Aquaintance on bail, wants us to support them when they answer bail for serious charges

[Ifeelsickandshocked]

I had a thread last week about people I know, but deleted it as the people were easily recognised. So, if you think you know what this is about (and it seems there are several people from my area on here), please do not mention anyone ir specifics.

The person was arrested for so thing serious. We met through the victim.

There are other charges as well, which were not reported, but also serious,

I heard from the person. They told me the charges and what happened, and to be honest, I felt sorry for them. I believed them, as the allegations seemed so very ridiculous.

They then contacted me again, wanting to meet up. Indid agree, but nothing was planned.

They contacted me again, asking about my partner and what they thought of it, and would they meet up with them.

The want my partner (not me), to go with them to the police onn thie baiil return date.

This makes no sense to me, I cannot see a reason for it.

My partner doesn't want to go, in fact they think I should avoid them. They were not close to this person and didn't communicate, only when they saw the victim, as it was the victim my partner was closer to, but they were obviously there too.

I feel torn. I don't want to believe that this person did what they are suspected of, but although they messages me a lot, I only saw them physically a few times,especially a year. I cannot, in all honesty have any idea what went on in the house,

My partner is sad about the victim, they were lovely and my partner was fond of them. I cannot understand how there is any suspicion, but there is.

The aquaintance is quite needy, I guess they are scared and need support, but I wouldn't say we were close as such.

Are there risks to this? My partner is confident to refuse to go to the police with them, but I'm more shy and easily swayed. Although I'm more confused about them being insistent to see my partner, rather than me, especially as I was the only contact and partner was only friendly with victim while alive.

If I support them and they become more needy, how do I manage this and is it a good idea considering the charges? Everyone's innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, so I don't want to presume guilt, but I was also fond of the victim .

It's all such a mess, but I don't want to be dragged into the whole thing, when I honestly don't know and wasn't that close to them.

The name was misspelt on social media, its the perfectly ordinary English spelling of the name without the extra 'a' (or other letters). She is English.

She wasnt in a supporting/caring role AFAIK, she was there for years, when he was healthy.

She does have family.

OP, are you sure you should be discussing the detail of this case online? You’re clearly trying to be vague but other posters have identified who you’re talking about. None of which is relevant to your actual question.

This is not what “learning to trust” should mean. You are not obligated to overcorrect and extend trust and support to everyone because you once or twice in the past were too suspicious and withholding for a relationship you did want to foster. You have gotten into a complex, enmeshed, relationship withH and H’s friend group and have overextended a business relationship and let it turn into a charitable one. That was error number one. Error number two was including friends of friends in the overextension. Don’t commit error number three and get involved with chronically helpless user number 2 when they have been creditably accused of harming friend H. Just stop being “shy” and people pleasing and learn to say “No, I am not doing that.” Stop setting your partner on fire to keep other people warm.

Is it even acceptable for a thread like this to be running about a possible crime?

Op. You seem to be enjoying the drama of this situation despite your handwringing regarding the mess you’ve found yourself in. Just tell the person not to contact you ever again. It really is as simple as that.