What rights does my ex have to enforce shared care at 15?

[OneGreyBiscuit]

Hi, I've already got another thread going about this but just wondering if there's anyone in the know here. Without going into too much spiel again what rights does my ex have over having our nearly 15 year old DD having to stay at his half the week even though she doesn't want to and hates it?

Is there a current court order stating this?

Zero. A 15 year old can choose where they live and when.

Court wouldn't force her, children over about 11/12 are seen by the family court as being able to make their own decisions about contact. No one is going to force a 15 year old to attend contact.

No we've worked this out between ourselves. It works fine for us but it doesn't for our dd. She's messaged him saying she doesn't want to stay there anymore and he's been on about legal rights and getting a solicitor and courts.

Let him waste his time and his money. He could try to pursue the parental alienation route i.e. you've unduly influenced her. However, if she has legitimate reasons that she can articulate (I think I've seen your other thread)then no court is going to force a 15 year old to go if she doesn't want to. How can they? CAFCASS will interview everyone, do a report for the court, and at 15 it should reflect her views.

This is what worries me as I know he thinks I'm behind it. He's already made comments about me turning our 19 year old against him. I've never stopped either from seeing him as I've no reason to.

Why doesn't she want to stay?

As PP have said. Nothing

but if he is a good dad and you have no reason to stop your DD then perhaps ask her why? Get to the route of why. Find a compromise such as adhoc or doesn’t have to sleep there but it would be nice for her to go there a few evenings a week etc

Is it about the money? Is he afraid you’ll claim more if she doesn’t stay with him?

Is your thread the one about lack of basic facilities? If it is then you've got nothing at all to worry about. A 15 year old is allowed to have standards and if they're not being met how can that amount to parental alienation? Realistically what can the court enforce? You can drop her off and she can walk out. She's old enough to have a degree of of agency about her own life and what happens. Where's the evidence that you've been putting psychological pressure on her? She's been having regular contact on a voluntary basis and is now saying no.

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/
Link to CAFCASS

It shouldn't cost you anything in legal fees as you appear more than capable of speaking for yourself in court. You don't need a solicitor to defend any of this.

Don't accept an offer of mediation. There's nothing to mediate because you're not preventing or challenging contact and it costs money.

In that case you can legally end the current contact advise him to apply for a Child Arrangement Order either online there is a charge about £250 or via a solicitor much more expensive. The views of a 15 year old will be taken very seriously by CAFCASS who may be asked to write a report for court.

You could also discuss alternative reduced contact arrangements with him. Wish you well.

This is a fair question to ask her.
my childhood friend hating staying at her dads because there was no lock on the bathroom and no bin in the loo for her period pads.
simple fix but it took a lot of courage for a then 13 year old to ask for those things.

I don't get anything from him and I give him half the child benefit

I've put it in my previous thread but basically it's because the house is dirty, she has to carry all her school books with her and they weigh a ton. She doesn't shower there because it's dirty and there's no shower gel there anyway. He's bought her no clothes except socks an pants, so only has a couple of outfits that I provided and are probably getting small on her.

Right, but he’s afraid he’ll lose the CB, and that you’d be entitled to more if you go through CMS. He may accept it better if he know you weren’t claiming- though he absolutely should support his DCs both financially and with suitable accommodation.

Poor kid, all reasonable things, I doubt any judge would disagree with her.

That's the thing, I don't want a thing from him and he's so tight fisted it'll be me having to take him to court to get it.

My dad d to harp on about all yhis shit

Stop making her / encouraging her to go

Instead support her meeting up with him outside his house (after school or day trips)

Tell him to feel free you take you to court she doesnt want to go for valid reasons and you wouldnt want to live in those conditions either. Shes almost an adult and you cant force her.
If he cleaned his house and provided the basic things she needed this wouldnt be happening.
If he cleans his house and provides the basic things she needs you imagine shed be more inclined to want to stay.

All of this is pointless. Just tell him she doesn't want to go and that's the end of it.

Stop giving him child benefit - why are you doing that? And you don't have to go to court for child maintenance, the child maintenance service does it all

Right, so he doesn't support his DC and you have no court order. Let him do his worst OP, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. No court will force a 15-year-old who can articulate her POV and (by the sound of it) who has reasonable grounds for not wanting to go there. Your ex is a filthy pig who could clean his house, provide clothes and shower gel and generally be a decent father, but he chooses not to. You sound extremely reasonable and anyone will be able to read between the lines.

And yes, please put in a request via the CMS!