Would I know by now if I was an executor?

[Mrspebe]

DM died 10 years ago. DGD (her mother) died 3 weeks ago. GDG told me I was an executor and hinted she’d be leaving my sister and me money in her will. Asked my aunt (DGMs daughter) if I was an executor and she said no. I find this really odd as DGD said I was. Perhaps my aunt hasn’t actually seen the will but claims she has. Aunt also said my sister and I would ‘inherit a percentage’ but wouldn’t specify any more. It’s all very shady I just want to know what’s going on! Would I know by now if I was an executor and beneficiary?

I was asked to be executor so always knew

Are you sure there is a will?

do you know for certain any executor?

You should ask to see the will, if your aunt has not seen it how does she know who the executors and beneficiaries are?

I was asked to be the executor so was my sister. I asked my aunt if we needed to do anything as we were told we’re executors. She said she is the only executor and DGM meant that if my aunt died we’d be the executors then. DGM did not say this to me. I’m sure there is a will DGM had everything very organised. DM told me she had everything sorted down to writing her own funeral wishes. Who do I ask to see the will? My aunt? I know who the solicitor is. Do I contact them? I don’t want to go behind aunts back and upset anyone. We all get on but I don’t understand the shadiness. Is it appropriate to ask to see the will when she’s only been dead a few weeks?

Sorry should say be an executor not THE executor

It could be that although your DGM said you and your sister would be executors she never actually did a will with those intentions. So maybe there is an older will and that is what your aunt is referring to.

I'd ask aunt to show you the will, the names of the executors will be there, if she refuses then tell her not to worry you'll contact the solicitor. If family are executors the solicitor may not be involved.

Just contact the solicitor and tell them you were asked to be an executor and you would like a copy of the will in any event since you are a beneficiary. The solicitor should then tell you if you are or are not an executor.

contact Sol

hi, I am the DGD of the deceased xyz. I was told prior to her passing that my sister and I were executors. In case you don’t have my contact details, i thought best to initiate contact

The executors do not have to share a copy of the will with the beneficiaries. Once probate has been granted the will becomes a public document and anyone can apply for a copy. There is a small fee.

Are you sure the will was updated to include you though? It might not have been.

No automatic right to see the will- details here
https://www.butcherandrews.co.uk/2022/05/what-rights-do-estate-beneficiaries-have-to-information/
as I mentioned in pp you can see the will after probate has been granted and as a beneficiary you should receive a copy of the estate accounts.

The point is, OP believes she IS an executor therefore she has every right to see the will. If she turns out not to be, there is no reason why the actual Executor cannot reassure her by showing her the part of the Will that has the executor details on it.
OP, you can put a notification on a probate application via the Probate Office. This will let you know if probate has been applied for. It’s called a ‘standing search’
https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk

I’d tread carefully here. It makes sense that your grandma meant in the case of her other child dying before her. And if she didn’t mean that and you are the executor, you’ll be contacted. There’s no shadiness involved when it comes to wills - the solicitors will follow what it says.

You risk fracturing the relationship with your aunt if you now go behind her back to clarify something she’s already told you.

The only reason I’d contact them is if there’s a drip feed and your aunt has form for screwing people over. Given your grandmother mentioned inheritance, I’d assume she’d written it in for you and your DSis to inherit what would have been your mother’s share.

If a solicitor is involved and you are not an executor, s/he is under no obligation to release any information to you at all.
I think you have two options:

1. tell your aunt that your Gran told you and your sister that you would be her executors. If she still denies this, ask politely to see the bit of the will where the executors are named. If it is not you, back off. At this stage nobody else has the right to see the will.
2. wait until Probate has been granted, then buy a copy. You may have a long wait.

If your aunt is being dishonest and if there is no need for Probate, you may never know the answer. You could also gently enquire whether there might be any small items, photos etc you could be given before they are all lost or gone in a house clearance. It does happen. It all depends whether you are on good terms with your aunt really.

Aunt has already advised that OP is not an executor and given her an explanation for the possible confusion. She could ask to see the relevant page of the will, but if I were the aunt I would find the implication that I was lying to be quite upsetting.

Ask the. Solicitor to send you a copy of the will because there seems to be confusion about who are executors.

If you know the solicitors details contact them advising you believed that you were an executor. They can then either confirm that you were or no you are not. If you are they can share the will if you aren’t they can’t. As others have suggested it is possible that either your DGD didn’t make a new will making you an executor or she included you as reserve executors in the event of the death of the primary executors which might be your aunt.

The very fact the op has suspicions would indicate the relationship is far from close, healthy and positive

Sorry for the very slow reply I’ve been chasing toddlers round a soft play all day…

Thanks for all the replies it’s interesting to read all the perspectives. DGM and I were close, she was very sharp and organised despite being in her 90s. She phoned me about 12 months ago after my wedding to ensure she had the correct spelling of my new surname for her will.

It’s because I’m close with my aunt that I find it strange. Why not just say ‘I’ve seen the will you’re not an executor or beneficiary’ or ‘congrats op you’re getting x percent’. Why is it such a secret? I think I’ll probably just do nothing I don’t want to cause a rift. Presumably I’d have been contacted by now if I was an executor. Nothing about probate yet but it’s only been a few weeks so I presume it’s too soon.

I'm sorry for your loss, DGM sounds a great lady to have known.

It may be your Aunt is upset by the contents of the will e.g. there is more going to you & your sister than she expected. As others have said you can ask for formal confirmation whether or not you are an executor, ideally, the copy should come from your Aunt as the solicitor can only take instructions from the executors so won't be able to speak to you (assuming you're not an executor) without her consent (including for their fees for the time talking to you).

It's only been 3 weeks.
Give the aunt a bit of time to figure out what's what.
If there is a will, it will be actioned.
As someone else suggested, it makes sense you and your sister would get what would have been your mother's share.
Also as suggested earlier, it makes sense your aunt is named executor, with you and your sister (and maybe aunt's children if she has any) becoming executors if the aunt died before the grandmother.

Way too soon for probate and ime being an executor is at times a painful and time consuming task- constantly chasing companies/banks for information.

The person contacting you would be whoever has the will.when my DF died. No one contacted me because I knew I was an executer. I contacted the solicitor who held the will to let them know.
My will isn't held by a solicitor but the executors know who they are & where it is, so no one would be contacting them iyswim.

Thanks all. Will just wait and see what happens.

The funeral will have been paid out of the estate in all likelihood. That would have needed executors authority.

Were you involved with the funeral @Mrspebe ?