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Original poster

Can I stop my ex taking our son skiing during GCSE term time?

17 replies

Tofuandchips · 15/03/2026 09:10

Hi, my younger son is 15 and doing GCSEs this year. He has capacity to do really well but has not been revising as he should (the lure of TokTok), so I do really want to put him in a position where he has every opportunity to make good choices about work revision etc.

His first exam (they’re staggered over a quite a long period- we are in Wales) is just after Easter holidays. The school is a private sector one so there are (as far as I know) no local authority restrictions on taking holidays in term time - though obviously the school would strongly disapprove of this.

I have just found out that his father intends to take him out of school for the last 5 school days of this term (from 23 March) in order to go skiing. (He has already had a skiing holiday in January!)

His father and I have been apart for 10 years. We share 50/50 custody - no court arrangements, we decided this informally. We communicate through an app as he has been violent to me in the past. He has a caution for domestic violence against me as from about 2014 (and there have been incidents since that I have not reported, most recently a year ago- yes I know I should have done, I wanted to avoid the conflict with kids that I knew would result from my reporting their dad). I don’t have any details of this caution to hand, for instance any sort of police document etc.

I really think it would be an extremely bad idea for my son to miss the last week of this school term. I would like to stop it but to be honest a) I don’t think my ex cares about stuff like exams and b) I think he is likely to get extremely aggressive if I contact him directly about this. He is not a reasonable man & flies off the handle very easily.

Because of this I have been looking into legal options & have found something called an emergency prohibited steps order. I do not have savings & if I go down this route would need to represent myself.

I would be really grateful for any advice on questions below.

If I apply for an order if this type, would there be any chance of succeeding? Or is this totally inappropriate?

I am really conscious of delays in court system & the suffering they cause. Would it be wrong for me to make an emergency application of this type given that there is such a dreadful backlog anyway?

I think I would need to use a form C100. Is that right?

I think I can try to avoid the mediation step given the domestic violence history. Is this right? If so, do I need to fill in an extra form to show this? And would I need to get some kind of formal documentation of the caution from the police?

Should I attach to any application the photos I took of my injuries? Should I mention the other incidents that I did not report? (One of these was very serious & sexual in nature but I have no evidence of it and given its nature I feel very loath to ventilate it in an application, or whatever).

Is there any specific info needed to help my application? Term dates & holiday dates obviously. Should I also try to get a letter from the school confirming term dates & that they don’t think he should be taken out in term time? Exam schedule? Should I list the other people going on the holiday (my 2 older sons will be going, also their younger half brother who is at primary school - his mother has also split with my ex, I don’t know what she thinks about all this but her son is so young maybe she thinks missing a week is ok or maybe their term dates are different).

Sorry so long! Really grateful for any advice.

OP posts:

Passaggressfedup · 15/03/2026 15:30

Personally, I think it would be less disruptive and certainly costly to convince your son to take some time when away to do some studying.

This is exactly what I did for my A levels. I went skiing with my dad, but I was so happy and stress free that I actually enjoyed revising after skiing every day. I did very well in my exams.

LondonLady1980 · 15/03/2026 15:34

I would remove the TikTok rather than put yourself through all this stress (and everything that comes with it) just to stop his dad taking him out of school for 5 days.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 15/03/2026 15:47

Who has son's passport?

JustAnotherLawyer2 · 15/03/2026 15:52

You don't need a PSO - you could just refuse to give your consent for the child to travel. Then it will be up to the father to go to court to get permission to take him. You can also tell the school there is no consent from you for the child to miss school.

That said, he's 15, so what's the point in stopping his little hurrah this March? He's not revising anyway due to TikTok, far healthier for him to be on the slopes for a few days before the real slog of exams begins.

Also, just a heads up, the court won't be even a little bit interested in your historic abuse, the kids see their father 50/50 - that means there are no welfare concerns about them with their father.

Let him go, and tell him to have fun and return with the mindset to work hard for his exams.

olympicsrock · 15/03/2026 16:03

Don’t do this. You will just escalate things. Ideally convince your son that he does not want to miss school to go skiing .

Otherwise this kind of conflict will upset him and he will do worse in his exams

AmandaBrotzman · 15/03/2026 16:05

JustAnotherLawyer2 · 15/03/2026 15:52

Also, just a heads up, the court won't be even a little bit interested in your historic abuse, the kids see their father 50/50 - that means there are no welfare concerns about them with their father.

Let him go, and tell him to have fun and return with the mindset to work hard for his exams.

Except that it's really easy to take a child abroad without any evidence of consent from everyone else with PR so if he's a dickhead then he'll probably take him anyway and she would need a court order.

KittyStanton · 15/03/2026 16:26

JustAnotherLawyer2 · 15/03/2026 15:52

Also, just a heads up, the court won't be even a little bit interested in your historic abuse, the kids see their father 50/50 - that means there are no welfare concerns about them with their father.

Let him go, and tell him to have fun and return with the mindset to work hard for his exams.

I took my kids skiing without their dad at half term. We have different surnames. Nobody asked whether I had their fathers permission to take them.

cestlavielife · 15/03/2026 16:29

Not worth fighting if your ds wants to go. Just advise ds to study in the hotel an hour a day and to focus when he gets back.

CrocusesFlowering · 15/03/2026 16:32

What are you doing about the lure of Tik Tok?

lizzyBennet08 · 15/03/2026 16:34

Honestly given how badly your win would likely react. I don't think this would be a hill to die on.
if your ex applied to the court saying your son wanted to live with him full time , he would likely win if your son supported him and then he'd be able to take him when ever he wanted .

tartyflette · 15/03/2026 16:36

Passaggressfedup · 15/03/2026 15:30

Personally, I think it would be less disruptive and certainly costly to convince your son to take some time when away to do some studying.

This is exactly what I did for my A levels. I went skiing with my dad, but I was so happy and stress free that I actually enjoyed revising after skiing every day. I did very well in my exams.

On a ski-ing holiday? That is not at all realistic, tbh.
A week’s skiing is very busy - and tiring!

Especially if they are in ski school, which can be hard work.
And even if not, they could be skiing pretty much all day from 10am to 4pm. And then they will be wanting to have fun in the evenings, it’s a holiday, after all.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 15/03/2026 16:38

I’m in agreement that he should take revision with him, if he’s not doing it at home, what I did with my daughter was make her sit in the dining room to study, no phone, just books, revision sheets/cards and school iPad. He can take it as hand luggage (just in case the airline loses his bag).

Comtesse · 15/03/2026 16:38

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 15/03/2026 15:47

Who has son's passport?

This is the key question. I would be so furious with this proposed trip.

GranolaBaker · 15/03/2026 16:41

I think missing a week of school when private schools already have 3+ weeks off at Easter is a terrible idea. The other angle is to discuss this with the school eg head of year could weigh in. Private schools, while much more flexible, still have to account to the council re attendance and they could make things very awkward for your ex.

They could eg exert pressure by saying not allowed on field days, not allowed to do various activities in sixth form (or indeed be admitted
to sixth form) refuse your DS permission to go to prom, etc

FirstdatesFred · 15/03/2026 16:59

All you can do is appeal to to your son directly, about not going or at least taking work.
if he wants to go and you force it then it will only harm your relationship.

Logoplanter · 15/03/2026 17:37

To answer your questions:

It's a C100 you will need to complete. You'll need to ask for an urgent hearing, given it's so close to the date of the the holiday. Urgency is a reason to not do a MIAM, as is domestic abuse. Tick both boxes if making the application and provide evidence of the DA suffered.

It's fine to represent yourself. The court is likely to take a fairly dim view of a child missing school, particularly in GCSE year. If they authorise the child to go, they are authorising them missing school which doesn't fit with the government's stance on school attendance. They may also be opening you up to a fine for something you don't agree with.

Having said all that what you been to bare in mind is longer term you child might vote with their feet and choose to go and live with their father. Given the age of your child, if they do this it would be extremely unlikely the court would interfere with their decision.

It may well be worthwhile encouraging your child with their homework/revision around the holiday to try to mitigate the impact of the missed school on them, rather than taking the matter through the court.

Thelondonone · 15/03/2026 17:45

I’m a teacher and my daughter did her GCSEs last year. She didn’t miss any school but we did go skiing the first week of the Easter holiday (as did some of my alevel students). TikTok and not revising everyday will be having a much greater impact on his learning. I don’t think he should miss school but I wouldn’t go to these lengths to prevent it.

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