Child contact/advice or stories please

[GirlMumF]

Hi - so I recently ended a relationship with my daughter’s dad (she is 9 months) due to domestic abuse which had been ongoing long before my baby girl arrived. I was at breaking point and mentally I could not take anymore. My tipping point was him shouting at me with my baby girl in his arms (this has been reported everywhere it needs to be). He left the family home which is legally his and wants us out asap so I’ve found a rental at very short notice.

My solicitor sent him a letter outlining why contact right now could put our daughter at risk due to his behaviour and she suggested he do a behaviour change programme (something I asked him to do many times in the relationship but he wouldn’t). He received the letter and text me to say he is blocking me and will now only discuss things through a solicitor. Coincidentally he blocked me the same day he was due to travel on holiday abroad with his friends.

In terms of keeping him updated on our daughter etc, where do I stand if I am blocked? The solicitors letter said no contact right now until there was evidence of change on his part - I am a little bit stumped as to how he has taken this to mean no contact even via phone. I want to know what steps I can take to make sure I’m keeping myself right by my daughter as it’s very likely to go to court.

anyone else experienced something similar?

just some background context even when we were together he never really asked for updates on her despite the fact he works away.

He's asked you not to contact him directly but through his solicitor. I'd wait to hear from his solicitor. Unless your child is going to be having non-emergency healthcare, a change of religious education etc you're not obliged to keep him informed. The ball's in his court.

Thanks that’s really helpful.

You'll need a bit more than him shouting at you to justify stopping all contact. Can you agree fir him to have contact with a safe third party?

Thanks for your reply. That was just one incident of a longer period of domestic abuse. He used to also control my finances, control where I slept and not allow me to care for my daughter overnight etc. I was advised by SS to stop contact to keep my child safe from him as he was not acting in her best interests. Turns out he hasn’t even tried to seek legal help so must not be interested in trying to change his behaviour to be a better parent anyway!