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Should long-term unmarried couples have the same rights as married couples?

87 replies

EverymanJustice · Yesterday 12:15

I was reading that the government is looking at giving more legal rights to unmarried couples who live together for years or have children together.
Do you think that's a good idea?
If a couple have lived together for 10 or 20 years and built a life together, should they have similar rights to a married couple if they separate?
Or should marriage remain different?

OP posts:
ValenciaOrangeJawline · Yesterday 19:33

BigThelma · Yesterday 17:37

But my house is owned by me. It's all I have in my name. I thought I might be able to keep it that way, irrespective of my private life, by choosing y'know NOT to get married (again).

My ExH got the pension, the one that I helped him build up by taking a career hit for the children that he barely bothers with.

Edited

I don’t disagree at all. I was simply responding to the poster I quoted about her situation and how she can protect her assets for her children herself, without having to rely on a surviving spouse to do the sensible thing.

ValenciaOrangeJawline · Yesterday 19:36

BigThelma · Yesterday 19:13

Absolute bloody nightmare. Imagine thinking you'd agreed to an opt-out and then the other party unilaterally withdrawing their consent to it.

This will turn relationship break-ups into divorces.

This also inteferes with my human right to a private life. It is state interference.

…and I totally agree with this.

If people want the financial protection of marriage or civil partnership they should have to opt in. People making stupid choices is a concern (unmarried SAHM for instance) but the answer to that is education.

ValenciaOrangeJawline · Yesterday 19:43

Monty36 · Yesterday 12:53

An awful lot of people cohabit. Of all ages these days. And a variety of circumstances. If people for whatever reason choose to do so but are in a long term loving relationship then they should have rights to leave assets to each other, to be able to be considered next of kin etc.
Many are in relationships that last longer than many marriages.

But they do already? IHT is an issue for some, but not many. Next of kin isn’t a legal term. You can nominate anyone as POA or add them as “NOK” for hospital purposes.

Cerealcomplainer · Yesterday 19:50

Monty36 · Yesterday 19:09

Which is the whole point of a consultation. To get feedback. And to then make changes.

Well call me cynical but I don't think the whole point of this consultation is to get feedback. I think one of the main points of having this consultation is so they can say they have had a consultation.

It does not make it easy to say that you disagree with the whole proposition. There is no easy 'do you agree that the current law on co-habitation needs changing' question.

And I also think that one of the benefits to the government from all of this is that the financially weaker party will benefit. Which spreads money around and presumably may help lower the benefits bill. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I also think some of the main beneficiaries will be lawyers, as a whole load more people need to take things to court.

MrsLFii · Yesterday 19:53

It’s mad to me that anyone thinks this is a good idea. Marriage is an active decision that a couple makes to become legally and financially joined (and of course, all that comes with marriage!) and, as has been said, it seems bonkers to basically override anyone’s free will and force them together legally. There’s any number of reasons to remain unmarried and so many reasons to get married, but there isn’t a right or a wrong, or a one size fits all!

Strangesally20 · Yesterday 20:04

No I don’t think so. For all the reasons mentioned already on this thread, mostly to do with inheritance and protecting their children. If people have been together for 20+ years and haven’t got married I would assume they have done that for a reason and have thought about it carefully. I don’t believe legal contracts should be forced upon them.

the only situation that gives me pause is sadly something I see fairly regularly. One half of a happily unmarried couple ends us incapacitated with us in ICU and is unable to advocate their wishes. Then comes an estranged child who refuses entry to the patients partner or any information to be given to them because of some family feud. You then have a loving long term partner heartbroken not knowing if their partner is alive or dead or dying and we’re not allowed to tell them because they aren’t next of kin. It’s heartbreaking but this is obviously not common and not a reason to override people’s legal rights but it is something for unmarried people to think about!

IonianNerveGrip · Yesterday 20:11

Strangesally20 · Yesterday 20:04

No I don’t think so. For all the reasons mentioned already on this thread, mostly to do with inheritance and protecting their children. If people have been together for 20+ years and haven’t got married I would assume they have done that for a reason and have thought about it carefully. I don’t believe legal contracts should be forced upon them.

the only situation that gives me pause is sadly something I see fairly regularly. One half of a happily unmarried couple ends us incapacitated with us in ICU and is unable to advocate their wishes. Then comes an estranged child who refuses entry to the patients partner or any information to be given to them because of some family feud. You then have a loving long term partner heartbroken not knowing if their partner is alive or dead or dying and we’re not allowed to tell them because they aren’t next of kin. It’s heartbreaking but this is obviously not common and not a reason to override people’s legal rights but it is something for unmarried people to think about!

Really? I was under the impression that didn't really happen in the UK these days. Do you see it much?

Strangesally20 · Yesterday 20:16

IonianNerveGrip · Yesterday 20:11

Really? I was under the impression that didn't really happen in the UK these days. Do you see it much?

not hugely common but it does happen on occasion and it’s very sad. If the person is awake when they come in and name their NOK then it’s fine but if unconscious and the whole family including adult children are naming themselves as the next of kin and are saying they don’t want any info given to anyone but them and don’t want so and so to visit then our hands are tied unfortunately. We can really override the family despite our opinions. It can unfortunately get very messy with family dynamics at times in the ICU when stress levels are high.

ValenciaOrangeJawline · Yesterday 20:19

Strangesally20 · Yesterday 20:16

not hugely common but it does happen on occasion and it’s very sad. If the person is awake when they come in and name their NOK then it’s fine but if unconscious and the whole family including adult children are naming themselves as the next of kin and are saying they don’t want any info given to anyone but them and don’t want so and so to visit then our hands are tied unfortunately. We can really override the family despite our opinions. It can unfortunately get very messy with family dynamics at times in the ICU when stress levels are high.

Do you ask for proof of ID/ marriage certificate etc. from people claiming to be NOK? Sorry, a bit off topic but very interesting.

OnGoldenPond · Yesterday 20:37

Monty36 · Yesterday 18:50

I suspect you would have to be both agreeing that you are both in a relationship and have been for the required years. And with full capacity to say so.
In the same way people have to state they are marrying without undue influence.
This is a consultation. Such issues will be raised and they will have to be discussed and looked at.
The final thing certainly won’t allow a lodger to claim a relationship that doesn’t exist.

Wouldn’t be much of a protection if both parties had to agree to it. The kind of deadbeats who screw over their unmarried partners and walk away without a backward glance would just deny the relationship.

IonianNerveGrip · Yesterday 20:53

Strangesally20 · Yesterday 20:16

not hugely common but it does happen on occasion and it’s very sad. If the person is awake when they come in and name their NOK then it’s fine but if unconscious and the whole family including adult children are naming themselves as the next of kin and are saying they don’t want any info given to anyone but them and don’t want so and so to visit then our hands are tied unfortunately. We can really override the family despite our opinions. It can unfortunately get very messy with family dynamics at times in the ICU when stress levels are high.

That all sounds very difficult.

BeardySchnauzer · Yesterday 21:09

I think there would be a lot of unintended consequences and it could lead to increased elder abuse/coercion

rather than change the law I think it would be better to educate people on the risks of entwining yourselves financially without legal security

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