Legally informed counselling or similar?

[brokenbycourt]

I was taken to family court re child arrangements and it came out awfully for me. Months later I remain very distressed by the outcome, which I think I am powerless to change. I think my solicitor may have advised me wrongly as well as misrepresenting me and I cannot understand why Cafcass and the judge did what they did. The judge said things verbally which caused me to wake with flashbacks for months afterwards, and gave me verbal instructions which are against my best instincts and values. These were not written in the court order and I do not think I have to follow them but my ex expects me to. There were lies and false accusations made about me that were never exposed as there was no fact finding.

I need to talk all this through and get support as I am really struggling emotionally and confused and hopeless and dont know what to do about certain things. However I cannot afford to pay a solicitor’s hourly rate for counselling.
The court process used all my savings and created thousands of pounds of debt so I am struggling to afford a mortgage despite an average income. Counsellors without legal knowledge cannot help me make any sense of it all. I believe I am not allowed to talk about what happened in court other than to legal or healthcare professionals.

I cannot be the only person broken by the family court process. Is there anywhere to go to talk it through that doesn’t cost £300 per hour? I feel like the legal system has chewed me up and spat me out ruined. I wish I had a family lawyer in the family but I don’t. Where do I go to make sense of it all? I wonder about doing a course or buying textbooks but some of my questions are so specific and the case unusual I think. I need to get to a point where I don’t break down into tears answering simple small talk questions about my life, and just can’t do it. Where can I go with my hours and hours of story to get understanding and clarification that won’t cost the earth or give me wrong advice?

i can’t answer your question but wanted to say i understand how hard it is when family courts cause so much trauma. it’s brutal and unforgiving and when it ends you are just left with an outcome.
i have a private counsellor that i talk to and she’s very sensible but not legally trained. just didn’t want you to feel alone in this

Thank you @ididntstartthefire I appreciate it.

I would suggest you seek counselling for your feelings. I’m not sure about legal counselling, not heard of that, you may need to get separate help for counselling and legal advice.

does your work place offer any such employee assistance program? You might have legal cover as part of home insurance? Could you get advice there?
community law services, CAB.

the family courts can be a brutal place.

Why does your counsellor have to understand the legal position? They are helping you to deal with trauma of what you experienced. They need to be an expert on trauma not the law.

you tell them what happened in your experience.

many people experience trauma from situations their therapist may not have experienced themselves or have any technical understanding of.

Honestly, I would download the ChatGPT app and put it all in there. Just be alert that it will validate your emotional position whatever it is - it's not a human and can't be objective - but it will definitely help you understand what happened from a legal and procedural point of view. You can even screenshot the order and upload it and other documents.

you could approach a psychologist who also works as an expert witness in the family court.

Thanks for all the ideas.
I think I need to understand where I’m wrong and where what happened was wrong and what if anything may I ever be able to do and when to put it right.
But I don’t really want (and can’t afford) to have that conversation with a solicitor who will ultimately be looking to make money out of more court hell. I’ve been led astray enough already I think, to solicitors’ gain. But I need to understand that as well.

So, you could see if you have free legal advice to see whether you have any redress. As others have said this might be through your home insurance or employee assistance programme.
im not sure how it works in law but when I complained about a medical situation I was offered a debrief with clinical staff to better understand what happened. This could be an option perhaps if the firm could do similar.