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Consent as control

3 replies

Plumpdump · 03/10/2025 17:58

Hello everyone, first time poster so please be kind. My sons (SEND) school, have given me permission to take him abroad during term time. The trouble I have is that his Dad uses consent as a form of control. He says yes but then receives some sort of perceived slight so says no or says "if you don't do this you can't take him abroad" etc. I'm sure it is something many of us are familiar with. Last year I was supported by a domestic abuse charity and he agreed to an undertaking to prevent ongoing harassment. I wanted a non-molestation order but he wouldn't agree to that and I really didn't want to spend a whole day in court so agreed on the undertaking. To be fair, the harassment did stop. I have contacted a mediation firm and am hopeful that they will say that mediation isn't suitable so I can get a specific court order. The reason for this is because he can give consent during mediation and then withdraw it again. A court order seems to be the only thing he can't withdraw consent with. My question is, given that the school have agreed to the absence due to my sons SEND needs, do you think the court will say yes to the absence too? Thank you

OP posts:
Hairycherry · 04/10/2025 02:18

Honestly no. If the father has no criminal convictions, you haven’t been to the police etc, I cannot see the court agreeing if he actively is against giving up his allotted day with his son. Could you take your son away for less time or not abroad? What is your schedule like as parents? Is it one week you and one week him?

if it’s your time with your son you’re valid to do what you like and I can’t see court disagreeing

prh47bridge · 04/10/2025 08:49

You have to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, but you can refuse mediation. You don't have to rely on him refusing.

If you get a Child Arrangements Order saying that your son lives with you, you will not need his consent to take your child out of the country for up to one month.

Plumpdump · 04/10/2025 21:00

@Hairycherry thank you for your reply. Our son lives with me full time and sees his dad for a few hours each Sunday. This isn't a court arrangement just one between us. Does that make a difference do you think?

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