Co parenting troubles after seperation

[TruthSeeker4ever]

Ex seperated 2 months ago. First he didn’t keep in touch. Now he wants contact with kids ( 13 and 5 year old) but on his terms. He met them a month ago for lunch and then want to see them only for 3 hours coming weekend. When I tell him that he has to be a more present for them, and at least make the meetings longer for a better connection, he is sending hostile messages that I am stopping him meet the kids. He is having absolutely no involvement in their life.

For a background, the seperation was also imposed with everything defined by him and all blame put on me.

What should I do?
Shall I do child arrangement order? How long does that take and will ex be legally bound to follow it?

Meanwhile , Do I let him meet children as and when he asks. I am worried for children as they expect more, but he is not ready to be part of their life.

Looking for advice.

No having an Arrangement by Court doesn’t mean he has to stick to it. Do the DC want to see him, if they do then I would let them, I appreciate it’s not as much as they or you probably want, but you do need to do what’s best for everyone.

Ignore the hostile messages

Give him the option to see the kids for example the kids will be available to spend time with you on x day at y time don't do it on a day he usually works if he doesn't want to do that then that's on him

A CAO won't be any good for the 13 year old and courts usually prefer you to sort things out via mediation unless there has been abuse

Speaking of abuse if he crosses the line report him to the police

Thank you @Theunamedcat @Lennonjingles. That’s exactly what I think he would do even if did CAO. He is not showing any responsibility towards kids which he promised when seperation started. He made me consent to divorce application also using this promise. Since I’ve no family in U.K., I feel he is taking advantage, and now using kids to make life difficult for me.

Is there any other suggestion how to go about this?

The first thing you need to do is not consent to anything before you take legal advice. If you cannot afford legal advice then he needs to pay for that legal advice before anything will be signed off by a judge.
So you need to put in writing to him that you will not agree to anything else with regards to the financial side of it until he has paid for you to see a Solicitor.

I don’t think he can be forced to pay for OP’s legal advice. Since when?