Changing daughters last name

[strawberry780]

My daughter (9) wants to change her last name to my last name. Her father hasn’t been present in her life for 7yrs due to domestic violence. He doesn’t know her school , where she lives or anything about her.
has anyone changed their child’s last name without consent of the absent father?
tia x

I think you need a court order to be able to do it without his permission. Is he on the birth certificate?

I did it, it was easy. I just did a declaration rather than have to declare their dads consent, and then opened a bank account in my childs new name, and changed it at school.

I didn't have any problems at all.

If you were married to the father or he is on the birth certificate, that was not a legal change of name. It could cause problems in future.

If you were married or he is on the birth certificate, he has PR so you need his consent or a court order to change your child's name. The courts are reluctant to agree to a change of name. The fact he has been absent does not necessarily mean you will win.

It's been years and it's been fine.

I think the poster means when she is a grown up.

She got her NI number in her chosen name, got her provisional in her chosen name... no problems.

Passport?

Is her father on the birth certificate?
are there any court orders banning him from contact?

It’s not as easy now as it used to be to change names. If he’s on the birth certificate then you’d need his permission, unless you can get permission to change it without his permission (for example a child I worked with legally had their changed as the courts allowed it as their father was in prison for attempting to murder them).

He is yes

How am I supposed to contact him when I have No idea where to start 🙈 we wasn’t married but he was convicted of DV

You’d have to go down the PI route.

However, as he was convicted of DV then you have a higher chance of obtaining a court order (specific issue order) without needing to get in touch with him as you can apply for it that way on the basis of safety.

Generally courts are happier to allow a double-barrelling of a name rather than complete change, but they may be more amenable with the circumstances of both the DV and his lack of contact.

A lesson to all women, keep your name and give your children your name. If he wants the same name as you, he can change it.

lol sometimes it’s not that easy.

And if she ends up in a job that requires extensive background checks?

it’s fine. Don’t worry about edge cases. It’s only your child’s entire future.

The courts have been clear that changing a child's name needs the consent of everyone with PR or, failing that, a court order and that official bodies should not accept changes that do not comply with this. If you managed to get round this, well done but I wouldn't advise people to try. Of course, once a child is 16 they can change their own name.

Yes I done it via court. Explained circumstances to judge. Stamped and then done via Deed Poll.

What if she does? She has her original birth certificate and name change declaration and all of her ID, exam results etc in her chosen name. So the most a very extensive check would show is that i didn't have permission, but I doubt any check will show that anyway.

It's very easy with a totally uninvolved father.

Long time ago now I did a declaration from a solicitor saying my DS was to be known as another name. We kept the original name as a middle name ( not double barrelled) and added mine. No problem getting a passport in that name and going by new surname all his life.

If my child wanted to do this i would tell them wait till they are 18 then they can do what they want

No, it isn't. If the father is completely uninvolved, you are unlikely to get his consent. If he has PR, that means the only way you can legally change your child's name is with a court order, and the courts are reluctant to agree to a change of name.

In your case, you say you made some kind of declaration. If the father of your child did not have PR, that was fine and you changed your child's name legally. However, if he had PR the change of name was not legal and official bodies should not have accepted it. You may have got away with an illegal change of name, but please don't advise others to do the same. They may get away with it, but in most cases the change will not be accepted by official bodies.

Previous advice is correct. You need his permission - you both sign the deed poll. The alternative is specific issue proceedings / expensive and invasive.

the middle ground is that your child can choose her ‘preferred name’ and gp and schools will happily use this instead. It will mean her legal name stays and will be used in some circumstances (eg GCSEs) but daily life she can use the name she chooses.

at 16 she can legally change her name
without permission from either of you.

names really matter, well done for supporting her with this.

Just be aware that more and more schools will now only used preferred surnames with the permission of all with PR. That is what they are meant to do and more are following that.

some still will go with it, but they don’t have to.

Its not as easy to do things informally now as it used to be.