Separation and addiction

[Paperplanes2]

Father of our children has a drug addiction (crack) for the past 10 years with periods of stopping and then relapse. He has not used for the past 5 / 6 months however we are now separating, likely to live separately from the summer. I don’t know how to proceed with child care arrangements - obviously want the children to see him, they have a good relationship with him when not using and he’s an involved parent when not using. However, I won’t have oversight of any signs of relapse which ordinarily I would see as we were living together, plus him being alone in evenings, etc is likely to take some getting used to/ may be a trigger.
I’d like him to continue to have contact with the kids, but to undertake regular drug tests (I don’t know who would do this as he’s not with any addiction services), to not drive them anywhere initially, but I don’t know if this is enough and what is reasonable to request. Do we agree this informally? Has anyone else been through this?

You can negotiate it between you, but ultimately it depends how much trust you’re willing to place in him to be compliant with both a request to engage with substance misuse services, testing, and your wishes about not driving with the children in the car. Ultimately, you can’t trust somebody in active addiction (and being clean for a few months within the context of a ten-year period of active addiction, recovery, and relapse isn’t entirely reassuring), so formalising arrangements is probably the best way forward.

You need to raise your concerns with your solicitor. They will likely recommend Cafcass assessment, who can ask the court to make an order that he undergoes drug testing within the children proceedings. You can also express a preference and they can recommend that his contact is supervised at first - either by a third party you know, or in a contact centre - at least until he’s proven himself reliable and demonstrated that he is engaging with addiction services.