Having issues with my Mother

[Lovenandlight]

Hi everyone

I decided to cut my Mother out of my life 3 years ago after I become aware of some of her covert narcissistic traits. Since then she has been putting people against me spreading false information, getting one fact of the story but then making up her own around it so it looks believable, and using my niece against me also, which is upsetting because she is only 7 and shouldn’t have to deal with things like that.

She has done awful stuff and I would like to know if anyone has been in this situation with their mother before and what legal steps did you take? She has at times came to my neighbourhood and started talking lies to my neighbours and I’ve picked that up on cctv and reported it to the police. However I don’t think it’s enough to put a non molestation order against her.

It’s more the defamation of my character and the emotional abuse that she is still doing. Has anyone had any financial help with a cease and desist letter?

I am not sure a cease and desist letter will help you but if you want to do one you can prepare and send your own from a downloadable template. Just google for one.

I think a solicitors letter could be helpful if your mother hasn’t had legal dealings before. Those of us that have know that only a court can actually tell you want to do. I personally would go down the non mol route. Get a direct access barrister to cut costs.

It’s more the defamation of my character

How exactly do you believe she is defaming your character?

Whether libel (written/published, a Facebook status for example) or slander (spoken), in order to sue for defamation you must be able to show that her untrue statements have caused you 'serious harm'.

It's not sufficient that her actions are upsetting or distressing to you, they must have a tangible 'real world' impact, either financially (you've lost out on work as a direct result of her false statements), or on your reputation (you have become ostracized by your community because of a lie she has told about you).

To evidence slander, unless you have a recording of the incident, you will usually need witness statements from people who experienced it first hand. This is to corroborate what was said, to whom, and that the statement was intended to be taken seriously.

You can pay a solicitor to send a Letter Before Action, requesting that she stops making the comments, issues an apology, compensates you financially, or any number of things. It has no legal weight, and you don't have to follow through with it.

Only you will know if it's likely to have the intended effect, or if she'll use it as fuel for more drama.