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Family taking items when DM died

4 replies

Mazemaze · 16/08/2025 09:28

After my DM died her DP told me that her three DSis helped themselves to some of her personal belongings (they had been staying there when she was in hospital right at the end). DP and DM did not live together but he is adamant that her DSis were circling for whatever they could take from her property when she died.

However, one DSis (my aunt) told me that another DAunt packed up all of the historical family photos and a distant second or third cousin came and collected them all. This might sound trivial to some but these photos are family photos dating from around 1870 onwards. There was literally a couple of hundred of incredible priceless family photos (I am aware that if you are not into family history you won’t give a shit), but these were an amazing collection that most people probably don’t have of their ancestors. Amongst them were two large portraits in huge frames which when I had these restored the frame shop were amazed at.

Probate has just been granted and my DM left everything to my DS.

Surely it is theft for them to have taken items from her property just days after she died and these photos belong to him along with whatever else was taken?

I don’t live in the same country at my DM so was not here to see what happened. Can we instruct the solicitor who holds probate to ask for the photos back? I am happy for them to be copied of course but I cannot believe a relative just bundled the lot up and shipped them off to a distant relative. I’m actually furious - I was the only one doing the family history and had put all these photos into acid-free albums etc and the whole lot is gone. DM was keeping these safe with her as I had moved overseas.

OP posts:
godmum56 · 16/08/2025 09:38

Can you prove what was taken? Hard proof not what people say?

Longnightmoon · 16/08/2025 09:47

Yes, of course it is theft, they return everything, or it is reported to the police

Showerflowers · 16/08/2025 09:55

I had similar when a relative died. Family members came and took things that they seemed to think they had sone right over. Photos, jewellery and some ornaments. Nothing if great value but we were furious and emailed relative to get these items returned. In the email I listed the items and asked tgat they be returned asap. Relative replied with an excuse as to why they thought they should keep them. Then I went to police. The email was proof that they had taken the items without permission. Police paid them a visit and items were quickly returned. So might very well be worth you getting this kind of proof before you take things further

lifeisgoodrightnow · 16/08/2025 09:57

yes instruct the solicitor. I’d warn the d/ aunt first to give them chance to rectify

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