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Original poster

Mother wants to put her house in a trust. Advice?

177 replies

fishtank12345 · 15/10/2025 15:06

Hello

My mum does not want her husband to be able to sell her house as she wants my kids to have it ( im an only child) so she wants to make a trust will and name me as trustee but her husband will need to live there until death if she goes 1st ( she is older than him )

I do not like this man. He has has only ever financially abused my mother and currently has a lot of debt in his name.

This is not his home land she worries he will sell up and go back home with all the money and he doesn't deserve to be able to take it all and run.

Advice welcome ? Also if we are trustees then does he need to be as well? As I imagine that just would be crap too.

OP posts:
notatinydancer · 17/10/2025 07:00

fishtank12345 · 16/10/2025 12:12

So she still has a mortgage with a few years left and they said they cant put house in a trust because of that... bummer.

Mine is mortgaged and in a trust. The mortgage will be paid off by life insurance if I die whilst I still have the mortgage.

Cheese55 · 17/10/2025 07:02

Tumbler2121 · 15/10/2025 15:51

Many people put their house in a trust to ensure that it cannot be used towards care for them as they get older.

This is all very well for the people who inherit, but it does mean that the elderly person cannot go into a nice care home. They have to take what they’re given by the state..

as long as your mother realises this

You do realise that in most cities the 'state' care homes are the same as the 'nice' ones, the difference is that some people in them are paying and some are funded by the local authority!

SparklyGlitterballs · 17/10/2025 07:09

You don't necessarily have to give him a right of occupation until he dies I believe. A friend of mine had in her will that her partner could live in the house for 12 months after her death. This was three years ago that she died, but they were never married, just lived together 20+ years). Get legal advice whether you can specify a time frame for him being there (to give him time to find an alternative place). If he's in massive debt then I doubt he'll be spending out on the upkeep of the place. You need two people to act as trustees, one main one and a secondary (in case anything happens to the first person). Doesn't have to be the husband.

Leavesfalling · 17/10/2025 07:56

SparklyGlitterballs · 17/10/2025 07:09

You don't necessarily have to give him a right of occupation until he dies I believe. A friend of mine had in her will that her partner could live in the house for 12 months after her death. This was three years ago that she died, but they were never married, just lived together 20+ years). Get legal advice whether you can specify a time frame for him being there (to give him time to find an alternative place). If he's in massive debt then I doubt he'll be spending out on the upkeep of the place. You need two people to act as trustees, one main one and a secondary (in case anything happens to the first person). Doesn't have to be the husband.

A spouse has significant legal rights. A partner can only contest a will in limited circumstances. So as the OPs mum is married to this man, a right of occupation for a year may be insufficient. Often the starting point might be how assets would be divided in a divorce and then go from there.

ParmaVioletTea · 17/10/2025 08:25

Apologies for the multiple posts. It kept not posting (so I thought). I’ve reported myself.

Hoppinggreen · 17/10/2025 09:11

ScrollingLeaves · 16/10/2025 18:35

Get legal advice about what @Hoppinggreen says.

If it is ‘his’ in any way he could sell it and go off with the money.That happened to someone I know. The other person was supposed to have the house for their lifetime only ( tgat was in the will) but nothing stopped the other selling and getting the lot.

Show quote history

I agree do get proper Legal Advice but I checked with my Solicitor and in our case he definitely cannot sell the house

Isabelle70 · 17/10/2025 09:25

I would be seeking proper formal tax advice, for our UK based settlors and and beneficiaries we mainly use Grant Thornton, BGM, Affinia and Bruges-Salmon in the UK. Of all of them, BGM is the most cost effective.

prh47bridge · 17/10/2025 10:54

The tax position of life interest trusts created in wills is well known. There should be no need to get advice from a specialist.

The tenant of a life interest trust cannot sell the property as it is not theirs to sell. However, life interest trusts these days are written in a way that allows them to downsize or move elsewhere if they wish whilst protecting the interests of those who will ultimately inherit.

Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 12:11

Leavesfalling · 17/10/2025 00:31

I thought she was talking about post death (ie what her mother is thinking about putting in her will) and there were suggestions of a life interest will trust. So the mortgage would need to be paid off before the house goes into trust. As lenders don't like trusts in my experience.

Show quote history

My mum has insurance that means the house will be paid off when she dies, she said. It may be paid off before she dies though with extra payments. Her husbands name is not on the house but she apparently had to sign a thing that stated she wont make him homeless when she took the mortgage out...

I did stress that he could contest as he gives her money towards mortgage but she said the lawyer said he wont be able to if I am the one who is on the will.

He also said if it was in a trust I would be her husbands landlord, I just don't know what to believe and mum is taking the lawyers words over any concerns I have. We are in Scotland.

OP posts:
Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 12:18

SparklyGlitterballs · 17/10/2025 07:09

You don't necessarily have to give him a right of occupation until he dies I believe. A friend of mine had in her will that her partner could live in the house for 12 months after her death. This was three years ago that she died, but they were never married, just lived together 20+ years). Get legal advice whether you can specify a time frame for him being there (to give him time to find an alternative place). If he's in massive debt then I doubt he'll be spending out on the upkeep of the place. You need two people to act as trustees, one main one and a secondary (in case anything happens to the first person). Doesn't have to be the husband.

unfortunately she is wanting him to stay there until he decides to leave or dies... It is annoying for us as its for my girls future to have a stable rood over their heads, and he could live into his 90s like his dad and then my girls will be middle aged, Of course they have this place too that they will inherit from me and their dad.

The girls have autism, I know they might well do well in their chosen careers when the time comes but we have had a lot of housing instability as a family and when I was a child we were even in a homeless unit in Glasgow so It was pretty traumatizing.

It doesn't help I see this man as a leech (like someone else upthread commented lol) He is husband number 4 for my mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 12:20

To add it was my mums wishes and idea to leave her house to the girls so they will always have a roof each, or they might live together, I have no idea!

OP posts:
Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 14:05

What makes all this peculiar is that your mother is seemingly living with a man she doesn’t remotely love or trust.

Why isn’t your focus on helping your mother extract yourself from what sounds like a profoundly unpleasant life

Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 14:22

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 14:05

What makes all this peculiar is that your mother is seemingly living with a man she doesn’t remotely love or trust.

Why isn’t your focus on helping your mother extract yourself from what sounds like a profoundly unpleasant life

She just is very co dependent its quite sad, she let's him away with everything. I am quite vocal about it. It has been a big issue and caused stress.

OP posts:
Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 14:27

So she’s arranging and meeting with the solicitor without telling him? That’s quite brave and indepndent

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 14:28

How long have they been together? Does he have children?

Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 14:46

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 14:27

So she’s arranging and meeting with the solicitor without telling him? That’s quite brave and indepndent

yes. I agree. She also told me she had to get 2 loans in her name to send back home for him... one was at least 7k she didn't want me to know anymore. I feel quite sick. This all just came out.

OP posts:
Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 14:47

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 14:28

How long have they been together? Does he have children?

20 years, no kids, I am an only child, she couldn't have anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 14:50

Adirtyspoon · 17/10/2025 14:28

How long have they been together? Does he have children?

No he came here I wont say how... and then they met and got married so fast, I wasn't even there! I was around 15 or 16 at the time , Didn't live with her. His religion meant they needed to be married fast to be together. He even used a false name at first, and he is a known liar still.

But... She loves him, despite all this awfulness.

OP posts:
Onthemove82 · 17/10/2025 14:50

fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 14:46

yes. I agree. She also told me she had to get 2 loans in her name to send back home for him... one was at least 7k she didn't want me to know anymore. I feel quite sick. This all just came out.

Show quote history

“To send back home for him”. I don’t understand?

If she’s managed to find, book and meet a lawyer all without telling her husband who is she supposedly co dependent on, then she isn’t co dependent on him.

Are you sure she did go to the lawyer?

Onthemove82 · 17/10/2025 14:51

Ok so it was some kind of holiday fling or similar
and 20 years still together but did he have citizenship?!!

godmum56 · 17/10/2025 15:24

fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 12:11

My mum has insurance that means the house will be paid off when she dies, she said. It may be paid off before she dies though with extra payments. Her husbands name is not on the house but she apparently had to sign a thing that stated she wont make him homeless when she took the mortgage out...

I did stress that he could contest as he gives her money towards mortgage but she said the lawyer said he wont be able to if I am the one who is on the will.

He also said if it was in a trust I would be her husbands landlord, I just don't know what to believe and mum is taking the lawyers words over any concerns I have. We are in Scotland.

Show quote history

I find this VERY confusing. I am not a legal beagle. Unless he put money into the house or the mortgage, I don't see why the loan company should care if he is made homeless. If your mother has got life insurance tied to the mortgage then I am not sure why the loan company won't allow a trust or would dislike one put into a will. If she just had life insurance that is not tied to the mortgage, then there might be a glimmer there but honestly (and I know that understandably, you'd like the house to go to your children), then I think you should have a really straight talk with your mum and if you can afford it, take some legal advice of your own. I am not sure if your Mum is getting confused for whatever reason or she is maybe not telling you everything but you are risking gettting involved ina proper dog's breakfast and an expensive one at that. I am not going into detail on here but I have experienced similar, it was very stressful, ate up a big chunk of the estate and didn't end well.

Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 16:14

godmum56 · 17/10/2025 15:24

I find this VERY confusing. I am not a legal beagle. Unless he put money into the house or the mortgage, I don't see why the loan company should care if he is made homeless. If your mother has got life insurance tied to the mortgage then I am not sure why the loan company won't allow a trust or would dislike one put into a will. If she just had life insurance that is not tied to the mortgage, then there might be a glimmer there but honestly (and I know that understandably, you'd like the house to go to your children), then I think you should have a really straight talk with your mum and if you can afford it, take some legal advice of your own. I am not sure if your Mum is getting confused for whatever reason or she is maybe not telling you everything but you are risking gettting involved ina proper dog's breakfast and an expensive one at that. I am not going into detail on here but I have experienced similar, it was very stressful, ate up a big chunk of the estate and didn't end well.

Show quote history

Thank you, I am confused too, and yes, my mum tends to just tell me " what i need to know " and hides things until she ends up blabbing due to some other thing bringing it up. It's very frustrating all round.

OP posts:
Original poster
fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 16:17

Onthemove82 · 17/10/2025 14:51

Ok so it was some kind of holiday fling or similar
and 20 years still together but did he have citizenship?!!

No he came illegally then met and married her fast. Then he was going to be deported so he went home and mum had to go through all the visa stuff. Eventually she got him back here. He now has a British passport. His family always ask for money but the amounts have gotten bigger. I wonder if he is filtering it away over there. But no idea and she won't listen to me.

OP posts:
godmum56 · 17/10/2025 16:25

fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 16:14

Thank you, I am confused too, and yes, my mum tends to just tell me " what i need to know " and hides things until she ends up blabbing due to some other thing bringing it up. It's very frustrating all round.

Show quote history

ok, my best advice to you is a conversation with your mum where you say "Mum, I love you but I know you aren't telling me everything and unless you do, I am going to step away now. You had better name another executor that is nothing to do with me or the fam because I will not do this." Honestly I know (believe) that you love your Mum but you are digging a big hole in a pile of shit that can collapse on top of you. And make clear this is her one chance to be completely honest.
This from the government website "As a personal representative (an executor or administrator) you’re legally responsible for the money, property and possessions of the person who died (the ‘estate’s assets’)."

Please, please be careful.

Rogerthat14 · 18/10/2025 15:22

fishtank12345 · 17/10/2025 16:17

No he came illegally then met and married her fast. Then he was going to be deported so he went home and mum had to go through all the visa stuff. Eventually she got him back here. He now has a British passport. His family always ask for money but the amounts have gotten bigger. I wonder if he is filtering it away over there. But no idea and she won't listen to me.

Show quote history

I don’t think she went to the solicitors op
she’s blowing smoke up your ass