Step-sibling executor of dad’s will?

[Question194]

My Dad has been married to my stepmother for 15+ years, I have stepsiblings (from stepmothers previous marriage). I am the eldest.

My Dad upped and left and moved in with them in another part of the country, they effectively got my Dad as their own and I rarely see him. We are ‘close’ in that we talk on the phone and I can rely on him to help if I need something and I know he feels deep guilt, but effectively he has a whole new family and I am very very much on the sidelines. My stepmother is a difficult woman and I have never felt fully welcomed. I never see or speak to step siblings but when we do we get on fine and I like them.

In a recent conversation I learned that they have made my step sibling executor of their will. Stepsibling is a solicitor and this was their reasoning for it. Their will is set up so that everything is split evenly between us.

Since learning this I can’t help but feel worried. Should I ask to be added as joint executor?

I think you are right to be worried, not because of the executor tbh but because your ‘laid back’ Dad is going to end up leaving you nothing at all. It happens a lot.

I come from a family that used to have money and some bits still do. It is interesting who is allowed to talk about money and inheritance and who isn’t. Rich families talk about this stuff. Yes it can be grabby but it’s also practical. Someone’s going to inherit and it matters, pretending it doesn’t is silly. Making wills and plans is a good thing to do - I made my first will aged 18.

A friend of mine was left her childhood home by her dad, with all his money going to his (fourth) wife. His wife was so furious that she contested the will. She was clearly willing to spend the entire estate trying to cut my friend out. (She did t win). I learned that contesting a will is a mug’s game, and that my friend’s dad was incredibly unusual in making actual legal provision for his only child.

I was worried about Dh if I died first - I knew he would meet someone else and I wasn’t convinced that ds’s interests would be protected. I talked to a solicitor about this. Sadly Dh died first.

Hace a conversation with your dad. Tbh I’d ignore the executor issue, except to say that family relationships come under strain when wills and intentions aren’t crystal clear. If he definitely means to leave you nothing, that’s what will probably happen at the moment. If his intentions are different , he needs to write them down.