Bullied at work - what do I do next?

[Workproblems18]

Hi, I'm a long time user of Mumsnet but have created a new account to avoid being outed in real life. I'm so sorry this is long!

I'm having a few problems at work and I really need advice as to whether I need to be taking a legal route now.

I work full time in education (no issues at this job) but also have a part time job evenings and weekends. I have worked there for 15 years, the most part with no issues. Approx 6 years ago, this new woman started and since then I've been blamed and accused of all sorts and everything I do is questioned, but not to my face - it's questioned in passive aggressive notes, whatsapp messages and by writing on my signed financial shift sheets that should not be altered - as I've signed it to say everything is correct when I finished work.

I brought this up to the directors and trustees in writing, raising as a grievance last year. I attended a meeting, to which I was accompanied by my trade union. I handed over files of evidence - copies of notes left, photographs, screenshots, even my bank statements and receipts to prove that anything I had purchased whilst on shift was paid for. They accepted my complaint and said it would be dealt with. The following week later, I received an email saying they couldn't agree to a resolution as I had not turned up to a meeting that they had scheduled with this woman to discuss the issues. I did not know anything of this meeting until I received this email stating I hadn't turned up. My union rep also received this non-attendance email but no appointment email.

Things quietened down, but fast forward 6 months and she's ramped it up again - notes being left insinuating stock is missing after I've been on shift, questioning my till receipt prints, whatsapp messages claiming I hadn't locked something or that I'd left something open. I've had to start recording myself entering and exiting the building, almost like a walk through so I can prove I switched things off, have put things away, how much stock is on display, that display cabinets have been filled. I take photographs of everything and am considering a body worn camera.

It's extremely exhausting and I'm mentally drained. I have AuDHD and I'm really quite meticulous and regimental in doing things before I leave, if I thought for one second I hadn't done something, I'd be awake all night worried sick. As it happens, I spend the days before my next shift worried sick of what lies in wait for me. I'm also not great with confrontation so I'm constantly anxious.

I've tried speaking to ACAS, they have confirmed it is classed as bullying as per their website: Although there is no legal definition of bullying, it can be described as unwanted behaviour from a person or group that is either:

• offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting
• an abuse or misuse of power that undermines, humiliates, or causes physical or emotional harm to someone

Bullying might:

• be a regular pattern of behaviour or a one-off incident
• happen face-to-face, on social media, in emails or calls
• happen at work or in other work-related situations
• not always be obvious or noticed by others

It's possible someone might not know their behaviour is bullying. It can still be bullying even if they do not realise it or do not intend to bully someone.

They have advised another written grievance, but given the fact that they done nothing last time, I don't hold much hope other than she'll quieten down for a while then start again. I guess my question is, can I take the next step and seek legal action? And do I seek action against this woman ie cease and desist or against my employer for failure to protect me against bullying? It's happening to both myself and one other member of staff, who happens to be related to me.

I don't want to leave or jump before I'm pushed - I have children and both my job during the day and this one allows me to work around it. I've looked for something else but there's nothing with similar shift patterns. I also don't know if I've got a leg to stand on legally, hence my question in legal matters. I'm really at the end of my rope.

TIA

Can you speak to your union rep again? I think you will have to go down this route again but TU should support you and put your case forward. Only when you’ve exhausted the institutions grievance procedures should you be looking at legal action. Your union should advise you

I know how you feel - I was bullied in a similar way by a boss who seemed to have it in for me. i saw my GP who gave me anti depressants and sleeping pills. My mum had just died suddenly. I worked for my local council so I was lucky that I could apply for a job internally that resolved my problem.

I hope you can resolve it OP

If you file a case against the employer, then your position becomes untenable. That’s because the legal claim is essentially saying “my employer has made it impossible for me to continue working here.”

You can keep pursuing grievances, escalate through union/ACAS, and document everything. This avoids resigning but can be slow, and highly likely it will not stop the behaviour.

OR you can resign and claim constructive dismissal. This is the “untenable position” route. You can reisgn & argue the employer has fundamentally breached the implied term of trust and confidence, and you can go for a tribunal claim. But it’s a serious step, incredibly hard to win without very strong evidence and legal support.

Find a new job OP, that’s not what you want but it is the best route. I have dealt with some really nasty pieces of work in the work place and they never change, they find a new victim and quite often the employer can do very little about them.

This sounds horrible and exhausting.

I would approach your management again (in writing) explaining what is happening and the impact it is having on you. I would say that your preference is ideally that it is dealt with informally in the first place, and all you are requesting is that she stops her behaviour. If you have to escalate to a formal grievance then you can show you have already tried the informal route.

However as someone who ended up having to take legal action against my employer I would sound a note of caution. It becomes all consuming and can take many many years. I would do your utmost to avoid legal action.

Thank you for your posts, there's some things for me to consider.

It's just an awful situation to be stuck in. I'm in my 40s, this woman is in her 60s. I don't know whether it's a power trip or just her personality. I'm the youngest of staff and I very rarely see her, so everything is done passive aggressively and is always in writing. We used to have a 'staff handover' book - basically a notebook to leave handover messages for the next shift etc, but this disappeared after she used it to leave multiple messages directed at me, usually with 'yet again you have' or 'yet again you haven't'.. I took multiple photocopies of everything and photographs, and after I first reported the bullying, the book vanished and has not been replaced - possibly in a bid to hide evidence, but I'd already copied it all. Notes are now written on scraps of paper and, as I said previously, my shift documents.

She's relentless, but think she thinks she is untouchable, which is why I was considering an outside agency to complain. Sadly, I believe the directors are very much 'in her pocket' so to speak.

Sounds like harassment to me.

As a PP has said, quitting and taking the company to tribunal for constructive dismissal is a legal option. It is incredibly difficult to win these cases however, and they involve a lot of time, effort, stress and money.

You could instruct a solicitor to write your employer a letter reminding them of their legal obligation to protect you from bullying and harassment in the workplace, asking them to set out how they intend to do this given the behaviour you're experiencing and their failure to properly act on your original grievance.

The letter holds no more or less legal weight than if you'd written it yourself, but the 'official' looking nature of it could well spur them into action.

@Workproblems18 I would start by submitting a Subject Access Request in particular asking for a copy of the letter neither you nor the TU rep received.

Quite frankly I am shocked the TU rep didn’t point out neither of you received the letter and asked for the meeting to be rearranged.

I wonder why these cases are made so difficult to win? In a logical world, it would make sense to be able to fight and win these sort of cases to make an example of these bullies - well that makes sense in my head! I absolutely hate bullies and bullying, and have stood up against them for my own DC over the years but I just don't have strength to deal with them when it's against me and defend myself. It makes me sound weak and pathetic but I feel truly drained and exhausted by the whole thing.

I've just gone through the paperwork and emails from my previous complaint, the first email I sent to my union to make them aware of what had been going on was in July 2021. I brought it to the attention of the directors in 2023 & has since ramped up again in the past 6 months.