I can’t face my r*pist in family court

[89floralstreet]

I just can’t do it. I can’t.

Fact finding coming up soon.

I have special measures already.

I can’t hear his voice. I haven’t been able to read his statement.

I have a solicitor, they said I will need to read it. They said I will have to listen to him in court. I know why, but I can’t.

Even an email from my solicitor sends me into full-blown shaking.

I want it to all go away, I feel like is no way out. I can’t keep reliving this trauma.

I have absolutely no advice. I just 100% know how you feel, being a victim of rpe too. The system is awful. Are there any advocates, victim support on offer? Anyone who can read things for you and summarise? I also have big struggles with this and I can't read certain emails or letters.

Sending you so much love and strength

Family court ? Is this about contact with your dc?

If there’s an option I would say don’t go.

Sending huge support. I couldn't either.

Yes, my child was born as the result of the r*pe. I reported it, went to SARC. I had injuries, so there is some evidence I suppose. Didn’t progress as I didn’t support it, I was too mentally unwell afterwards. I’ve done this to myself in a way, but I love my child.

I’ve asked for more support but it is for me to organise an ISVA, my local are busy and have a 10 month wait list for support when I enquired.

I just know I’m not going to be able to do it, I won’t be able to walk in to court.

This is horrific. Can't they find you an advocate or similar?

I am so sorry.

Find your local, grass roots domestic violence charity, I don't necessarily mean women's aid, your local one may be able to send a support worker to help you before the case and even during. Knowing you are 100% believed will make a difference, knowing you have someone who is tough as boots and won't take any nonsense on your behalf will help your confidence. It's worth a try.

Don't know what measures you have in place but have you been offered video link? You would be in a different room in court and perhaps be able to look away and turn the volume down when he is giving evidence.

Totally agree with fluffypants. A DA advisor/IDVA will be able to help you go through statements etc. It is absolutely DA for a rapist to mess you around in family courts about access, coercive control through litigation. What a disgrace of a human, the worst kind. Lots of love and kindness to you and your child ❤️

Can you ask if you can attend by video link, even from a separate room at the court and ask to have someone with you

That is horrific you should not be having to go through this at all I’m so sorry ❤️

Thank you all. It is my local domestic abuse charity that I have been to. Women’s aid don’t cover my area apparently?
I could have a video link, but I’ve been told I still need to listen to him, so we can address whatever he says.

I just can’t hear his voice. Just the thought of it, I can’t cope with it.

I have to go, I can’t get out of it. If I don’t go I will look the bad one and he might get contact.

Can you see your GP for more support too? I got prescribed beta blockers and it was suggested I could use them for court appearances.

I don't know if it's any help but there is a barrister Dr Charlotte Proudman of Proudman Law that has a special interest in these sort of cases

If you are on the waiting list for an ISVA, would that give you grounds to ask the court to postpone, until they are available?

Apologies if you have tried this. Sending lots of thoughts for you. It's absolutely horrific what you have been through.