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Legal matters

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Partner died intestate, can I be a trustee?

42 replies

IndecisiveRabbit · 30/05/2026 01:22

My partner died unexpectedly on Wednesday. We have three children, all under 18. We own a house together, as tenants in common. He had no will and we were not married. We had been together for 23 years. From what I have read, his portion of our house and all his belongings will go to the children, and I will not be able to apply to be an administrator of his estate, but may be able to be a trustee of the children's trust where his assets will go. Is this correct? Please no comments on our stupidity, I have enough to deal with. Thank you.

OP posts:
Misunderstoodagain · 30/05/2026 01:27

Hoping someone will come along that's more knowledgeable - sorry for you loss, I hope you can get the advice you need.

Paramaribo2025 · 30/05/2026 02:05

Yes sorry, I think if you are not married, everything that is his will go to his kids.

Another2Cats · 30/05/2026 07:27

I am very sorry to hear this. These are brief answers to your questions.

"From what I have read, his portion of our house and all his belongings will go to the children,"

Yes, however children under the age of 18 cannot inherit until they are 18.

"and I will not be able to apply to be an administrator of his estate,"

Since you were not married then it is the children who will administer the estate.

If any of the children were over the age of 18 then they would apply themselves to administer the estate.

However, in the case of children under 18 then the person with parental responsibility for the child/ren is entitled to take out the grant of administration on their behalf. So, you, as the mother of the children under 18 can apply on their behalf.

"but may be able to be a trustee of the children's trust where his assets will go. "

Yes, you will be one trustee. However, where there are children under 18 there must always be at least two trustees. So, once you have the letters of administration, then you will need to appoint a second trustee as well as yourself.

There is specific wording that you need to use to appoint a second trustee so I suggest that you seek specific advice about that from a professional when the time comes.

The trust capital will need to be invested until the children turn 18. However, any income the trust receives (eg interest or dividends etc) can be used to help the education etc of the children.

IndecisiveRabbit · 30/05/2026 23:00

Another2Cats · 30/05/2026 07:27

I am very sorry to hear this. These are brief answers to your questions.

"From what I have read, his portion of our house and all his belongings will go to the children,"

Yes, however children under the age of 18 cannot inherit until they are 18.

"and I will not be able to apply to be an administrator of his estate,"

Since you were not married then it is the children who will administer the estate.

If any of the children were over the age of 18 then they would apply themselves to administer the estate.

However, in the case of children under 18 then the person with parental responsibility for the child/ren is entitled to take out the grant of administration on their behalf. So, you, as the mother of the children under 18 can apply on their behalf.

"but may be able to be a trustee of the children's trust where his assets will go. "

Yes, you will be one trustee. However, where there are children under 18 there must always be at least two trustees. So, once you have the letters of administration, then you will need to appoint a second trustee as well as yourself.

There is specific wording that you need to use to appoint a second trustee so I suggest that you seek specific advice about that from a professional when the time comes.

The trust capital will need to be invested until the children turn 18. However, any income the trust receives (eg interest or dividends etc) can be used to help the education etc of the children.

Thank you for responding, that's very helpful. I will be talking to a solicitor about how to proceed.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/05/2026 23:43

Sorry for your loss. I would put this into ai and mention which country you’re in

FiveShelties · 30/05/2026 23:45

I am so sorry, what a dreadful shock for you.

frockandcrocs · 31/05/2026 08:37

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/05/2026 23:43

Sorry for your loss. I would put this into ai and mention which country you’re in

Do not this, speak to an actual professional/citizen advice.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 31/05/2026 08:41

I’m so sorry for your loss, and sorry that you are having to deal with technical stuff as well as managing the immediate grief. 💐

Soontobe60 · 31/05/2026 08:48

Who is your partners closes living relative other than his children? If his parents are still alive they would be the first in line, siblings next. They can pass the POA on to you if they so wish using this form.
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/628361978fa8f55623a58aba/PA12_0522_save.pdf

https://www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate/if-theres-not-a-will

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/628361978fa8f55623a58aba/PA12_0522_save.pdf

andnowwhatdowedo · 31/05/2026 08:59

Oh bugger. I am so sorry. The children were his dependents and will have rights. I suggest making an appointment at citizens advice and go through your options step by step.

rockthemix · 31/05/2026 09:02

No. It all goes to his children.

Sussyknowsthemeaningoflife · 31/05/2026 09:04

No advice, but so sorry for your loss op.

andnowwhatdowedo · 31/05/2026 09:05

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/05/2026 23:43

Sorry for your loss. I would put this into ai and mention which country you’re in

No no don't do that, AI frequently gives misinformation . Get proper advice.

andnowwhatdowedo · 31/05/2026 09:06

rockthemix · 31/05/2026 09:02

No. It all goes to his children.

Thats the positive news, but setting up the trust and doing the admin will take time.

JustMyView13 · 31/05/2026 09:11

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Just wanted to hop on and say that some home insurance policy’s come with legal cover which may be useful in this specific scenario. There’s so much admin when someone passes, and naturally this period of your life will be chaotic. It might be prudent to get some professional support so that your and your children’s interests are protected.
As a side note, don’t forget to amend your will & beneficiary forms for any pension or life assurance.
And be kind to yourself. We all dream of a long, happy and healthy life. You can’t change the past, but you can do your best for your family moving forward xx

OneKhakiTurtle · 31/05/2026 09:12

I presume the house will be paid from the insurance so get that sorted asap to get rid of mortgage payments.

Accounts with his name on will be frozen until his estate is dealt with so get any money from joint accounts now and put it elsewhere to prevent your own liquid assets being pulled into the estate.

I’m so sorry for your loss. 💐

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 31/05/2026 09:15

I’m so sorry to hear this - but please, anyone reading this who doesn’t have a will, particularly if they’re unmarried, use the OP’s situation as a warning and get your wills sorted. It truly is horrendous to be lost with admin while grieving and having your life totally turned upside down.

And OP you are not alone in this - plenty of people find themselves in this situation.

I would be going to get legal advice though. It’s not overly complex so anyone dealing in probate should be able to help, but you’ll want to get it right.

Candleabra · 31/05/2026 09:16

OneKhakiTurtle · 31/05/2026 09:12

I presume the house will be paid from the insurance so get that sorted asap to get rid of mortgage payments.

Accounts with his name on will be frozen until his estate is dealt with so get any money from joint accounts now and put it elsewhere to prevent your own liquid assets being pulled into the estate.

I’m so sorry for your loss. 💐

I don’t think you can automatically do this (pay the mortgage off) as the money will go to the children. You can’t make decisions in the same way as if you’d inherited the money. I’m very sorry for your loss too, and it sounds like a difficult situation.

OneKhakiTurtle · 31/05/2026 09:17

Candleabra · 31/05/2026 09:16

I don’t think you can automatically do this (pay the mortgage off) as the money will go to the children. You can’t make decisions in the same way as if you’d inherited the money. I’m very sorry for your loss too, and it sounds like a difficult situation.

The mortgage is insured and automatically paid off not life assurance.

rockthemix · 31/05/2026 09:22

andnowwhatdowedo · 31/05/2026 09:06

Thats the positive news, but setting up the trust and doing the admin will take time.

OP can’t be trustee. It’ll be their guardian.

Candleabra · 31/05/2026 09:24

OneKhakiTurtle · 31/05/2026 09:17

The mortgage is insured and automatically paid off not life assurance.

sorry, where does it say that?

IndecisiveRabbit · 31/05/2026 09:38

Thank you everyone. He was called Tom, and he was the best father. I see him everywhere, it hasn't really sunk in yet, I keep forgetting then think someone else is him. As someone wrote upthread, if you don't have a will yet please go and do it, it will save your loved ones a lot of work. Thanks all.

OP posts:
Spendysis · 31/05/2026 09:42

I have no advice but I am so sorry for your loss

Mischance · 31/05/2026 09:45

I have no legal knowledge to help you but just wanted to send support and strength to you and your children on the death of your partner. I have been there and know the strange sense of dislocation from real life that accompanies the sadness and how hard it is to get on top of all the complicated practical things.
I hope you have kind people around you.

OneKhakiTurtle · 31/05/2026 09:49

@Candleabra I’m sorry you are correct we are legally required to have mortgage protection insurance I assumed it was the same in the UK, apologies.