Fake ID nightmare

[BerryTwister]

I posted this in chat but someone suggested Legal might be better.

I’m wondering if anyone can share any experiences. Please please please don’t tell me my son is evil and should be locked up, I can’t bear to hear it.

DS is just 17. His mates are now going to parties etc, drinking beer and so on. DS doesn’t get drunk, but drinks a couple of cans if he’s out at a party. A few of his contemporaries have got fake IDs, so stupidly, and obviously without telling me, he bought a fake ID online.

He supplied his photo, name, address and signature (but incorrect date of birth of course) to the seller.

And now, of course, he’s been scammed. He paid £40 for the ID, got sent a photo of it, and now the “courier” is demanding £100 before sending it or he’ll “open the package and go to the police”. It’s an obvious scam. I’ve messaged the courier and he as good as admitted it’s blackmail. It’s clear they’re scammers, so there’s no way they’d go to the police. Nor will they ever send the ID.

DS is utterly distraught. He’s convinced he’s going to end up in prison. He wants to go to the police right now and hand himself in.

My worry is that with the information he provided, the scammers could do some damage - not sure what exactly, but it seems like a lot of information for them to have.

I’m livid with DS. He knows about scammers, we get scam phone calls all the time. He knows how wary I am of anything dodgy.

Has anyone got any experience of this? Will it all just disappear if we don’t do anything, or will something bad happen?

It sounds like he has lost about £40 but that's about it.

I also have a 17 year old son so lots of talk about fake ID etc etc. I really don’t think this is a problem, the scammers are the problem here and they know it. What they are doing is far more of a legal issue than anything your son has done. I wouldn’t make him feel worse than he already does, it’s a silly mistake but he definitely won’t have legal consequences for him. Anyway, he’s still a child in the eyes of the law.

And I really didn't want people lecturing me that teens shouldn't be getting fake IDs and it's his own fault he's in this mess.

He's not in a mess though.

And I don't think a single person has lectured you that teens shouldn't be getting fake IDs...unless I've missed something pretty much everyone has waved it away as a bit of standard, inconsequential teenage silliness.

DS is utterly distraught. He’s convinced he’s going to end up in prison. He wants to go to the police right now and hand himself in.

I think this might be why people have criticized your reaction.

What you describe is a bizarre overreaction from a 17 year old lad.

Firstly it's common sense that nobody selling anything illicit is going to report a customer to the police, even if they weren't in the process of blackmailing him. Even if they weren't scammers, they're hardly going to sell many fake IDs if they extorting their customers.

But not only has he not picked up on that, he's distraught, convinced that he's going to prison and wanting to hand himself in to police...that's not normal.

Given the language you used, I don't think it's unreasonable of people to tell you to take a chill pill. If your reaction is to think people will tell you your child is evil for buying a fake ID, could this by why his reaction is to think he's going to prison?

DS struggles a bit with his mental health. He’s seen a psychiatrist privately, she decided no need for input because he functions well, but he has a lot of OCD + ADHD traits, and also really struggles to regulate his emotions. He catastrophises and gets excessively upset about small things. Hence him freaking out about this.

I posted for advice, and I specifically asked people not to lecture me about DS’s wrongdoing (as I have witnessed innumerable times on MN), and instead some people have chosen to accuse me over overreacting, and told me to “calm the fuck down”. Truly bizarre.

I’m grateful to the people who have been helpful.

The next step is to speak to the bank, just in case these scammers try and access his account in some way. If DS tells the bank fraud department that it was a fake ID he was trying to buy, does anyone know if they’re obliged to report this to the police as a crime committed by DS? I know it’s a tiny thing, and of course in reality the police aren’t interested, but DS needs to know there’ll be zero consequences for him, because otherwise he’ll be in bits.

Her 17 year old DS is utterly distraught and panicking because he thinks he's going to jail. poor kid.

She's livid because it was an idiotic thing to do (although she also clearly understands that he's a 17 year old, and they do idiotic things)

And have you been on MN long? I've seen utterly unhinged responses to people just asking about how often they should bathe their kids, or what they can do about cats pooing in their garden. Posters being vile about OP's son wouldn't be unusual, and just look at the hammering she's getting over using descriptive words FFS.

But not only has he not picked up on that, he's distraught, convinced that he's going to prison and wanting to hand himself in to police...that's not normal.

it is for a relatively sheltered 17 year old who's not been in trouble before..

You should have seen my tween when he spent some money I'd charged his fortnite account up with so he could get the month pass on a skin, and now had to ask for more money for the pass - the kid was almost inconsolable, and that was over 6 bloody quid of his own money! And I'm really not a scary mother.

I don't think you don't need to tell the bank what he did. You/he just needs to be alert for phishing attempts to get his back details. Get him to up date his security on his account (new password new pin). Maybe create a new email account.

Ignore the threat. He hasn't committed any offence as the ID is not in his possession. You can put his mind at rest by getting him to the read the Identity Documents Act (it's very short) here: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2010/40/contents

As you can see it is only the possession with improper intention, and the possession of equipment and intention to supply, that is an offence.

The courier however is committing offences both under the Identity Documents Act and the Theft Act (Blackmail). So obviously their threat to go to the police is hollow.

I’m not sure the police will be interested in a 17 year old having a few cans…… they may be with the scammer and fake ID provider.

Contact the police

Op you really are totally overreacting.

On its own the Police probably won't be interested in a fake ID, but it would give them sufficient grounds to detain you and search you etc. This is usually when other offending is discovered.

Either way I wouldn't encourage my children to commit a criminal offence regardless of how likely they are to get caught.

I know from personal experience the danger of casually breaking the law and not thinking through the consequences.

For the OP, take it as a close call that your DS can learn from, as I did 45 years ago.

I think this too.
No one cares about a fake id! It could even be his mates messing about. I’d just let it go and stop responding. They’re not going to go to the police.. because they’re the ones who have made it 😅

Please tell me where I’ve overreacted. I’m annoyed with my son because he fell for what is, in my opinion, a pretty obvious scam. But teens do what teens do, and I did plenty of stupid things myself. After the initial anger, I haven’t told him off. In fact I’ve spent a lot of time reassuring him that it’ll be OK.

He is a natural worrier and prone to catastrophising, so the fear is coming from him. He’s also in the middle of mock A levels, which is adding to his anxiety.

I posted on here so I could be equipped with answers to his many questions, and so that I could fix this problem.

I don’t think I’ve overreacted, although I have found some of the posts on here quite nasty. But this is MN, I’ve been here 20 years, and some people definitely use it as a place to vent their frustrations, so the responses aren’t entirely unexpected.

What makes you think you are right as opposed to us who have also been here decades and think you’re overreacting?

Why are you going to the bank? You’ve been told plenty of times just to block and ignore but now you’re dragging your anxious kid (who you overreacted to by being livid at him), to the bank.

Just leave it and move on. Nothing is going to happen but you’re insisting on creating drama.

Poor guy, I remember getting a fake ID when I was 16 (it was a lot easier then).

Hoping there are no repercussions for him. I honestly don't see how there could be (apart from the loss of £40). Hope he realises this soon.

Any chance you could get any contact details etc from the scammer (perhaps by pretending to be thinking about paying further money), and report them to the police for the blackmail and for making fake ID s?

I don’t think you need to tell the bank about the fake ID just get him to tell them that he feels his account may have been compromised and perhaps they could change his account number and card just to be on the safe side.
I assume he didn’t give the scammer his passport number/ provisional driving license number or anything as that may need reporting as I personally know someone who was a victim of identity theft and was on a no fly list in the end due to scammers, took many months and thousands in legal fees to sort but perhaps that is rare (and the actual scam happened on holiday). Otherwise try not to give it another thought but if you do have any repercussions from the scammers such as they try contacting you via your post or something, just take that information and pass it into the police. Whilst I appreciate your frustration at your son, I think a lot of of us Have either had a fake ID or know a friend who’s had one back in the day, so not an uncommon issue to be dealing with So don’t be too hard on him.

OP, if I were you then I would be going to the police. Loads of youngsters use fake ID but blackmail is serious.

I think the duke of Wellington had it right when he said ‘publish and be dammed’

your DS is not thinking straight but he is not going to go to jail for purchasing it even trying to purchase fake ID. What would the offence be?

the scammers equally would probably get off but std more likely to have form.

He is DS should take it up the police himself. And really learn the lesson.

@CountryQueen I don’t know what you’ve got against me.

Firstly, I’m not really reacting at all, except to my son’s concerns. I have, obviously, long since blocked the scammers. No one has shown me anything I’ve said that is an overreaction. I am responding to my son’s reactions.

Secondly, we can’t “go to the bank”. There aren’t any banks near us. It’s all online or the phone.

Thirdly, it’s my son who wants to speak to the bank. He’s worried they’ll hack his account. I’m 99% sure they don’t have the wherewithal to do that, and they’re just basic blackmailers, but I couldn’t sweat to it. He had to make 2 separate payments to 2 different people, and send photos of the transactions to the seller.

Where am I creating drama? I am simply asking legal questions in the legal section of MN. For some inexplicable reason you seem to have time on your hands, and can’t seem to stop posting criticisms of my behaviour. Can you not find something else to do, please?

From what he’s said, he just gave them a photo, name, address and a date of birth that is exactly a year older than he is. They’ve created a fake driving licence, but the number is random (he’s seen a photo of it). He doesn’t want the blackmailers reported because he doesn’t even want a chat with the police, and is scared (despite all the evidence to the contrary) that he’ll get into trouble.

My instinct now is to just forget about it and chalk it up to experience, but he can’t stop worrying about it.