Occupation order please help 🙏

[F0xglove1987]

Can someone please please give me advice about what evidence you needed to get an occupation order? Really getting desperate now as my abusive ex will not leave. Does anyone have enough evidence for someone who has not been recently violent but theres been past violence?

In my original statement for NMO/OO I presented a combination of the following attached to my statement:

• whats apps where he had incessantly been trying to monitor me, threatened to call SS if I didn't keep him informed of my whereabouts at all times
• photos of a door he smashed up and whatsapps where he acknowledged he had done it and didn't apologise
• whatsapps of him calling me various names, threatening to come home angry unless I did certain things, saying that I was a narcissist
• multiple photos of hidden alcohol I had found including after he had driven the children.
• transcripts of audio I had recorded showing things like him calling me a f'ing sociopath and c#nt, and refusing to leave when I said I felt unsafe.
• transcripts of audio where he had been abusive with young children present, and where he told me he was installing cameras throughout the house to monitor me
• tables summarising logs I had kept of multiple overnight disappearing acts used as a form of punishment.
• whatsapps and a GP appointment confirmation showing that he was spreading a false narrative about me being mentally unstable and 'psychotic' to friends and professionals.

I was granted to NMO ex parte and the OO at the return hearing 6d later. He was given 48h to leave. Though he initially was allowed by the court to live in the garden outbuilding with a back door key to access the toilet inside the house! So it was not exactly much safer. And the harrassment just continued.

Go through previous messages and screenshot any, and keep a daily log of all events and photograph if there is anything relevant. Report to professionals and the police so that it comes up on the police checks. I was given mixed advice about recording him as know it can be frowned upon, but one children's solicitor I spoke to said I should so I did include audio and some videos as evidence and no judge has said anything bad to me about having done so.

@Iristhebutterfly Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out. Yours is very obviously coercive controlling behaviour. Mine is more subtle coercive control but mixed with physical assaults, shouting and swearing and smashing items. There was a lot of emotional abuse and emotional manipulation. Hes very clever though and since we separated hes stopped the overt aggression but the children he previously had no interest in, he is now trying to control everything I do, down to arguing with me over half hour blocks of time. Did you get some help to write your witness statement? I have looked everywhere to find an example online.

I used AI to help structure/phrase some bits of it. And my IDVA put me in contact with a probono solicitor locally who then checked through it before I submitted it.

Are you in contact with a local DA service or have an IDVA? They should be able to signpost you to someone. I don't know if the national domestic helpline or women's aid may also be able to help.

In my case I have now been asked for a 7th (!) statement. And definitely the statement writing has become more second nature the more I have had to do it. And AI is very helpful. Especially if you ask it to phrase things like a solicitor would.

I don’t know what your finances are like but if you are eligible, you could apply for legal aid and find some solicitors to help. The main stumbling block with the court is that they will need to be satisfied that he has somewhere to go - that will make your case a lot stronger. Does he have the means to afford to rent somewhere else? Does he have friends/family he can stay with? If you can prove this then your case will be stronger. If you’re in danger and police are involved then that will also work in your favour. I think the first thing you should do is see if you can get legal aid.
usually an occupation order is obtained at the same time as a non-molestation order - I think it would be good to look at both.

@LucyD30 he can live with his parents just up the road as they have a room for him or he works full time so he could rent. Yeah the police are involved but I feel like ive left it too late to report the assaults. My problem is I work part time to look after the children and rent is means tested isn't it? Whereas the mortgage I can get family help to pay for now until I can pick up more house. Can he just say his parents wont let him live there? I have a solicitor and shes applying for legal aid for me

@Iristhebutterfly thank you, I do have a solicitor and a domestic abuse support worker but not an IDVA. She said she would speak to them for me and also see if she is allowed to give a letter or something as supporting evidence