Child contact centre rules ?

[Lillynesbit]

Hi there I need help my children are attending a supervised child contact centre with there dad due to ongoing child abuse investigation by the police but every time they come home they are upset there dad is lieing to there face saying he never hit them but kids are upset and confused with his reply as the weeks have went on both kids have told me that during contact there dad says things like remember you told me your mum hits you and the kids reply with no we have never says thst why are yiu lieing but contact centre dont seem to stop him saying unacceptable things I dont feel like this is in my children's best interests he is late every time he seems to get in arguments with our children infront of contact centre staff but the staff dont tell me exactly whsts going on but I reported that my kids feel uncomfortable with him saying these lies as my kids have both told me they asked for a diffrent worker as they both feel dad should not be saying strange things and it makes them feel unsafe I have approached management about it as kids feel like he asks questions then when stopped with a cough from worker they feel like there not allowed to talk I asked the management to get dad to focus on play time and not his agenda to play the victim he has been convicted twice for domestic abuse towards me how do I stop this as I asked contact centre to speak to him but then on Saturday he ramped up his questions he even asked was that mum that gave you bruises on your arm but my son replied with no mum never hits me you do what should I do as I feel in a terrible position that the staff allow contact to become unsafe I feel like its very unpleasant for my kids as after everything they still love him but he is not safe and it os not in my children's best interest to be gaslight and questioned with ill intentions what should I do im scared for my children's mental health and worried why contact centre is behaving very diffrent from anythings iv read online please help us

My children deserve better than this

Report your concerns to your children’s social worker?

Hi thanks but my children dont have a social worker anymore ?

Is it a private contact centre? I’m surprised there is no social care involvement if there is an ongoing police investigation into child abuse. Are you in the UK?

If it is private then you can make a formal complaint, choose another one, or stop contact on safeguarding grounds and let their Dad take you to court.

CafCass may be able to advise.

EDIT - just seen you are in Scotland which doesnt appear to have an equivalent. Hopefully a Scottish mumsnetter can help out.

Yes i am in scotland its court ordered by the family court it all feels a bit strange to me to

That's why I need help as I am worried he will get a good report as I feel like he knows the staff or they have been compromised with his lies

I agree with Pasta99. Cease contact but keep a record that you raised your concerns with the contact workers first. Dad can take you back to court and you can show your evidence. A social worker may become involved but this would be in their best interest to ensure their voices are being heard and listened too

Oh and you can go against a court order if you are genuinely safeguarding the children. You just have to evidence this

But its my kids words against contact centre im scared as I dont see or hear whats being says I only have my children tell me

You need to speak to the contact centre first I think. Factually and clearly set out what your children have told you on what dates. Don’t go into saying you think the staff are compromised etc, just raise your concerns and ask for an explanation and some feedback. You mention ‘a good report’- who are the contact centre sending the reports to, if there is no social worker? Contact whoever that is as well. Once you have some proper information you will have a better idea what to do next.

Is it fully supervised? I'm guessing it's not as it's on a weekend and it will be losely supervised? Ask them for a write up of the sessions maybe. From your view it may seem that they are pro dad but in reality they have to appear mutual. Contact them and have a conversation with them to unpick what conversations are actually taking place during contact. Then you will be in a better position to make future decisions

No its court ordered by the judge to be fully supervised with person there taking notes at all times as I says I approached management they says its unacceptable and will speak to the person supervising the contact but next visit was worse with more question's and no intervention by the staff

I am not in Scotland but cannot imagine that the process is different. The Contact Centre worker would not intervene directly but should be making notes as to what is being said to include in her/his report after. I did contact work (not in a centre - I picked up the kids from dad who they lived with then took them to mum’s house. She usually liked to take them out so I went with them and then returned them to dad). I had to make a detailed report after about their interaction, her behaviour etc. I would certainly have included any conversation which appeared to try to lead the children’s responses in any way.

I think you need to go back to this manager then, and make sure it’s in writing or you are at least keeping detailed notes. Good luck, this sounds very difficult

Is it possible they're just giving him rope to hang himself with? Rather than coming down hard saying x,y,z is inappropriate then he behaves and has a 'positive interaction they should have copious notes of inappropriate behaviour?