I’ll try to keep this short 🙈
my partners mother of their child and ex partner is harassing us and was wondering on what I can do, advice and legal matters.
To start, they broke up when the child was 1 and she moved out a week before she was 2. The way in which she did this was by calling the police to say he was abusing her and got him arrested. Then cleared out the house when he was in custody and withheld the child from him for the rest of the year (about 10 months.) This was only disputed when they went to court and she said she lied about it and he could obviously see his kid.
We got together around this time and now have two children together (1 and 4 months.) In this time she has sent messages every couple of days about selling the house so she can have her money. That he is bringing a ‘random girl into her house’ (bear in mind, she moved out 2 years prior to this, and doesn’t pay any money towards the house and has a council house she doesn’t pay towards.)
On top of this she sends constant abuse about what we’re both doing with his daughter. How we spend our time with her, what we feed her, what we do, how we talk with her, how we parent her, how we dress her, how I do her hair (this has been a particular point of messages, she doesn’t like 2 types of bobbles, braids….) She is constantly saying he’s a bad dad for x,y and Z. And just generally complains about me.
Recently, the past 4 months since our youngest was born, she has messaged me WHILE I WAS IN HOSPITAL WITH HIM for 3 days, that he has been cheating the whole time with her. Meaning I obviously moved in with my mum for a week, then realised after talking to them both she was lying. And the ‘evidence’ was from 3 years ago ( when we first got together) and was just snapshots of other longer conversations, taken out of context to look bad. After I spoke to her and said I think its best if I have no contact with her if she is going to do this for my children, her child and my relationship, and im going to stop taking her child every Saturday to dance and swimming on my own, without her dad, as I dont think I should be alone with her and its a shame that the daughter is being affected by this. She then started ranting at me and saying I was a bad mum and ‘going regret it’ when he turns out abusive like she said. Oh yeah, the past 3 years I was getting weekly messages about how he was abusive and did this and that and I shouldn’t have my kids around him, and this is the type of evil man I’m with (he has never shown any signs of being slightly abusive or aggressive.) I obviously blocked her on Snapchat.
Then I messaged her saying how I strongly disagree and think its irresponsible for her to post a video of her 5 years old twerking on social media, to which she then sent massive paragraphs saying how I was abusive and a horrible person… And she blocked me on instagram.
Since then I’ve had no direct contact with her but she messages my partner weekly after we have the child in our custody and it’s ALWAYS something I have done wrong. I am never alone with the child (which is a massive shame as I do miss our relationship) as I dont trust not being chaperoned with her. Saying I have post natal depression, I’m a threat to her children and mine, I’m mentally unwell, her child told her this, her child said daddy or me said that, I was mean to her, I left her out, I’m obviously trying to cut her out of our lives. It is a weekly occurrence. also to mention, I work with children and I am training to get my Primary Education degree with QTS so these allegations are not only the furthest thing from true but also have quite devastating consequences on me, my job and my children. Like my kids could be taken off me never mind my job or future jobs. Never mind the mental state of my children when they’re older.
I am just wondering if I could get a restraining order against her or a non molestation order, or something that means she can’t talk to me or about me and has to leave me alone. I am obviously going to speak to the nursery, university, my union, and my health visitor. But was wondering if there was something more legal to make it stop instantly about me.
This is a very long story cut as short as I could, obviously my partner could do family court, social services…. But he isn’t until the house is sold which we can do until i finish my degree and get a job as no bank with give me a mortgage in my current job. So that is another 3 years minimum.
Please help, as it making me so sad and miserable. That I’m being blamed for hurting a child I’ve known since she was 2 and also the thought that I would do anything to my own children or others in my care :(