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CAO ruling unfair

2 replies

Bubblybrunette · 20/07/2025 22:22

After 2 years I have now had a final CAO. The outcome is totally unfair in my opinion. Not sure if I can do anything about it.
I have a 2 year old child, ex didnt want to know about child until they turned 1. Then he wanted to be dad of the year! Started off with limited supervised contact with a family member as he had little or no experience with children. He changed his job so he could have Thurs - Saturday off, in court he said he wanted 3 nights and I could have 4 nights. This means he has 3 quality days with child, and I only have 1 being Sunday, as I work Monday- Friday. I have always encouraged him to have contact. He has had 4 overnights in total up till the CAO, child is very unsettled when back with me, crying out for mummy at night, saying " Where are you mummy, or Help me mummy". As you can imagine this is heart breaking for myself and the child. He did not prepare a position statement for the First hearing, his witness statement had no more than 15 sentences. He has stopped maintenance and it is now with CMS. My witness statement was factual and provided evidence, of coercive, financial and mental control. Ex has an anger issue, but because I never reported anything to the police CAFCASS say it doesn't count.
He has been given what he wants, 3 nights every week. I am so worried about my child, I even said to the court when he hurts her it will be on them! I know possibly not the best thing to say but I truly believe this could very well happen.
I feel totally despondent, I have been the primary/ basically only carer for 2 years, I really do want them to have good relationship, but this is to much, to quick.

Does anyone know if there is anything I an do? Barristers and solictor are shocked at the outcome, but say the decision is final. He wanted a lot more but was knocked back, by the judge and legal team.

OP posts:
Rootsdarling2 · 21/07/2025 06:51

Did you demand that he does EOW from the start from Fri to Mon? Then 1 midweek overnight stays? That's what's usually given.

I've been through the process but my DC was older and ex didn't really want to do EOW nevermind 1 single overnight stays. No advice what you can do going foward.

CMS is your best bet. No arguing over money.

Bubblybrunette · 21/07/2025 07:52

We tried everything, the judge was really not going to change his mind. I am really not sure why he got so much. Ex wanted so much more. There are no ongoing concerns on me. I just don't understand how this can happen, all the judge and his council said was child is young enough to adapt? I thought they were meant to to be for the children, this is in no way in child's best interest.

CMS have been involved since March and as he has missed 2 payments they have done collect and pay. I can see he thinks he doesn't have to pay as he is having 3 nights, but he still will have pay maintenance.

He doesn't realise how much work a 2 year old will take, so I am hoping that he will drop some of the nights. But I will have to wait and see.

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