Financial split if one partner is a gambling addict?

[PrivateCry]

My DH is a gambling addict and I am considering separation / divorce after the last relapse episode (£25k in cards and loans).

I haven’t consulted a solicitor. We have been together 25 years and before either of us started earning much. I am the bigger earner and have a larger pension but we both work full time and could potentially support ourselves independently if debts were paid off. We have 2 children (10 and 14). He isn’t on the mortgage (for obvious reasons) and has impacted our finances severely on 3 occasions that I am aware of.

I will shortly be coming into some inheritance which will add c £100k to our savings. I still love him and, addiction aside, he is a good father. Of course I want him to be housed and happy and rightfully set up so we can look after the children together 50/50 if we do split. I could potentially keep the house as the higher earner.

But I am really worried that I will be forced to hand over 50% of everything for him to potentially p**s is up the wind. With his history, is there anything I can do about the split of assets to prevent this? Such as ensure a % of his split goes in trust to my children, for example?

I know I have no control over what he does if we’re not together but wondered if there might be any potential protection or anyone has a similar experience they could share.

You need to ensure the inheritance goes to DC rather than to you, or you can kiss half of it goodbye.

You can’t control what he does with his share of the assets, no.

You need to keep your inheritance separate from family finances not “our savings”, and ensure it isn’t used for marital assets. If you can get DH to agree that this is the best course of action based on his gambling, having a legal agreement drawn up which says as much is an excellent idea. Whilst this doesn’t absolutely guarantee that it couldn’t be considered in the divorce settlement (which will depend on what other money and assets are available to put you both at parity post-divorce) it does provide clear evidence of both of your intentions which will hold weight.

You can’t insist that a proportion of his settlement is put in trust for the children because of his gambling any more than he could insist that a proportion of yours was put in trust in case you remarried and left everything to your new husband. The divorce settlement is about meeting each of your financial needs for your lifetimes, not providing for your children’s inheritances. Ultimately the best way to ensure you can put something away for your children’s inheritances is to divorce, so that you have control of this and aren’t bailing him out with that money.

Can you divorce him before you get the inheritance ? I would be doing anything I could so he doesn’t get that money . That is your children’s future he is pissing up the wall.

You can do a deed of trust to divert an inheritance to dc. Why not? It’s your inheritance and your decision. I’d consult a solicitor though.

You need legal advice as a matter of urgency and to commence divorce proceedings.

Your inheritance will not be counted as a marital asset provided you get on with the separation and divorce immediately.

Addicts ruin lives. Not only their own, but those of anyone who gets sucked into their orbit.

If OP’s DH agreed to doing this, then it would hold. If she did it unilaterally and then shortly afterwards files for divorce, it will be considered as a deliberate attempt to try to exclude that money from the settlement, and can be contested.

Thank you everyone, just needed a minute to regain my composure 😢

Yes, I do need to secure it. Though I may also need to use it myself. But if I can separate it immediately, I will.

Thank you @ComtesseDeSpair- your reply is really helpful and hopefully the separation of the inheritance is something he will agree to.

I don’t think so. We are not even separated yet and the inheritance is likely to conclude end of this year.

Although we are in separate rooms. He can’t move out because of the new debts. Does separation legally mean living under different roofs?

"our savings" are you insane? Get him away from your money.

I know you are right. I feel like I am wading through treacle at the moment - this has really knocked me off course and I am struggling to think straight. I feel really overwhelmed. I know that is normal.

No, you won’t get away with that.

Has the person already died? If not, ask them to leave the money to your DC in trust, with you as the executor.

If you mean they are already dead and you are waiting for probate, I think that ship has sailed.

You can file for divorce yourself online for around £600. This sets the ball in motion and, importantly, sets the date. Do not pass your inheritance directly to your kids. You're going to need the money.

https://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce

Also speak to Women's Aid. His gambling debts should not be visited upon you and your children. And god knows what else he's been hiding and lying about. Get out fast and save yourself.

I am not liable for his gambling debts. Our finances are entirely separated (hence he isn’t on the mortgage).

I get this is the legal board and I am probably quite emotional at the moment, but this feels harsh and a bit tone deaf @Zempy

I am not trying to ‘get away’ with anything. And yes, the person (mother) is already dead.

Inheritance isn't always automatically included in a divorce settlement, but you need proper legal advice on this.

So sorry @PrivateCry I wish you could “get away with it!” as it seems totally unfair in your situation.

I hope he agrees to a sensible arrangement.

The House may still be seen as a marital asset so him being on the mortagage or not is irrelevant

This is the position. A trust might be ok and DH might agree to it anyway if he loves dc.

Regarding the inheritance, there is some poor advice on this thread. Putting it into a trust for the children or diverting it to your children won't make any difference if you divorce in the near future. The courts are likely to view that as a transaction intended to prevent or reduce financial relief, which means they can set it aside. However, provided you keep your inheritance separate from any matrimonial assets, the courts will try to preserve it for you and will only dip into it if there is no other way to achieve a fair split.

It is a myth that the assets are always split 50/50 in the event of a divorce. That is the starting point for the courts, but there are a number of factors they look at which can shift things away from that. If your husband has been gambling away marital assets, that is likely to reduce the amount he gets on divorce.

You really need to see a solicitor to get proper advice rather than consulting internet randoms who may not know the law and who certainly don't have all the information needed on your situation. Once a solicitor is in possession of all the facts, they will be able to advise on the likely outcome and on any steps you may be able to take to protect your assets.

Don’t put the inheritance into a joint account. I believe it then remains your money, rather than family money.

I wouldn’t stay with a gambler. Also ends in tears.

So sorry, clearly just being emotional and misreading. Thanks for the reply.

Thanks @Hoppinggreen- I was replying to @Sicarioto say I wasn’t financially tied in terms of debts. I am aware the home is a marital asset. As are savings. Even if mortgage is in my name.