Inheritance from parents after separation

[SashayAwayy]

My parents are elderly and my brother and I will inherit their house when they pass away. Last night I spoke to my Mum and she expressed concerns that if they both pass away before I get divorced then my ex will be entitled to half. I’m currently in a no man’s land where we don’t know if we are having a trial separation.

My parents now want to contact a solicitor to arrange for (once I sell the house) for an amount per month to be paid to me instead of the whole amount. (Like an allowance) They plan to do the same for my brother as he has learning difficulties and would just spend the lot.

What are everyone’s thoughts? Thank you.

Get divorced as a trial separation is delaying the inevitable.

Selling the house - the house they’re living in, not your house? And I don’t understand why your parents want to give you an allowance? If it’s to hide the house proceeds money whilst you’re still married, rather than you getting a lump sum, your husband will put two and two together and question where the money is. You also have to declare all assets as part of the divorce negotiations.

Get the ball rolling this week to divorce.

I assume they want to set up a trust fund which would pay you & your brother a monthly income rather than a lump sum. This would mean that if you and your DH do separate you wouldn't have access to a lump sum towards a new property. Trust planning is complex and can be expensive in the long run if lawyers or accountants continue to be involved.

Do your parents have specific health concerns or are the very elderly?

Sorry, I wasn’t clear. I would be the one to sell the house once they have passed away.

Their house I mean.

for your brother, your parents should talk to Mencap and look up advice on how best to financially support an adult with learning difficulties. Just an allowance might mean he gets less support from the government and ends up losing out - there are ways to give better help.

Yes I think that’s what they are talking about. The house isn’t worth that much-£120,000 so it would be £60,000 each if it sells.

My parents don’t have any major health concerns however my Dad is 80 next year and my mum is 78.

You and they need proper legal advice about how to manage finances for your brother. There are trusts that you can set up for these circumstances, I'd start with the mencap website and see if they have pointers.

That's a different issue to you. They're right to be concerned that any money you inherit could be taken into account in a divorce settlement. If it's not clear to you what this trial separation is about I'd get some decent therapy and work it out pdq.

You still have to have full financial disclosure as part of the divorce negotiations. Are your parents aware of this? Only you know your husband, but I would be very nervous about this unless you’re sure he won’t want any of the money, in whatever form.

I am not a lawyer but as long as both parties needs are met ie ex and you when you divorce then it does not necessarily need to come into play. It really depends on your financial position without this inheritance in the mix.
If your financials are such that it would need to be in the mix. What your parents have suggested is potentially an option, but theyd definitely need to see a solicitor as in order for it not to be considered as your income, it would need to be discretionary and not to be relied upon as income. I am not sure whether this can be done in a trust.

He will be entitled unless you get a clean break financial order.

I did one after my divorce as knew my sneaky ex would go after my future inheritance.

If you’re in agreement regarding assets, you can get a consent order drafted up by the solicitor and ask them to include a clean break clause. This will severe any future financial ties. You have to fill out a d81 form and the order and form will be signed off by a judge.

In whole it cost around £1300 including solicitor fees and the order took about 8 weeks to be granted and signed off. I heard a lot that the judge would only grant it if you had similar amount of savings but mine was granted with me only having £4000 savings and no pension while my ex had £30000 savings and a large pension.

If you don’t agree with the finances, you will need to be in attendance mediation and get a financial order through the courts.

When my ex was being funny about the future inheritance, I told him he could either agree to the consent order or if he wanted my inheritance I would go after his savings and pension. That did the trick and he signed it.

You don't know if or when you will get an inheritance -it isn't guaranteed so surely can't be included in any financial calculations for divorce. I agree with PP who say get the divorce sorted now and please please please before the Absolut is issued get your financial order sorted out so your ex has no claim on future income whether its inheritance or a lottery win.

Your parents are mistaken. If you keep your inheritance separate from family finances the courts will attempt to preserve it for you. They will only dip into it if there is no other way to achieve a fair split. Your ex will not automatically get half of it.

Id try to keep things separate in your mind. Your parents need proper legal advice both for their plans for your brother and for you, and for their own financial planning. You need to work out what is going on in your relationship.

Is your partner a major risk in some way - gambling, addiction, fraud? That might increase the urgency a bit. Otherwise, I wouldnt be too influenced thinking about your marriage in this way.

Get on and get divorced - if you’re having a ‘trial separation’ then the writing’s on the wall.

Trial separations typically become full separations, don’t they?

Don’t drag it out - divorce him.