I have been employed by my employer (large public sector) for over 25 years. Unfortunately during COVID I experienced some real difficulties and for the first time in my career went off sick . I was subsequently accused of not following sick absence procedures and was dismissed. It was also alleged that I received a substantial overpayment (which I did not). I successfully appealed the decision and was to be reinstated with immediate effect and no detriment. Unfortunately this didnt happen (or at least there were very long delays during which I was on nil pay) and I had to raise an ET to get them to take the steps to get back to work eg offer me a post.
I have now been back in work for nearly a year (no absences, performing well) and the case has finally been concluded. The judge has partially found in my favour and a remedy hearing has been scheduled for a months time. Unfortunately the judgement contains lots of details about the allegations (which it does say I was found innocent of but still repeats them) and about my mental health/hosptalisation/suicide attempts. I am really starting to stress about the judgement going public and dont know what if anything I can do. I am a litigant in person and can't afford legal advice. I know this was always a possibility and dont know If I just have to try and suck it up but the impact on mental health is starting to show (my psychiatrist says they are worried). I am slightly terrified, feel humiliated, my reputation will be in tatters but not sure what else I could have done. Could I ask for anonymity or is it too late? WWYD? To be honest I feel that I just want to crawl under a rock and die but am trying to be sensible. Any advice gratefully received. Thank you.