STBXH won’t sell the house. AIBU to ask what can be done

[needtosellmyhouse]

I split from my STBXH last August after discovering infidelity which was the final straw after controlling and emotionally abusive behaviour from him for months.

He refused to leave the house upon separation and due to how he was acting I felt uncomfortable and intimidated so couldn’t stay, therefore myself and toddler DC packed up all our belongings and have lived with my parents ever since- thankfully they have the space and are extremely supportive.

We jointly own the house together, neither can afford it independently so we put it on the market and accepted an offer within a week in November. We haven’t even instructed the conveyancing team yet as he has been dragging his feet every step along the way, ‘losing’ forms, ignoring emails and calls from the estate agent and solicitors and taking the maximum time to respond. The latest is that he will not sign the forms from the solicitors so they cannot produce the draft contracts until they have his consent as well as mine. Luckily we have what seem to be very patient first time buyers but I am quite sure they are going to get bored of waiting soon. What can I do, if anything? I’m stuck currently subsidising him living there as I am paying half the mortgage, which is an expense I don’t need, especially as I am working part time to care for DC. I believe that him obstructing is just another attempt to control me unfortunately, but in the long run it is disadvantaging everyone, him, me and DC. I’m so frightened the sale will fall through. His head seems firmly in the sand.

I’m trying to avoid any further legal costs because the equity is already going to be next to none, not sure if ex realises this. I put most of the deposit in, my parents paid for a couple of home renovations yet we will be losing cash thanks to the cost of moving so soon after we bought it. At this point I would happily walk away with 0 though just to sever the legal ties to him.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and what, if anything, can be done?

(Name changed due to the nature of the post being outing!)

Personally I would stop paying the mortgage until he complies and risk the poor credit rating.

You will still need an order setting out what will happen with the finances (even if it just says house sold, proceeds divided equally, otherwise keep all your own assets and debts, clean break)
otherwise, your financial claims against each other continue (even if you have nothing now, STBXH could make a future application and vice versa)
you should invite him to agree to this (directly or through solicitors) and then it can be recorded in an order and filed with the court once you have your conditional order.

Send a bill for rent for other women who you said had left clothes in house i.e. get proof of her occupation. Did you take photos of her clothes there as proof ? Also demand money for child's sold furniture or replacement. Take photos of empty child's room.

Sounds like a crappy situation to be in, hope you get it sorted asap.

One thing though, do NOT stop paying your half of the mortgage, this 'could' have repercussions later down the line, not just regarding defaulting/ccj's/bad credit... Lawyers may take a dip view to this action and could jeopardise your claim of funds from the divorce.. Obviously i'm not a legal eagle so all the above could be complete rubbish but....

Agree with this! You’ll be mad to risk your credit rating for future rental applications/mortgage etc.

It will take time to force a sale, yes. Which could cost you your buyers, as the court process is sloooooowwwww.

I separated from exh in summer 2009. We were in court (for the final time) in December 2012, I got a court order detailing the price house had to sell for if we got an offer, and an order that if he continued to frustrated the sale the Judge would take over. The house sold in May 2013.

Even in a short marriage with few assets you need to finalise the finances: this would include the sale of the house.

Please get legal advice. It’s a false economy not to. You can tell the sol that funds are limited and no equity, and to cut their cloth accordingly - obviously they won’t work for nothing but they will at least then know that pursuing expensive options is a no go.