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Can I move area for safety and a better life with child

3 replies

PeppySnail · 29/03/2026 15:41

So I need some advice. Me and my child's dad split a few years back, he got arrested, went through court hearings etc.. he's not allowed direct or Indirect contact with me, cannot come near my address, has a restraining order for a few years the list goes on.. this was for stalking and assault on me. We have a toddler, he sees every other weekend which was privately agreed between me and my ex's mum and this has been going well. I did have a social worker involved as the dad is very controlling still, she's done her part and is happy with how I've handled things. A few months ago I spoke with the council about moving address as me and our child still live in the same place he did, hes still on the tenancy and can't be removed. I spoke to the local council about moving and they suggested because of everything that went on i.e. the domestic and other stuff that I should look into other councils and move out of the immediate area for safety but they could only relocate me in temporary accomodation or a refuge until I found somewhere permanent. I decided to look into moving 30/40 minutes away but thinking about it I would be moving to a more expensive area and doesn't have great schools and I struggle financially on my own as it is so it's not justifiable. I have a new partner I've been with for a while, the social worker has absolutely no issues with him and he's been there through it all and continues to be amazing with me and my child. I'm not planning it yet but we have discussed in the future we want our own children too and want to live together. He has his own place about an hour and a half way traffic depending.. amazing schools within walking distance for my child, cheaper living, he has great work there and he earns very well, I also looked into the work situation and it's be the best thing for me and my child financially too to work within that area and move there as there is a lot more opportunities.. now obviously this is for our own safety too if it ever happens.. I've been told by professionals that if I want to move then I am in my right to do so as long as I keep the contact between my child and his father which is doable as I do the drops offs and pick ups anyway and I don't mind the drive. If I kept contact between him and the child but just moved us out of area can I do so? There's no court orders in place with child arrangements, there's constant risk of not moving and being vulnerable to the dad and i can get suitable work and income to support me and my family.. our child would have a great school, regular visits to his dads and can still see other family i.e. grandparents etc.. I just need some advice really from other people about the best way to go about it if and when that day to move does come as regardless it is not safe to stay in my home town but I also fear bringing this topic up to the dad/his mum that he will begin with the manipulation, control etc and do all he can to keep me in my home town.

OP posts:
Hedgehogforshort · 29/03/2026 17:15

Yes you can move, as there is no court order telling you otherwise. It sounds as if you can get away with the ex not even knowing about the move if you do not tell him or his mother, and maintain the contact arrangements.

PeppySnail · 29/03/2026 17:30

Hedgehogforshort · 29/03/2026 17:15

Yes you can move, as there is no court order telling you otherwise. It sounds as if you can get away with the ex not even knowing about the move if you do not tell him or his mother, and maintain the contact arrangements.

This is what I thought but I didn't know if that seemed unreasonable.. in my eyes I'd happily keep the contact to taking our child to his dad's every other weekend and picking him back up and giving them extra time during the school holidays but I needed to hear it from someone else. I feel like if he found out of the move he would try to cause so many issues and potentially even try to go through court.. people have told me if he did do that because of his past he could risk losing the contact he does have and that he would be silly to risk it but it's still that overthinking of yes I'm doing the right thing for myself and our child but also am I better off sticking locally to avoid the drama but that will just effect my own mental state and I wanna be a good healthy present mum for our son.

OP posts:
Hedgehogforshort · 29/03/2026 17:36

The move you are suggesting is not that far away and is not out of is not out of the countries jurisdiction so am not clear what the argument would be on ex part unless the child is sitting exams or something.

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