Cafcass and family court

[abcdefg2020]

Hi just wondering what everyone’s experiences are with cafcass? Going through a child’s arrangement order and prohibited steps order at the moment, there is domestic violence involved

id appreciate any advice or stories

Are you the man or woman because from experience, they definitely favour the women even when the man is a good, caring father. Its diabolical really. Cafcass are terrible. Just make sure whats spoken about is documented word for word.

I am the woman in the situation. There is proof of the domestic violence, the coercion/control and emotional abuse.

we had 50/50 however he was controlling with situations with the children and guilt tripping me with the children to get his own way and make the decisions. There’s more too it than what I’m saying (police case involving sexual abuse) but I just wanted experiences as it sees to be going okay so far but I’m just nervous about him manipulating and making lies up (which he’s already started doing which have been debunked)

I only had initial safeguarding checks with cafcass and thought they were excellent. Trauma informed and listened to my children. Their initial safeguarding letter was detailed and protective of the children. The s7 in my case was then conducted by children’s services not Cafcass due to recent involvement. I’d recommend being completely open, giving them all the information they need (and more!) and reminding child focused throughout. I wish you all the best with the process, it’s not easy.

They will see through any lies and if you have solid evidence of the abuse ask for a fact finding hearing as youll be able to present this evidence to them. Its a long process and ultimately, the safety of the children is paramount. I do feel its unjust on some fathers that are genuinely good people though.

Have you got a solicitor or are you litigant in person?

So I’ve always been open about the fact that him as a dad is great, however the emotional abuse towards me and using the children to weaponise and abuse/control me is what I’m worried about. I explained how I don’t want them to not see him however I want him to know and have it written down that what he is doing is wrong and if Cafcass decides that him alienating them from me (they’re only 3&4) is going to damage them in the long run then unfortunately it’s his own actions that have caused this. He’s never been physically abusive to me or the children and has been an amazing dad it’s just purely the emotional abuse (I also reported and going through an investigation of him sexually abusing me on 2 occasions both while asleep - one while we weren’t even together anymore but living together) but that is separate to the children.

I was open and honest about my drug use/drinking when we broke up and during the time I was begging him to leave and he would refuse to go and use the children as a way of staying in my home (which only I rented) as he’s already used that as a weapon towards me being ‘unfit’ however I haven’t touched drugs or alcohol since September 2024 (I moved out of my home at the start of October) he’s trying to use my mental health which I’ve been practically mentally stable since I moved out and have been able to come off my anti psychotics & ant depressants within a couple months of moving out. Instead of understanding his actions he’s just trying to tarnish me as a mother

So I’ve always been open about the fact that him as a dad is great, however the emotional abuse towards me and using the children to weaponise and abuse/control me is what I’m worried about. I explained how I don’t want them to not see him however I want him to know and have it written down that what he is doing is wrong and if Cafcass decides that him alienating them from me (they’re only 3&4) is going to damage them in the long run then unfortunately it’s his own actions that have caused this. He’s never been physically abusive to me or the children and has been an amazing dad it’s just purely the emotional abuse (I also reported and going through an investigation of him sexually abusing me on 2 occasions both while asleep - one while we weren’t even together anymore but living together) but that is separate to the children.

I was open and honest about my drug use/drinking when we broke up and during the time I was begging him to leave and he would refuse to go and use the children as a way of staying in my home (which only I rented) as he’s already used that as a weapon towards me being ‘unfit’ however I haven’t touched drugs or alcohol since September 2024 (I moved out of my home at the start of October) he’s trying to use my mental health which I’ve been practically mentally stable since I moved out and have been able to come off my anti psychotics & ant depressants within a couple months of moving out. Instead of understanding his actions he’s just trying to tarnish me as a mother