Advice on CAFCASS process and legal matters

[Daisychainmay]

I’m looking for some advice from anyone with experience of family court or CAFCASS.
I am the mother of a six-year-old boy who has lived with his father since 2022 following a serious mental health crisis on my part. I have worked hard on my recovery and my son and I continue to have a very close, loving bond when we see each other.
We recently had a court hearing where it was decided that there will be no face-to-face contact for 14 weeks while CAFCASS has time to speak to my son and gather his views. I have been granted two FaceTime calls per week through a third party, as his father will not facilitate contact directly.
I am struggling to understand how such a long period without seeing his mother is considered to be in his best interests, especially when he tells me he misses me and wants to be with me.
I am looking for advice on:

• whether this is a normal interim arrangement,
• how I can best support my son during this time,
• and what I can do before the next hearing to demonstrate my commitment to maintaining our relationship.

Please be kind. This has been an incredibly painful journey and I am simply trying to understand the process and do the best for my son.

How often have you been seeing him OP?

14 weeks is towards the longer end of normal but is still normal, their priority is gathering enough information to be able to make a decision in the child’s best interests.

All you can do really is of course ensure you are available and on time for all scheduled calls, avoid discussing court, don’t ask him about his meetings, continue engaging with any support you have in place for your own mental health, depending on the issues perhaps a parenting course may be helpful? You may also be able to send things outside of the calls, letters? Even if they cannot be given in real time it shows a commitment.

At only 6 years old and when he has been with his dad since 2022, his opinion on where he wants to live does not hold weight in the decision making really.

Hi @Daisychainmay, family solicitor here.

I'm sorry to hear about this. Responding to your queries:

1. Was your son having face-to-face contact with you before the most recent hearing? If not, it's quite normal to maintain the status quo whilst Cafcass carry out the s7 report. 14 weeks is a reasonable time frame (at my court it is closer to 16 weeks for a s7 report).
2. Just focus on asking about him and remaining child focused. Avoid involving him in adult matters or saying things like 'I will see you in X weeks' etc.
3. As above. You could also seek dad's agreement to sending him gifts/letters.

I should add some further context, as I realise my original post was very brief.

I had been seeing my son consistently in a contact centre for two years. I attended those sessions and worked hard to progress contact. Eventually, contact progressed to him staying overnight in March this year after the threat of court arose, which felt like a very positive step forward.

Following one of those stays, I raised concerns after noticing bruising on my son and comments he made to me about being slapped by his father. I reported my concerns. Shortly afterwards, there was an incident in my garden where his father became physical with me, and since then I have not seen my son in person.

This is why the current 14-week period without face-to-face contact is so difficult for me. I understand the court has to gather information and make decisions based on my son’s best interests, but it is painful because we had maintained a loving relationship through years of supervised contact and had only recently progressed to overnight stays.

I know some have asked whether I have been consistent, and that is something I wanted to clarify. I have not simply disappeared from his life; I have spent the last two years attending contact and trying to rebuild our relationship.

I think it's really poor that the court hasn't ordered any kind of interim face-to-face contact, if you were having as much as overnight contact in March. Did you have legal representation at the last hearing?

Usually the status quo would be preserved whilst Cafcass are preparing the s7, which in your case I'd expect to be at least some form of direct contact given you were having this until March. I'm very surprised it is not even taking place in a contact centre.

Thank you for your reply. This is actually what I have been struggling to understand.

I had two years of consistent contact in a contact centre, and earlier this year contact had progressed to overnight stays at my home. Following concerns I raised regarding bruising on my son and comments he made, everything deteriorated and I have not had any face-to-face contact since April, his birthday was in May.

At the recent hearing, the court ordered two FaceTime calls per week through a third party while CAFCASS prepares the section 7 report and speaks to my son. The next hearing is listed for 22 September.

I was legally represented at the hearing through legal aid, as my son’s father did assault me numerous times so I reached the requirements. I did ask the CAFCASS officer why it was considered in my son’s best interests not to have any direct contact with me during this period, given our bond and previous contact, but I did not feel I received a clear answer. i told her mothers need their sons, she responded “and their fathers” as if i do not understand this.

I appreciate the court has to make decisions based on all the information available and my son’s welfare, but I am struggling with the fact that there has been such a significant reduction from overnight contact to no face-to-face contact at all.

Ive also called social services on numerous occasions before about my son commenting he’s being hit, eventually his father admits this - though still yet nothing is done. 14 weeks left until i might even catch a glimpse of my son again.

but I did not feel I received a clear answer
What did they actually say?

Safeguarding will be their priority so it sounds they have reasons to be concerned about his safety when with you. You mentioned an incident and related that you raised safeguarding concerns for your child when he is with his dad. It therefore doesn't make much sense that social services would have deemed that your child was safe with their dad but not you.

It sounds that there is more to it all. Whatever the circumstances, always remember that you need to put your feelings aside and work with the authorities.

I completely understand why safeguarding has to be the priority, and I have never disputed that.
I am not comfortable discussing the full details of my past mental health crisis online, but I have always accepted that at that time I put my son in a vulnerable position. I was severely unwell with major depression, was admitted to hospital, and I take full responsibility for that.
What I would say is that one moment in 2022 does not define the parent I am today. Since then, I have engaged intensively with therapy, continue to attend therapy regularly, and have worked very hard to understand my mental health and ensure I can be the safest and most stable parent possible for my son.
At the time, the authorities considered it in my son’s best interests to live with his father, and I accepted that decision. Over the years, however, I have developed concerns about my son’s emotional wellbeing and have raised those concerns through the right channels.
My main focus has always been, and continues to be, my son feeling safe, loved and secure. That is also why the complete cessation of face-to-face contact after progressing to overnight stays has been so difficult for me to understand.

These interim arrangements are more common than they feel, especially at the stage where CAFCASS is asked to gather independent evidence (often for a Section 7 report).
A 14-week pause in direct contact doesn’t automatically reflect a judgment about your role as a parent. In many cases, the court’s priority is to give CAFCASS space to assess the child’s views and emotional response without ongoing external pressure or conflict between parents influencing that process. It can feel disproportionate from a parent’s perspective, but it’s usually framed around evidence-gathering rather than restricting attachment.
What tends to matter most in practice:
Maintaining consistency in indirect contact. Short, predictable FaceTime calls are usually better than emotionally intense or irregular contact during this stage.
Avoiding putting your child in the middle of explanations or adult concerns. The focus should stay on routine, reassurance, and normal conversation.
Keeping a clear record of engagement and the child’s response to contact. CAFCASS reports often rely on patterns over time rather than isolated moments.
Demonstrating sustained stability in your own circumstances. That includes ongoing recovery work, support networks, and practical routines that show reliability.
Preparing for the next hearing with a structured statement focused on the child’s needs, your understanding of any past concerns, and how you propose contact should progress moving forward.
If you want legal support with CAFCASS reports or preparation for the next stage, you can check here: legal support services

You need to change your approach OP. You can’t keep calling social services on your ex. It will come across to decision makers like you are being vengeful regardless of the truth. With a MH history including hospitalisation it’s going to make it look like you are delusional or fabricating allegations depending on the inherent biases of the social worker and cafcass worker. Your job is to be unassuming. Unobtrusive. Cooperative. Balanced. That’s how you show them you are well and suitable to get more access to your child. Everything is based on risk and right now you need to show that you are stable and can put your child first not hurl accusations at your ex or keep going over how you feel he treated you.

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the perspective, and I do understand the point you are making.
I just wanted to clarify that I have only made one referral to social services regarding my son’s father, and it was because I had a genuine concern for my son’s welfare based on things I had observed and been told. As a mother, it was an incredibly difficult position to be in, and I felt I had a responsibility to raise it through the appropriate channels rather than ignore it.
That said, I do hear what people are saying about my approach. I know that my focus now needs to be on demonstrating stability, consistency, and the ability to work with professionals, even when I feel frightened and powerless.
This whole situation has been incredibly painful, and the feeling of helplessness is hard to describe. However, I am taking on board the advice given here and trying to approach the next stage in the most constructive way possible for my son.