Will and mental capacity

[Tiredallthetimeneedsleep]

A friend’s adult sister has lived with their elderly mother her entire life. The mother, now in her 70s, recently came out of hospital and appears to have possible undiagnosed dementia. She’s afraid of the daughter she lives with, who is extremely controlling — she won’t let her mother open her post or use the living room. Worryingly, the mother recently asked her grandson, “Do you think your mum would push me down the stairs?”
It’s now been discovered that the mother made a will leaving everything to this daughter (referred to as “DD”), specifically excluding her seven other adult children. At the same time, DD is redecorating the entire house to her own taste.
My friend isn’t concerned about who inherits, but is alarmed at the apparent manipulation. Shouldn’t the solicitor have ensured the mother had full mental capacity when the will was made? The whole situation seems suspicious and potentially coercive.

I'd be reporting this to adult safeguarding at the local council.

How much have the other 7 adult children been supporting their mother with meeting her needs staying in her own home?

The fact she may have dementia does not necessarily mean that she lacks testamentary capacity. The bigger issue here is possible coercion.

I think that this needs unpicking. Someone can have capacity (ie no or minor dementia) and still be in a coercive relationship. A will made when a person has capacity still stands when capacity is lost. Similarly a lawyer has no responsibility regarding capacity unless its very evident that there may be a serious problem. Capacity is not a binary thing. Its even conceivable that someone could have diagnosed dementia and still have capacity to make a will.

if the family member thinks that the person is vulnerable and is in an abusive relationship then they need to go to Social Services.

Report to adult social services, the will is only part of the problem if she is being mentally or physically abused. Don't blame it all on a solicitor. Focus on the wider abuse.

Those would be red flags for me and I echo what PPs have said. She may have the necessary capacity for a Will but given her age and apparent vulnerability great care would have needed to be taken by the drafting solicitor and various hoops would need to be jumped through to make sure there was no undue influence or coercion, particularly as her other children are being excluded. There is also a potential safeguarding issue so the Office of the Public Guardian could be notified particularly if LPAs are in place or registered by the daughter.

DD is Also the executor

Have any of the other seven children ever challenged or got involved in their mothers care of dd behaviour,

At least 3 of them in one way or another
Mum has always got aggrieved / agitated, at the other 'jealous' kids of the DD. Mum believes everything she is told by DD and has always been the case

by "always" how long are we talking? People can behave like this and neither be being coerced or demented. 70 isn't old nowadays and if she has favoured one child for some time and the solicitor had no reason to be concerned about dementia, then they wouldn't have to jump through any more hoops than with any other will. Many families have longstanding issues among siblings, which is what this sounds like, and it would take more than that to make a credible objection to the will. I make no judgement as to whether the will is reasonable or fair but the concerned party doesn't sound like they have much in their favour to contest about.

Other siblings want mum to sell her house and move into care, where she'd have proper support. Hospital rehab also suggested a care home was the best option. However, mum — possibly under some influence — decided she wanted to return home. DD has a long history of dishonesty but is always believed by mum, even when proven wrong. The others have mostly let it go

Speaking as a retired professional, this is not uncommon. Many many mentally competent people, my mother among them, refuse residential care even though they are struggling at home. A sibling who had taken early retirement supported my Mum, although she did not live with her. Don't answer if you don't want to and I know you have said that they are not after the money released by selling the mother's home, but how much care/support do they provide to enable the mother to do what she has said she wants?

Are there any signs of abuse or neglect? Is she clean and properly dressed? Properly fed what she wants to eat? Is she ever left in wet or soiled clothes? Does she get any prescribed medication when she needs it? Can she have visitors when she wants them?

To be clear, I am not judging. I am asking the same sort of questions that would be asked if an abuse assessment was being made.

As a PS so you understand my viewpoint, I was an Occupational Therepist in community and inpatient elderly rehab. I, and my team, did used to openly disagree with doctors and nurses who had opinions about what people "should" do. Its my opinion that professionals in rehabilitation should be focussed on what the patient wants and not what THEY think the patient should want. I am absolutely not saying that coercion/abuse should be ignored (been involved in that too) but its not up to them to have views on patient choices.

You said.she "appears to have possible undiagnosed dementia. She’s afraid of the daughter she lives with, who is extremely controlling ".

There's something called "the golden rule" that applies to taking instructions from the elderly. There's no specific age parameters but if there's concern about dementia and the mother wants her Will to stand, a medical report on capacity may nip any concerns in the bud. The solicitor that drafted the will.would want to avoid the will being contested so may have suggested it but that's something you won't know.

Re care decisions as I mentioned above, is the DD appointed as an attorney under an LPA? If so, she can make care decisions under a Health and Welfare LPA but only if the donor (the mother) has lost capacity.

The lounge hasn't been used by anyone else for years. No one is 'allowed ' to go in there. Especially Mum. It's all decorated and full of DD's belongings. Mum has had to use 'the back room' which is a shabby dining room. FFS lounge is nicely decorated and furnished. Mum won't have a bad word said about DD. Impression is that if mum or anyone goes into 'lounge' then mum will get repercussions after relatives / visitors have left. Nothing detrimental is ever done/ said in public by DD. But no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. And no proof as such.

what about the questions i asked?

Every time its challenged, mum shuts the conversation down and defends dd.
DD denies everything and mum sides with DD. .Every time its addressed it causes conflict ( and probably consequences for mum, afterwards).

I don't understand the purpose of this thread OP. What do you want to know or ask? You don't seem to be interested in the questions asked by various PP. .which may help you with the legal parameters. Eg is there an LPA in place? what is the condition of the mum?

its also VERY detailed if its just a friend of the OP????

Social services are stretched to the limit , so they don't want to go down that route. Also not sure if mum or DD will disclose if DD has POA.

you seem to be VERY invested in this?

If your friend is worried then she should ring the Office of the Public Guardian. They will have a record of whether there is an LPA in place and who the attorneys are. They won't necessarily tell your friend whether there is one or actually do anything, but she is flagging up a potential issue.