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Legal matters

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Vulnerable mother

4 replies

Kellykellersonliz · 29/07/2025 14:04

My mother is in her seventies and not in good health. My dad died two years ago and since then she has become very involved with a man from her past who now has a partner of 30 years. This man appears to be exerting a huge amount of influence on my mum, trying to persuade her to move house, discussing her legal set up like power of attorney and causing rows with my sibling who has expressed concern so she’s now no longer speaking to my brother. The fact this man isn’t very nice and it all seems a bit seedy with lots of sexting etc is one thing, I’m wondering about two specific incidents. Firstly the partner he has had a fitness to work review with HR at her job as she’s on benefits currently. This man persuaded my mum to go as a family friend for support, the story being that he couldn’t go because it’s his partner. It turned out after that the woman told the team my mum was a solicitor, after a few meetings they questioned it and corrected it. He also got my mum to tell him everything that happened in the meetings. My question is - is there ever a legal mechanism where someone can be prevented from attending but a friend can go? If they’re not married surely even if they live together, on paper they’re the same.

Secondly, my mum is completely besotted with this man. She believes everything he says. The couple have now split up and he claims he’s got a restraining order on his old partner but I don’t believe this, how easy is this to do?

Finally he has said he will set up the old partner in a house as he’s legally bound to do that. If they’re not married would a solicitor ever advise this?

OP posts:
RentalWoesNotFun · 29/07/2025 14:06

Dodgy as hell. Bumping for you.

Harassedevictee · 29/07/2025 20:40

This is a difficult situation and you need to be careful not to alienate your Mum. However, you also need to get a step ahead of this man.

If your Mum owns her own home I would be registering for a property alert https://www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert. If you can also ask (help) your Mum to add her or your email address as one of the three permitted addresses https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/updating-registered-owners-contact-address
Both of these are free to do.

If your Mum does not have LPAs in place try to persuade her to do them now along with a will. I would use Martin Lewis - say you have seen his advice and you are doing yours so why doesn’t she do hers at the same time.
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/power-of-attorney/

If your Mum lives close visit regularly at different times and use subtle questions to find out what he is trying to persuade her to do. Do not react or tell her not to listen to him.

I would also talk to Age UK about what other preventative things you can do.

Property Alert

Sign up to HM Land Registry's free Property Alert service to help protect your property from fraud.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert

Kellykellersonliz · 10/08/2025 14:17

Thanks both for your replies. It turns out this man has got in touch with a property developer on my mums behalf. My brother confronted her but she has now stopped speaking to him. Ultimately there’s nothing we can do as she’ll cut out anyone who questions this man.

OP posts:
MarxistMags · 10/08/2025 14:38

I hope things have improved with your Mum. Definitely worth speaking to Age UK and/or CAB.
Or the Police to share your concerns about undue influence being exerted.

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