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Can anyone help me with this?

5 replies

Cherrybloss0ms · 09/09/2025 23:52

I need to keep this vague for obvious reasons so name change as well.

Stbxh is being investigated for a serious crime and I provided information to police relating to this as soon as I became aware of his involvement. This may mean I need to go to court to speak against him. Since I provided this information and they took a statement police have not been in touch with me at all. I've been ringing (not really often but I've tried every few months once or twice to mobile and office) the investigating officer but in now over a 6 months they've never once returned my call. They didn't give me a crime reference number and they had given me a rough timeline of 6 months for things to progress with the investigation so I started trying to get in touch around then. So it's been 6 months of me trying to get in touch since that marker passed, I've not wanted to hound them as I'm sure they're busy. But I expected something back.

Reasons why I want to get an update is I'd like to be aware of when stbxh is told that I've worked with the police against him because I'm worried how he might react and I need to keep myself and my son safe. Secondly I'm worried it might affect our divorce and thirdly his offences could potentially affect our child due to the nature of it so I want to know when things are happening so I can safeguard our child and also because I want to know the full extent of his crime since he is seeking contact and I've said no on the grounds that at the moment I've only his word to go on and obviously that's meaningless and he's given weak excuses for what he's done with no accountability.

What can I do, how much information am I actually entitled to in this position of us being seperated but having participated in the investigation and being worried about my own safety? They said they'd inform our social worker but the social worker has closed as they're happy with my parenting to date and they've said they won't be passing info on to me if they get it.

Any advice?

OP posts:
ForGladGreen · 10/09/2025 08:20

Without being too outing are you able to give any more detail on the type of crime? As this would affect his access to your child / chances of getting contact.

and how long ago did the crime happen, were you witness to it? Was it when you were together?

Cherrybloss0ms · 10/09/2025 09:43

I don't want to say too much as it's an open investigation but the crime affected children but but our child and was an ongoing crime until he was caught. We were together at the time and I had absolutely zero idea or I'd have reported him myself. I didn't witness it and he went to great lengths to hide it from everyone including me- outwardly was a great husband and liked by everyone.

OP posts:
ForGladGreen · 10/09/2025 09:50

Ok helpful, are social services involved already and is he currently no contact / full custody sits with you?

Cherrybloss0ms · 10/09/2025 10:30

There is no formal order in place, my solicitor said best approach was to wait for him to seek out contact via court which he hasn't done so far. Sw was involved very briefly but because I asked him to leave immediately and refused any contact they decided there was no role for them as I was safeguarding effectively and they closed.

OP posts:
ForGladGreen · 10/09/2025 19:48

Essentially once you’ve given a witness statement in a police investigation, the police don’t always keep you updated unless you’re directly classed as a victim. But you are entitled to safeguarding information, particularly if your child could be at risk.

So I would:
1)Ask for the crime reference number. Basic information you are entitled to.
2)Request a named contact within the investigation team. If the officer in charge is not responding, then escalate through the police station’s safeguarding unit. You can also escalate to the detective sergeant.
Worth asking who the police force’s Victim & Witness Care Unit is. Most UK forces have one – sometimes called “Witness Care Unit” or “Victim & Witness Hub”).

If you still don’t get a response from all that then well within rights to make a formal complaint to the professional standards dept.

Even though social services closed your case, you can re-refer yourself at any time. If you feel your child’s safety could be compromised by contact or by him learning you have reported him/given a statement, you can call the local authority’s Children’s Services duty team.

Social workers have safeguarding thresholds and given this relates to offences affecting children, Children’s Services would certainly want to keep a watching brief if they were updated.

If police won’t update you but do share with social services, you can ask the social worker to liaise with the police on your behalf.

You are obviously not obliged to offer any contact to this man until he applies to court.

If he does apply for contact the CAFCASS team will be involved. They run safeguarding checks with police before the first hearing. If your ex is under investigation for offences against children, CAFCASS would flag this as a serious safeguarding concern and the court would likely restrict, suspend, or make contact supervised only (if at all).

Other steps she can take:

1)Clare’s Law. Apply for disclosure of info to see if this is something he has done before / for any information that may affect yours or child’s safety.
2)Sarah’s Law (child sex offender disclosure scheme). If he poses a risk to children, you can apply for disclosure. This is usually triggered where there’s suspicion of child sexual offences.

If you fear intimidation or harassment once he knows you’ve given evidence, your solicitor can help you apply for a non molestation order. It can be obtained quickly and without notice if needed.

Legally, you would be entitled to:

Special Measures in court if you end up having to testify — e.g., screens, video link, separate entrance.

To be kept informed of key decisions in the case under the Victims’ Code (although the code focuses on victims rather than witnesses, in child-related offences it can extend to protective parents).

Hope helpful, well done for protecting your kids x

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