Who pays the bills following bereavement?

[Itsnotthatgrimupnorth]

Following a bereavement my family home is solely occupied by my late father's partner. The house has been left to me in the will and there has been no pressure for the partner to move out.

The issue I need advice with is the bills. The partner seems to assume that because it's my house I pay the bills. My view is the partner is the person living there so the bills are their responsibility.

Can anyone suggest what my next steps are? I want to keep the relationship civil until the estate is settled but I feel their expectations are unreasonable.

Thank you

I don't think she will stay in the house long-term due to mobility issues. Also on a practical note it's too large for one person plus her link to being there has gone. If it was me I don't think I would want to stay because of the memories.

i am not, nor do i want, to put pressure on her to move out. And I hope I don't sound naive here. But once the will has been finalised the house will be sold.

Talking to other family members is a great idea and that's going to be my next step.

Thank you also for the condolences, they're very much appreciated

If you can id come over for a week to sort out the legal side of things, inspect the house, talk to her and her family.

Whatever you do, do NOT set up a formal rental agreement or accept rent from her informally.

You would be her Landlord and she would gain a tenant’s rights. With the impending Renters Rights Act, it might be difficult to get her to vacate.

In any case, being a Landlord has become quite complex and it would be quite easy to inadvertently fall foul of the law.

I think you would be wise to seek legal advice on how best to proceed.

They pay the bills. I'd be asking them for rent at the market rate too just for the cheek of them. Do you think they're annoyed that the house wasn't left to them?

I suggest you contact the probate department of all the utility companies currently contracted for the house. You will have to obtain meter readings and submit them. Then pay the outstanding bills.

Write to the partner on the following lines. Begin by stating that you have written to the utility companies and you will pay the bills outstanding at this date. Then write, as you know, my father wished you to stay in the house until you wish to move. The bills will need to be transferred into your name as you will be responsible for them while you live in the house.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can assist you in any way.

Where you live has nothing to do with exploitation
nor will a decision for her to pay her own bills
or charging rent
or deciding to sell the house immediately / advice her it’s the best course of action given what you’ve said ( in fact living further away justifies that more )

Its been left to you

Perhaps because your father owned the house and allowed her to live without paying towards the bills she sees you, the new owner as taking the place of your father who covered the bills.
She is wrong and of course you don't know what she was told by your father or if she is trying it on but make sure she knows roughly when you will put it on the market so she can make her own timeline to leave.

You have my condolences.

Sorry for your loss. What I think you need to remember is that if your father had lived alone and died, you would be clearing the house. To do this, you would probably need utilities, unless you could clear and clean the house without using any electric, gas or water, which is unlikely. You would also be waiting for probate before you were allowed to totally clear the house. I think you need to talk to your father's partner about what you both want to do long term, if she is buying you out, then it seems fair if she takes the bills. If she is simply staying there short-term while she finds somewhere else to rent or buy, then you might as well take over the bills, just like you would have done if she hadn't existed, and then she pays you for what she uses above the connection charges.

Who are the Executors? She is effectively drawing down her inheritance. Keep a tally of the sums and deduct it from her share of the Estate.

Selling the house will be interesting if she won’t move out. As she has no lifetime interest and wasn’t married, she should leave. I’d see a solicitor so you know how this might be done. You might not want to, but she might not want to go.

Usually the surviving partner is given the right in the will to stay in the house until they die. Have you seen the will?

OP, so sorry you have lost your father.

Was there anything in the Will about leavjng her a ‘life interest’ or allowing her to stay in the house for a set period of time? Or is it simply that the house is left to you?

Does he have her own money to buy or rent elsewhere?

Do you have a solicitor helping you with probate etc?

The bills were paid by her/her plus the deceased previously? So now they will simply have to be paid by her. If you are happy for her to stay then I can't see her having a leg to stand on trying to make you pay her utilities and CT.

You're perfectly within your rights to start charging her rent. Though depending on your relationship and financial circumstances you could charge less than market rate or decide not to charge at all as long as house is maintained. Until you need to sell.

Charging rent is a dangerous can of worms to open - do not do that. As soon as you avcept rent or money like rent you will give this woman a whole load of tenants rights which will make it really difficult to make her leave. If she refuses to leave you can't even apply for the courts to help you take possession unless you have all sorts of documentation like CO gas check safety etc. If you don't accept any rent then when you want her to leave she has the status of a trespasser, with no right to be there.

Simply let her know you will not be paying for any of her living costs. You will require her to leave when you are ready to sell but you are both grieving at the moment and both need some head space. If she chooses not to pay for water, electricity and communications services then the supplier companies will cut her off. That is not your problem. You must pay buildings insurance - that's not an expense that is her problem, it is your building. You may also want contents insurance covering your father's possessions if you believe the physical contents to be valuable.

I don’t think you should have to pay the bills but I do think it is incredibly bad of your father not to have included in the will that she can stay in the house. How long have they been together? I feel very sorry for her at 80 odd years of age to have lost her partner and now effectively being made homeless!

An 83yo living alone in a big house is not a good situation. There are lots of retirement complexes with modest flats for elderly people. My 83yo widowed MIL moved to one a couple of years ago and is doing a lot better. It's a lot easier to keep warm in a smaller space and easier to have everything you need to hand. If she depended on your dad for living costs, isn't inheriting a large amount of capital and can't afford rent she will be able to get housing support. If she will need LA help to get her a suitable place to live, you will be doing her a favour if you give her a formal letter confirming that she has no right to stay in your dad's house, is neither a tenant nor a legal occupant and must leave by (date). She needs such a letter aa proof that she needs help, so being tough is genuinely helpful.

Although in the same vein my dad lived to older and had no problem. Heating wise he could afford it just as much as other other person can and cleaning kept him fit an active

My Grandad stayed in his house without running water or a bathroom and having to get water from several fields away until he passed away aged 88.

Everyone is different and perhaps we shouldn’t assume older people aren’t capable and don’t have the finances to support themselves

No offence to your post which highlights the other side of course

If the property is now yours @Itsnotthatgrimupnorth you are being very kind allowing your dad’s partner to remain. They are clearly responsible for any utilities they use.

Who is acting as executor or your father's estate? It is really up to them to organise probate and arrange these matters. You will need a solicitor to sell the house so I would consult one now and ask them to formalise the arrangement with the partner.

When my surviving parent died the estate was in the hands of their solcitor as executor. My sister was foolishly paying bills that were pending such as telephone, gas etc. She was worried that she was getting demands from the council tax. She was asking me for a share and was most put out when I told her that all bills are debts of the estate should be sent to the executor to settle. Soicitors charge for these services so you do not "keep a dog and bark yourself."

I don't suppose either your dad or grandad were squatting in a property that didn't even belong to them though, were they.

What a cheeky f!

she is responsible for the bills, if she can’t afford to do so give her 2 months notice to leave. Refuse to put the bills in your name.

These are definitely her bills for living in the house. Equally a precedent might have been set with your father paying everything before. Fortunately he has left her money so she’s not being thrown out penniless. I think there are two strands here:

1. get a solicitor ASAP and share what will be happening ASAP with this woman ie you’re selling up and she needs to look for new accommodation - she’s 83 and it will take her time to find and move (and btw I’m 1000% behind you despite my next point).

2. to all women out there who think they’re ok just living with a man, here’s yet another story showing how you need to formalise arrangements

Agree 100%.

You don't own the house until probate is granted so you do not pay the bills. The estate will pay them. There may be no council tax whilst awaiting probate though not sure what happens if someone is in the house and they don't legally have a right to be there. All depends on what the will says about the partner and whether she has a legal right to remain. If she does then she pays the bills, if not then the executors are responsible for what is happening at the house just now.