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Original poster

Can I file a PSO against ex's new BF/mother?

25 replies

PSOcase · 21/10/2025 20:28

Okay,

I asked a question before but under different username and someone found out who i was.

Anyway, i wish to ask before i spend a lot of money on mediation/court etc.
I wish to file a Prohibited Steps Order against my ex and I want to know if these reasons are valid and will i get one.

To summarise:
1. She is a drug user but she is receiving therapy for this so I believe she is trying to do something about it so I may just want her to be tested when kids are with her.
2.She has an ex-bf who keeps coming to her house to give her drugs(on debt) and he also has sex with her whilst kids are in the same house. My only issue is that, before, my kid wandered outside at past midnight whilst she was locked away having sex with him so it may happen many times over. I do not want this guy to come in the house when the kids are in her care(50/50 custody)
3.Ex's mum is also an addict and has been high and drunk whilst fully taking care of our children, ex has verbally told her to not and nothing more for over 3 years now(I only found out it has been happening). I want her gone or have supervised visits if needed; she has no hope at life as ex was fathered by a a random addict/drug dealer, who knows.
4.She has another ex-bf who was jailed before for harassing and stalking her and our children, now he is back with her as FWB(he has been to her house which i believe is a risk to our kids now that he knows where our kids live). There was a safeguarding around this for our kids which is clearly a big matter that I am addressing tomorrow with my solicitor of my evidence is enough to prove it.

Some legal people, please advise, I do not have much money to throw around so I just do not want to keep wasting money on a solicitor who may keep charging me hourly and not getting anywhere with the issue.

Do you think, i will prevail getting it against the three people? we currently have mutual agreement for 50/50 and I do not want to reduce it, I do not mind having full custody if worse comes to worse.

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 21/10/2025 20:33

How do you know all this information about what goes on behind closed doors at your ex's house?

Bannedontherun · 21/10/2025 20:52

Taking on face value that what you say is true, i do not think a PSO is the correct mechanism in the circumstances.

seems to me the only and proper remedy is to seek an emergency hearing on the basis that your children are at significant risk of harm and should be placed with you until a full and proper investigation (S47 is ordered to be conducted by the Court)

You will require some evidence to back up what you say.

Original poster
PSOcase · 21/10/2025 21:05

DiscoBob · 21/10/2025 20:33

How do you know all this information about what goes on behind closed doors at your ex's house?

She gets high and tells me all these things when we have been around each other at kids parties, family time etc and she has had times she would somehow find it okay to brag about her sexual exploits and I found it very necessary to obtain evidence before any action and I knew as a man i would likely not stand a chance legally if I just said it verbally.

I have all the evidence of her texts, verbally saying it, voice notes, videos etc

I do intent to have a safeguarding raised but I also want this PSO

OP posts:
Bunnie007 · 21/10/2025 21:08

You need to contact social services and keep contacting them stating that your children are at high risk of harm if with their mum. I think overnights need to stop with her and supervised day visits would be most I would want. It is clear she is not able to safeguard the children.

Hayley1256 · 21/10/2025 21:11

You need to safeguard your children, there's no way I would let her be alone with them.

Cerialkiller · 21/10/2025 21:25

Bunnie007 · 21/10/2025 21:08

You need to contact social services and keep contacting them stating that your children are at high risk of harm if with their mum. I think overnights need to stop with her and supervised day visits would be most I would want. It is clear she is not able to safeguard the children.

this. If you know/plausibly suspect that your ex is a live drug user while she is with the children or she has a bf in the house with the kids who is a live drug user, i.e. there is drug taking in the house while they are there then urgent ss call I think. If its more serious then weed then doubly so.

Focus on the welfair of the children in the call, that you are concerned thet they will see/touch drugs in the house if you think this may be the case.

There is no real chance that they will make her take a drug test everytime she has the kids but if you take her to court to have the kids live with you permenantly you could ask for a hair strand test as part of your evidence that she is an unfit parent.

Just to be aware that it takes a lot for a parent to lose residency of a child, kids are sent back to live with abusive and neglectful parents all the time as its considered beter then the alternative. It likely won't be enough that she is a current drug user, she would need to be putting the children at risk and you need cridible evidence of this, ideally multiple reports from police, social services as well as other supporting evidence, texts, emails, criminal records etc.

Saying all this, it is still worth doing, at the least it may give her a kick up the arse!

Original poster
PSOcase · 21/10/2025 21:48

Cerialkiller · 21/10/2025 21:25

this. If you know/plausibly suspect that your ex is a live drug user while she is with the children or she has a bf in the house with the kids who is a live drug user, i.e. there is drug taking in the house while they are there then urgent ss call I think. If its more serious then weed then doubly so.

Focus on the welfair of the children in the call, that you are concerned thet they will see/touch drugs in the house if you think this may be the case.

There is no real chance that they will make her take a drug test everytime she has the kids but if you take her to court to have the kids live with you permenantly you could ask for a hair strand test as part of your evidence that she is an unfit parent.

Just to be aware that it takes a lot for a parent to lose residency of a child, kids are sent back to live with abusive and neglectful parents all the time as its considered beter then the alternative. It likely won't be enough that she is a current drug user, she would need to be putting the children at risk and you need cridible evidence of this, ideally multiple reports from police, social services as well as other supporting evidence, texts, emails, criminal records etc.

Saying all this, it is still worth doing, at the least it may give her a kick up the arse!

Show quote history

i appreciate all the responses so far guys.

OP posts:
Bannedontherun · 21/10/2025 22:09

@PSOcase Most of the posters here are women not guys

TealSapphire · 21/10/2025 22:56

I remember the OP. He has access to cameras at the ex's house that's why he knows everything going on.

Since your last post have you done nothing? Seriously, call the police or social services. File a request yourself with the court or look into legal aid. Randoms on the internet can't accurately predict a judge's directions.

Original poster
PSOcase · 21/10/2025 23:27

TealSapphire · 21/10/2025 22:56

I remember the OP. He has access to cameras at the ex's house that's why he knows everything going on.

Since your last post have you done nothing? Seriously, call the police or social services. File a request yourself with the court or look into legal aid. Randoms on the internet can't accurately predict a judge's directions.

I had the solitor postpone our meeting to Friday now so I am going there.

I am just scared I will be looked at weirdly for how I gathered the evidence also (I won't bring the cameras )

OP posts:
Original poster
PSOcase · 21/10/2025 23:28

Bannedontherun · 21/10/2025 22:09

@PSOcase Most of the posters here are women not guys

I uses guys as an informal term for a person or a group of people, regardless of gender.

Guy however as a singular is gender specific.

OP posts:
everychildmatters · 21/10/2025 23:59

OP - did your ex know about the filming?

TheSmallAssassin · 22/10/2025 08:31

PSOcase · 21/10/2025 23:28

I uses guys as an informal term for a person or a group of people, regardless of gender.

Guy however as a singular is gender specific.

Show quote history

You might think guys is gender neutral, but lots of women don't. Given you are here asking us to give you advice, maybe have a bit of courtesy and respect that?

bigboykitty · 22/10/2025 08:34

Oh it's you again...

Original poster
PSOcase · 22/10/2025 10:35

TheSmallAssassin · 22/10/2025 08:31

You might think guys is gender neutral, but lots of women don't. Given you are here asking us to give you advice, maybe have a bit of courtesy and respect that?

Show quote history

I do not mean to offend you all but unless someone says it's offensive to them, I wouldn't speak for everyone .

Oxford dictionary gives my definition of guys and so do every dictionary and Google .

With that said ,I do take your own opinion into account to not call you specifically "guys". I know many women who call a group of people guys and not once have they raised an issue

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 22/10/2025 10:59

I'd stop digging, if I were you @PSOcase

everychildmatters · 22/10/2025 12:17

Still curious to know about the filming...

Original poster
PSOcase · 22/10/2025 13:00

TheSmallAssassin · 22/10/2025 10:59

I'd stop digging, if I were you @PSOcase

digging at what? i merely just pointed out the definition of the word. No worries, have a lovely one.

OP posts:
Original poster
PSOcase · 22/10/2025 13:02

everychildmatters · 22/10/2025 12:17

Still curious to know about the filming...

Hi,

Yes , she knows, she has seen the footage each time she sobers up and has a million apologies and promises to fix up, it has happened atleast 7 times and within weeks she is back to the same appalling behaviours.

I have just reached a point of no return . Spoke to the solicitor just an hour ago and I am submitting all the evidence when I attend.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 22/10/2025 13:09

You shouldn't be filming her.

TeddySchnauzer · 22/10/2025 14:51

This all sounds very hyperbolic. My ex made very similar accusations about me…. 100% of it was false and entirely fabricated. I’m nothing like that sort of person. So forgive me for not immediately jumping on the bandwagon here and agreeing as to how awful your ex must be…

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 22/10/2025 15:05

And you keep starting threads about your children's mother, then you delete them and start again.

bigboykitty · 22/10/2025 18:36

Sounds like a stalker to me.

Original poster
PSOcase · 22/10/2025 20:51

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 22/10/2025 15:05

And you keep starting threads about your children's mother, then you delete them and start again.

Nothing has been deleted.

Anyway, I am stopping my posts as I think some people are affecting my view and the courage I had build up to take this issue all the well.

signing out

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 22/10/2025 21:56

PSOcase · 22/10/2025 20:51

Nothing has been deleted.

Anyway, I am stopping my posts as I think some people are affecting my view and the courage I had build up to take this issue all the well.

signing out

Show quote history

I meant that you change user names and start new threads on exactly the same subject, no doubt hoping for different advice each time.

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