org, but they look like they might help? Or at least signpost you to who can help. https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk

A very quick question, I have the same clause in my consent order (selling in 2028) and I am trying to stop my ex from turning up on the doorstep when he feels like it. Did you find that you were able to stop your ex from coming to the house at all since it was sealed?

Thank you all. It is ridiculously stressful. Some of your suggestions would be perfect for anyone more reasonable. However I’ve been bombarded with angry emails from him in the last 24 hours, with crazy demands like not even speaking to a third party/ agent without his participation. He’s now contacted all the agents locally to see if I’ve been in touch with them so he is now aware I have valuations booked (with the ones he proposed!) and instead of acknowledging that I’m actively engaging with the process he is furious about not being involved in these initial v basic communications - literally just arranging a time. All agents aware that it is a joint sale and he will be copied in on everything pertinent to the valuation and sale. Honestly I think this all boils down to him wanting access to the house and wanting sole conduct of sale so he has full control. He has previously said he intends to ‘destroy me’. He has also copied in our adult children to his latest email - he says to discredit me but that doesn’t worry me as they know all too well what he is like and he has no relationship with them as he’s basically stuffed that up. I just want it all to stop so I can get on with life.

Can you get a barring order on him till the sale goes through?

You may want to get a solicitor involved… he needs to stop harassing you. He can get agents to do valuations, you both can decide which price and agent to use, and then if us a waiting time until an offer comes and then, it can only be accepted by both of you.

To be honest, as stressed as you are you have the upper hand here. He has no right to access the house just because he feels like it, he doesn’t live there and as an occupier you have rights. You can also point out the negatives to prospective buyers, me a mess if the house, etc if you want to be a arse or need to delay the sale while you find your feet.

If he is pestering by phone, just tell him he needs to communicate by email and block him. If he is harassing you “in writing” just take it to the police and they will go and have a word with him.

@GrandmasCatthank you so much for your replies, especially with regard to rights of occupancy. It doesn’t feel like I have the upper hand with him threatening enforcement, pursuit of sole conduct of sale and costs but I have to hope that if he did go as far as court (v likely in his case) they would think this is all OTT given the trigger has literally only just happened, I’ve said I’m happy to engage and I’m seeking valuations using his preferred agents whilst juggling a stressful job and other commitments. It sounds like you might have some professional experience with this? Anyway I’m a bit calmer now so will dig deep and do an emotionless, order focused reply and not get drawn into his long list of demands and arbitrary deadlines. Hoping to hear back from my solicitor next week but can’t afford much more than the initial enquiry. Thank you again.

@BrummyhelppleaseI wish but I highly doubt it.

Solicitor here, what exactly does the rest of the clause say? Generally yes you would still have exclusive occupation of the house until completion - at least this is how I would draft the order and how the standard version is drafted.

I would get a non mol order if you can? I would also change the locks (because you lost your keys) and don’t tell him.