Legal to film me without consent?

[JayJayy]

My controlling ex husband has set up an entire new camera system in a property I still currently own half of. He refuses to give me access to these cameras. I visit the home several times a week as my dog is still at the property temporarily. I have told him I do not consent to being filmed and was told I need to ‘familiarise myself with the law’. As far as I can see I have a right to not be recorded in what is still my home.

this is a pattern of control and abuse tbh and I’m at the stage where I’m fed up with his behaviour.
anyone advise?

I doubt you'll have much success legally with the camera situation. You own the property too, but you are not living there.
Why do you still have personal belongings there - clothing etc? Spend a day removing all your stuff ( not shared items that will be in dispute). Then you literally just need to walk in get your dog and walk back out going forward.

Please read previous post for explanation as to why my property is there.

Im not suggesting you take large items that require a storage unit ( they'll probably be in the marital assets argument anyway). Im talking about clothing and personal items.

These things take time and just from reading the OP its fairly obvious is it not that she is probably being obfuscated at every turn

He well wothin his rights to have cameras in a house he lives in buy you dont

You could move back in with a burly male relative for protection?

I agree!. I would just put up with the camera for now. Turn off the ones you can turn off and just carry on. He has the right to have cameras in his home. Not ideal for you but I can understand why he would want to. You don't live there anymore so I would want to know when you are coming and going as well why don't you want him to onow when you go there?

He does know when I go, I’ve never been secretive about that. I usually message to tell him I’m picking up the dog. It’s more about keeping an eye on me whilst I’m there and seeing what, if anything, I’m taking from the property.

This is the man who argued a duvet cover I won in a competition was a ‘marital asset’ whilst wearing a £2,000 watch on his arm. Rationality isn’t always his forte.

You need proper legal advice asap, not the muddled responses you are getting from unqualified people on the internet. Take control so you know when he is bluffing about money and legalities. Hope it goes well OP. 🌸

Can you turn the WiFi off?

Not if it's his and he's paying for it

I don't really get the extent of tour frustration. It might still be your house but it's not your residence a y longer.

Surely if the sole purpose of the visit is to spend time with the dog, why are you worried about cameras in rooms you really have no need to go into? You say you can unplug the one downstairs. I would think all you need to do is walk the dog and maybe sit with it in the main room, not take it in the bedrooms?

I have need to go into every room of what remains my house, but as you don't get it, it's probably not worth me explaining further.

It has nothing to do with the dog though. If you are just picking things up that are yours, why are you bothered that you are being filmed? On the opposite, he can't accuse you or taking things that are not yours.

I have spent my entire marriage being tracked, watched, filmed and spied on. I have found the courage and strength to call time on this. With this comes the strength within me to refuse my consent to be filmed on my own property any longer.
I, and many other people, would be 'bothered' by being filmed in that environment.

This is nothing to do with seeing what I take and everything to do with continued attempts to control.

The idea that an estranged ex was coming into my home (even if they owned half and used to live there) would make me uncomfortable. That they then went into every room and went into cupboards and drawers to remove items would be exceptionally uncomfortable to me. If you are also tampering with his property then you are dodgy ground.

The optics don’t look good for either of you but imo much less so for you OP. And he will use that against you.

Regular trips to walk the dog or dog sit should be separate from your need to recover personal items. My advice would to make a list of personal items that you personally own because you bought them or because they were given to you to be used only by you. Package them up as the ones you want to take and ones you want to have stored.

Is it criminal damage to break things in your own home?

I'm inclined to agree with this - You're not doing the things you assume he suspects you of doing, the footage is proof of that and protects you if he tries to claim otherwise. He's the one sat all paranoid pouring over it at the end of the day.

It would be different if you were staying overnight, or had to spend your days their for some reason...but if you're just grabbing bits of your stuff and taking the dog out, I'm not sure what the issue is.

You say it's 'a pattern of control and abuse', which is fair enough. But you'd find if the genders were swapped here and a non-resident male was returning to a property occupied by his ex multiple times a week to see a pet and collect property, that would be seen in much the same way, and there would be little sympathy for his living situation.

I hope you can get your housing sorted ASAP so that you and Doggo can be rid of this situation.

Most of my belongings remain in what is still my house. Whilst my ex husband is happily living in the large 4 bed detached I have a tiny flat that simply cannot accommodate anywhere near all of my things.

The cupboards and drawers I go into contain my items and mine alone. I do not and have not gone into his bedroom (we had separate rooms), his wardrobes or drawers. His 'property' is tamper free. As is anything joint in the marriage. For example there are three Denby dinner services and two sets of Denby cutlery in the kitchen, a reasonable person would split these now as there is more than enough to share but these are a 'marital asset' according to him. If I was being unreasonable I could just take my half, but I have not. The only things I take from the house are bits of clothing, shoes and my handbags. His feelings on marital assets do not stretch to his expensive watch collection so dont for a moment be fooled that this is anything to do with protecting property or feeling uncomfortable.

I am still firmly of the belief that there are hidden cameras or recording devices, probably hoping to catch phone conversations when I sit with the dog in the lounge for a while.

Whilst I can see why you feel that way, you are giving him and his cameras the headspace he wants. But if he's in your headspace, you are in his too - as someone else has said, it's pretty sad he comes home to watch video of you!

However, if you take on this, do you trult think that he won't up his "game". You think he loves the dog? What is the dog becomes the next pawn? The bottom line is that he may be your legally dog but he has every right to refuse to take care of it. Someone I know had similar - her ex loved the dog until the dog became the last pawn. At which point he dumped it at the RSPCA saying that he couldn't /wouldn't look after it and she had abandoned it. The dog was euthanised two weeks later as she had nowhere for it to live with her at that time. I would let him have you in his headspace if he's that sad, you ignore letting him in yours, but keep the dog safely out of it until you have a place for you both.

What are you doing in the property that you don't want him to see? Take the dog out for a walk if you don't want him to see you interact with the dog. I would think watching who comes and goes to the house and internal cameras to keep an eye on the dog, is what home and pet owners are encouraged to do, I can't see anything illegal about it. Set up your own duplicate cameras to see who comes and goes and what the dog does if you want to show your equal ownership.

It just sounds like a bad divorce that you need to get settled ASAP and also decide who has custody of the dog.

If there are cameras in your bedroom then by all means disconnect them. Could you move all your personal stuff to a friend or family members house?

The dog is the only thing i'm confident he wont be a dick over. Our adult DD has the same breed and stays at the house when she comes up to visit, bringing her own dog. He knows full well any wrong move with the dog would totally alienate our DD, If it did get to a point where he refused to take care of him, and I know it wouldn't, then DD would look after him I'm certain.

It is if those things belong to somebody else.

I know the replies might not sound it, but the people posting have your best interests in mind. They are looking at this objectively and giving you advice on how best to manage your own safety and peace of mind.

And in this case your safety and peace of mind are best served by disengaging from his fuckwittage. You moved out for a reason but you might as well have not if you go there every day and get wound up by the visit.

Accept the situation as it is. He is housing your dog. You are visiting each day to walk the dog and sit with the dog. That is the mutually agreed arrangement. You don’t need to make calls and you don’t need to recover personal items on these visits. If you need or want to take personal items arrange to do this in advance as a one off. That way you are taking the high ground and removing a point of conflict. That is what is best for you.