Lives with order

[cadburyegg]

Split for 5 years, divorced over 2 years now, all done and dusted. Before now we have had an informal arrangement in place for the children. I’ve always encouraged him to see them as much as possible but he is unreliable with contact and I don’t receive any CM currently (he is also unreliable at work as far as I can tell). I know no court order will make him step up or show up when he doesn’t want to. But I want to be able to take the children on holiday to Spain (for example) for a week without having to ask permission, it is ridiculous that I have to ask his permission when he has no sense of responsibility towards them.

However, is this going to take the little flexibility I have away. Atm when he shows up he has the kids EOW plus Monday nights, and school holidays if he feels like it. is such an order going to mean I cannot take the children on holiday if it falls on a Monday for example.

Would be interested to hear pros and cons and advice

Personally when you see him next I’d be inclined to get him to sign a few blank permission slips in advance and then you can add the details in after and just send him the completed forms once you have booked

(i think it’s also bloody ridiculous that someone doing all the parenting (I do 100%) still has to ask permission to take kids on holidays)

How old are the DC? Like the OP, mine lived with me full time and I encouraged them to see their father, which happened sometimes but by no means regularly. When they were teenagers, DP and I took them to Spain, and it never crossed my mind to ask for permission!

A Child Arrangements Order can specify that your children live with you without setting down any fixed contact arrangements, so it won't necessarily take away any flexibility.

These threads always attract posters saying that they took their children abroad without any problems. The legal position is that it is a criminal offence to take your children out of the country unless you have either the consent of everyone with PR or a court order. You may not encounter any problems if you don't bother with this, but you may be refused boarding at the airport or refused entry at your destination.

I’m sure you only need consent when you go out the country for over a month if it’s only a week I’m sure your ok to take them but don’t quote me 100% on it

This is wrong. If OP had a CAO naming her as someone with whom her children live, she could take them out of the country for up to one month without needing anyone's consent. As there is no order in place, she needs his consent before taking them out of the country even if it is only for a day.

What's the issue with getting his consent - does he give you a hard time over it? Because if not, it's absolutely not worth going to court over.