If an ex applies for parental responsibility of his new partners child should that affect our child?

[Piccolo879]

Hi all, I’m new to here so hello 👋🏻
I’m just looking for some advice and opinions really as a lot of stuff in child/family law which you would think would make sense, often doesn’t!
My summarised story is that I have full custody (not from my choice!) of my DS who is now a teenager. His father and I have been separated for 13.5 years, divorced officially for 12. In our divorce we didn’t have a parenting/child maintenance arrangement as we party very amiably and he was a doting father - so we shared childcare 50:50. I hated this, I will admit, because missed my baby so much on his weeks, but I had to swallow it down because for our son, it was 100% the right decision. DS thrived and if he ever wanted to switch a night we would just do that for him. We attended all school events together, saving a seat for whoever was the latest to arrive. We literally were the parents who nobody at school even knew had separated years before.
Fast forward until year 6 of primary and my ex finally met someone and everything absolutely changed. New wife had a child of her own and within months they were also expecting together. My son lost his bedroom for the new baby, then would come home in tears because of things which had been said to him. School intervened and said if it continued, they’d have to invoke safeguarding. That’s when the decision was made for DS to reside with me full time.
a lot of stuff and aggro has happened over the years but it appears now that his new partner/wife has left him, but she had been diagnosed with, and luckily fully recovered from cancer in that time. As my ex isn’t seeing DS and we no longer have contact I applied to the CMS and about a year ago payments started- but they were calculated on him having 2 other dependents? My ex and his ex had one child together. But she had a child from a previous relationship and my ex apparently applied through court to have parental responsibility for that child also.
but seeing as that child’s father is alive and well, albeit in a different country now, shouldn’t HE be responsible for his own child, rather than my ex? I’m lucky as I can survive at a push, just, on what he does pay each month, but as it’s split between 3 rather than 2 it does grate on me. My DS hasn’t even been allowed to see his half sibling not his step sibling for 18 months now, at the behest of the new but now ex wife. I’m really feeling it this month as I’ve just had to fork out for a full new uniform, shoes, PE kit and laptop, and Christmas is coming soon too. My DS’s third of the CMS pot doesn’t stretch to cover even half of his reasonable monthly expenses- school dinners, after school activities, PE kit, clothes, hairdressers etc. should it not be that the other child’s father is responsible for their maintenance payments, rather than the man who has applied for parental responsibility? I thought that just meant that he has autonomy to make decisions for the child. Not that we would automatically become financially liable and have to split maintenance a third way? For reference, my DS saw his father for 6 hours in the entire school summer holiday, despite me offering him 3 full weeks
I’m desperate for any advice on the matter as to me, it doesn’t seem right that he’s paying for a child who could be paid for by their father xxx

He has parental responsibility for that child so there's nothing you can do. It's crap that he's not adequately providing for his children though.

But does parental responsibility automatically mean he’s financially responsible also, when the father could provide?

Regardless of whether he has parental responsibility for his new wife’s older child or not, the CMS calculation will take into account that he is living with two other children in his household, even if one has a father of its own: https://www.gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out

It might not seem fair from your perspective, but it’s just how it works. It’s about financial provision for all children involved: the older child’s father might not pay any maintenance, and would lose out in a household where your ex is living and his finances counted as part of that household if the older child were treated as if it didn’t exist. If he doesn’t have overnight contact with your joint DS, this will also be taken into account (in your favour) in his payments.

Isn’t OP saying that Ex no longer lives with his ex-wife, and therefore presumably not with her older child? I’m not sure of the rules around this, but I wouldn’t have thought that having PR means that child is automatically taken into account.
OP, are CMS aware that he isn’t living with or supporting that child? I wonder if the claim was made while he was still living with his exW. Or if he has lied when he gave the information. In your shoes I’d go back to CMS and tell them he doesn’t have 2 other dependent children now, and can they amend the assessment.

I would defo get some free legal advise on this as if your ex isn’t in a relationship now with his new ex then her child who isn’t his biological child wouldn’t be living with him,I always assumed to get parental responsibility he would have to adopt said child

Free legal advice? I think we have established on other threads that solicitors don’t work for free. Just pay for a consultation op.

Also the "split 3 ways" isn't remotely equal.

Say your kid is due £100, with no other kids to account for. By including two other kids in his household, the reduction will be something like £16, at worst. So your £100 "falls" to £84. And there's only one kid you actually object too. This is going to be a matter of a handful of pounds.

Is it really that much of an issue given in a couple of years he'll be too old for CMS anyway?

Not that it matters because there's nothing you can do about it anyway, but perhaps the tiny margin it actually changes has been helpful to see.

The kids aren't in his household, he's paying maintenance to both the op and his more recent ex.

If he adopted the step child during the marriage, they will be considered as much his child are the biological ones. It's shit patenting to choose to have or take on another child while not adequately supporting the one you already have, but you can't stop ex's beings shit.

Ah I misread, I thought they'd got back together.

Yes it will be three ways if they are all out of household.

I don't know if you can call someone a shit parent for taking parental responsibility and making a contribution to their non biological child, because you deem your child more important.

It's not that the biological ones are more important, I think it was equaly shit parenting to have a new baby while not supporting the child he already had. You should provide for the children you already have before having more, no matter how you acquire the subsequent kids.

Okay so I have an update and thank you all so much for your advice! So basically to clarify as there was some confusion in the comments, my ex and his new wife are separated and they live in separate homes. He did apply for parental responsibility for the stepchild whilst they were together and got that, but as far as I could see online, that would have just given him the ability to make decisions at the GP or school or what have you. It wasn’t an adoption.
I was really confused on the issue so I contacted the CMS and explained. Then earlier this week I received a notification from them to say he’s now in arrears with me, because he shouldn’t have been claiming to pay for the other child also. Please don’t get me wrong - I don’t have an issue at all with him being a responsible stepfather and supporting that child - I was brought up myself with my stepfather being my dad and the man who provided for me. My issue was that I couldn’t understand the system, he’s on a good wage and he’s basically just dropped our DS over the last few years - if he was seeing him and spending time with him then that would be better I guess than not supporting him financially in some ways.
I have my answer now and whilst it was a relief when they investigated and came back to say I was correct, because it had just baffled me for so long, it’s bittersweet because I now know for sure that he wasn’t even providing for our DS properly, as well as not seeing him. It’s just really sad all round really. But I’m really grateful to all those who responded and offered advice - thank you 🩷