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Ex wants more contact to avoid paying

7 replies

Bizzimummy · 09/10/2025 11:54

I have a 13yo daughter. Split with her dad when she was 2. Since then he’s been having her Saturday night and never once asked for more nights.
I recently asked him for more money as was only getting £100 a month. He earns just short of £47k a year. He refused so I went to CMS. They awarded me a lot more and he obviously doesn’t like it
he Starts messaging saying he wants 50/50 like 3 nights a week and even went to a solicitor as I got a letter of his demands.
my daughter is happy with the current arrangements of Saturday night, she also knows she can go see her dad whenever she wants to, I’d never stop her. she has a good school routine and a few after school activity’s etc.
The situation is making me anxious. He is only doing this to avoid paying extra money. Why should my child at 13 change her routine? Would a judge see through him or would she be forced to spend more time at her dad’s? I don’t think it’s fair to drag my child through a court process, especially when she is going through the whole puberty stage and doesn’t deal with any changes particularly well at all. ( we moved the kitchen bin recently to a different corner of the kitchen and that really bothered her)
would be grateful for some helpful legal advice please

OP posts:
zipadeedodah · 09/10/2025 11:57

She's able to decide for herself at that age. I really can't see a judge forcing her to see her dad if she doesn't want to

NewHat · 09/10/2025 11:58

Does he live close enough to her school? Could you do one week each instead of three nights a week?

I think this happens a lot. I’d go along with it I think. Surely he will realise all his bills will go up if he has an extra person living with him.

ComfortFoodCafe · 09/10/2025 12:17

Shes able to decide for herself, a judge wouldnt force her to spend more nights there if she doesnt want too.

Bizzimummy · 09/10/2025 12:22

NewHat · 09/10/2025 11:58

Does he live close enough to her school? Could you do one week each instead of three nights a week?

I think this happens a lot. I’d go along with it I think. Surely he will realise all his bills will go up if he has an extra person living with him.

He lives pretty much same distance but a different route. I’ve asked him if he’ll take her and pick her up, his answer was she can walk

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 09/10/2025 12:30

At 13yo I would hope a court would take what she wants into consideration.

Is there a reason she can’t walk or take public transport to school? His comment seems to indicate it is walking distance, is that not the case?

NewHat · 09/10/2025 12:30

So he’s definitely not willing to do any actual parenting duties then! What a dick.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 09/10/2025 12:32

File the letter away in the B1N file..
At 13 your dd can be wherever she wants to be.
Once my dc started secondary school I never had any contact with exh. Our dc made their own plans.

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