Power of attorney

[Barbraskol]

Hi my husband is much older than me divorce was and is in my plan but I stayed for kids also I wouldn't cope financially on my own. My daughter 16 years old mentioned today that she will apply for power of attorney when he will be getting unwell and she said she will take care of him when she will be over 18. I know is maybe a few years to go but what's happen if I divorce him will I be entitled to half of the property. Also neither me or him won't be able to buy even one bed flat. I could go and rent but he and she will struggle.

Could you get the wheels of divorce started now and get it over with? Clear the decks so to speak? Divide the assets while he’s still cognizant etc.

Then if he’s agreeable of course yr daughter can apply for POA when she reaches eligible age. Does she understand the POA rules? There’s more to it than meets the eye.

I don't think she does understand I went through a lot with him including parental alienation he just keeps her on his side. I'm waiting for her to finish education to not pay child maintenance as I won't survive if I rent out even studio flat. I'm hoping next 4 years will be clearer property is part buy part rent so I won't get a lot. I really waiting for right moment.

Does he want to appoint your daughter as poa and want her to look after him? Doesnt she have her own aspirations. Do you work, have you got your own money, do you own a house together.

I think she has aspirations but I know how much he manipulate her. I won't be surprised if she will take his advice. At the moment nothing has been signed and said by him. Lots of is happening behind my back he is getting old and very obsessed with money. He already gave her money from saving as premium bonds. He done the will that I have never seen. I work full time on minimum of wage. We own part buy part rent, only half.

How much you are entitled to in divorce is independent of whether he chooses to give your daughter LPOA. However, it is not guaranteed you will be entitled to half the property. That is the starting point, but your actual entitlement could be more or less than that.

Why can’t you cope financially independently? Are you working? Do you have other children @Barbraskol ?
where does your income come from?

If you rent/buy whose names are on the agreement, how much do you actually own now. Poa won't affect what you'll be entitled to if you divorce,

We own half but flat small one and on both names. He mentioned after the will that all will be mine if he dies. I need to see solicitor as situation changed I will wait for GCSE results and where she will get into. I work full time but minimum of wage I might afford studio flat if I rent I'm not entitled to council already ask them because I'm the owner of the property. 2 years ago solicitor told me that I won't get anything because she needs place to live and she wanted to stay with him. I was earning even less so wasn't any chance for me to move out. She is entitled little lady I can't imagine how she will cope as a carer as I do everything for them even DIY.

If you divorce then your solicitor will look at all the finances, uours and his, and work our what you are entitled to. How old is he. What is going on behind your back. How much premium bonds and money does he have, how much did he give your daughter.

He is 80. Everything is equal that's what solicitor told. She won't be able to buy me etc is not enough money in her premium bonds. But he has small savings so if they put that together they might be able. That will make her to stay with him in the flat when she will get power of attorney. She is money driven and immature so I'm more than sure she will do that. She is at the moment using me for money all the time to take her for holidays or find her babysitting, take her to restaurants etc. She is using me they same as he did.

I think I’d be seeking legal advice now. Your H is 80 but how is his health? He could live for years and potentially all is savings could be spent on care. Understand your rights…. DD sounds like she’s been totally manipulated by him. I’ve never heard of a 16 yo mentioning LPoA… and we are having conversations about the same in relation to my elderly dad.

Health is good some prostate problems and kidneys but I can see memory problems he might have dementia or Alzheimer's later on...
They stick togheter and talk togheter solicitor told me when I saw her that he wants to keep her for himself to take care of him and now that's happening. I will wait for GCSE results and make appointment. My problem is outgoings for years I would be gone long time ago because I'm servant here but I don't want to live in shared accomodation in my 50 s.
Thank you everybody 🙏

Stop giving her money,

Your daughter need to have a long hard think about what it takes to look after someone.
There are 4 of us looking after our dad at home and it is soooo hard. It isn't sustainable for us never mind 1 person.
Obviously will depend on needs but still will be a lot for a young person to take on themselves.

I don't think she is aware she just mentioned she can't wait to be responsible for his money. She is only thinking about finances. I more than sure if she will have boyfriend or go to college or uni she will forget about him. I wasn't even thinking to look after my parent when I was at uni my social life was more important. I started being more family focused after I had her.
The problem is he is manipulative and he knows he can do it with her by promising her financial gains.

Have you got bank accounts, would you want to be his power of attorney instead.

We have separate bank accounts. I have on the top 2 x ISA accounts but around 20 K in it. He might have the same I don't think is more. Is equal as I mentioned. On the top I started saving to the sock as I don't know what's happen because My family is gifting me money in cash but a lot. Holidays are split he will take her once I will take her second time. He pays bills I pay food clothing etc. All is around similar with outgoings. As solicitor mentioned all will be straight forward the same with his private pension mine is only 6 years as I wasn't paying to it before. I wasn't working for 5 years later self employed small money.

I think you need to see your own solicitor and get a few things straightened out as you are conflating a lot of things here:

Divorce - understand where you stand and what your likely settlement would be.

LPOA - understand what it would mean for you if your husband gave your daughter LPOA i.e. have someone explain to you what that means for joint assets.

Care costs - understand what would happen in your husbands assets need to be used for his care.

gifting me money in cash but a lot- sorry should be not a lot as my mum is gifting me money that I can treat myself but I'm saving that to a sock.